Why I Feel Sorry for Mark McGwire

Listen, before you immediately get irate that I would dare to defend Mark McGwire's wretched and reprehensible and clearly un-baseball and therefore un-American actions, let me just tell you where this argument is going, then you can calm down before reading on.

The argument is not that Mark McGwire's actions were in some way ok. The argument is that other people who have done far worse things than cheat at baseball in a way that, at the time, wasn't even necessarily considered cheating are not about to be subjected to a life of misery in the same way that Mark McGwire is about to be subjected to a life of misery.

Got it? Ok. So, we can discuss now.

Right on. So I feel really badly for the guy. Because, at base, I think what happened is that the guy made a bad decision. And then that bad decision got away from him in a way that he couldn't get out from under, and before he knew it, it was easier to just hide in the bad decision than stop the bad decision. And frankly, I'd be surprised if anybody I know hasn't experienced that - it's just that we haven't experienced it on a massive world stage with media in our face and the expectation of a nation and its national past time on our steroid enhanced shoulders.

I choose to believe that when Mark McGwire started using steroids it was because he was trying to extend the lifespan of his career. I choose to believe this for two reasons. Firstly, because it's far less absurd than to believe that when Mark McGwire started using steroids he was hatching a master plan to become a home run king and the icon of baseball (though ironically he will be an icon regardless).

Secondly, because the desire to extend your career when you're a professional athlete makes perfectly good sense. If you are an MLB player (or for that matter and NFL player, an NHL player, an NBA player or any other professional athlete), what that means is that for your entire life, every waking minute, you have been defined by your sport. You have been made to understand that you are valuable because of your talent, and most likely question your value (or lack there of) when that begins to wane. Your schedule, your life, your decisions, your expectations and the expectations of those around you? All driven by your talent and your skill in your sport. When you see that starting to slip away, imagine the fear that would begin to wrench in your gut. Until your mid thirties (if you're lucky), you have known who you are and what you're supposed to do. And suddenly, that's about to disappear. In fact, the short lived ESPN soap opera Playmakers handled this topic quite well, though that is not why you should watch Playmakers.¹ And if you thought you could extend that by even a year or two, wouldn't you try to do that?

So I think Mark McGwire did that. And it didn't really work, and so he kept going. Because he was hoping it would. And he just wanted a few more years before everything he'd always believed that he was went away.

And then they started working. And suddenly he was a hero. And not just a hero, a hero that the MLB needed to save the sport. To save America's sport. And as the steroids kicked in, and he began to realize that they were kicking in and changing him, I believe there had to be a part of his brain, somewhere, that knew something wasn't right. But the world was watching now. What would you do? Would you have the strength to stop? When all of America was telling you that you could be a hero, not just for a season, but forever in the history of baseball because it was you and your amazing home run streak that was saving the sport in one of its darkest hours, would you have the strength stop? When the career, and the only thing that you knew as a self definition, wasn't just finding a way to last a few more years but was flourishing in a way you barely remembered, would you have the strength to stop? And when it wasn't about you any more, when it was about the fans and the media and the sport, would you have the strength to stop? I doubt that you would. And we are all good people. But I doubt that if we put ourselves in that spot -- having gone from the moment of almost losing everything we had ever known about ourselves and what makes us special to being, once again, special -- I doubt that we would know how to make ourselves stop.

I think Mark McGwire made a bad decision, and unfortunately it got away from him and he couldn't get out from under it. We all talk about how he should have been man enough to come clean earlier, but we don't know how hard that would have been. We're quick to say he was weak. But our lives aren't his life. Is it ultimately reprehensible? Yes. There is no argument there. Is it, however, understandable how it could have grown into something he couldn't escape? That's also a yes if you ask me.

And here's the thing, he's going to be punished. And I don't just mean because he won't ever get into the hall of fame.

For a moment in time, Mark McGwire was the man who saved baseball. Can you imagine what that felt like? Even if somewhere in his heart he knew it wasn't entirely fair, he was still the man who saved baseball. The man who made the home run record history. Not even Bonds has that. During Bonds' run, he was plagued by the steroid issue and the "Wow, that guy is an ass" issue. But Mark McGwire? He was a hero. He was an American hero, because he was a baseball hero.

He was an icon.

He'll be an icon as well. In the history of baseball, he'll be the man with whom it all started. The man who tainted the home run records and the sport with steroids. In some ways, if he'd never come forward, Bonds would own that. And while Mark McGwire would have known in his heart that he wasn't the hero everybody made him out to be, he wouldn't be the villain either. I, personally, don't think there's any value in his current coming clean. We were all ready to put the issue behind us. Bonds was our villain, and, frankly, that guy probably deserves it. McGwire could have faded away in silence. He didn't, and worse than taking away a moment in baseball during that summer home run race that we all look to as "what that sport should be like", he's also now publicly branded himself as quite the liar. He's killed a hero, a hero that we were willing to complacently believe in against all evidence, and that hero was himself.

I believe that it is entirely possible that Mark McGwire may never experience a truly happy day again in his life. I believe that he will be treated as the man who ruined baseball, despite the fact that we're the ones who begged him to be the man who saved baseball, no matter what it took. I believe he will hate himself and what he's become for the rest of his life. I believe that you see that in his eyes when you look at his interview. And maybe I'm a sucker. Maybe this move is all really just about trying to get in the hall of fame. But I believe he knows he's never getting in there. I believe this confession is because things that grow inside you can sometimes get too big to stay inside of you. They can crush you from the inside out. He could have stayed quiet. And Bonds would be the villain. And we were ready to forget McGwire's possible transgression. Now we won't. I believe Mark McGwire may never experience a truly happy day again.

And I wonder if that's fair?

The guy cheated at baseball. Seriously, that's all he did. He cheated at baseball. There are people in the world who have ruined people financially, who have committed crimes, who have exploited women and children, who have taken advantage of those less smart, who have acted not just selfishly but maliciously towards others. People who have started wars. People who have committed genocides. People who have taken more from the world than they put back in. People who are cruel. People who have destroyed other people's lives through apathy and violence and selfishness and mis-used power. And all of these people, or at least many of them, will spend many if not all of their remaining days experiencing happiness. None of them, even the worst of them, are about to be crowned America's Anti-Christ the way Mark McGwire is going to be. And there's something wrong there. That as a nation, we care more about making sure that a man who cheated at baseball suffers more than, say, a politician who passes legislation that he knows to be detrimental to children because his campaign fund contributors are in favor of the financial benefits of that legislation. Or human traffickers. Why don't we want to post the pictures of human slave traffickers up and make them feel our hatred and resentment and disappointment for decades? But it seems we may have reserved that privilege for a baseball player.

I'm not sure, in the end, if the punishment will fit the crime. Hitler was possibly the worst human to ever exist on the planet. Chances are that when he shot himself, he actually felt pretty good about having "cleansed" the earth. Should Mark McGwire get lined up for 30 years of public hatred because he cheated at baseball? Does something seem unbalanced here?

But I suppose the world is what the world is. And I should know that. It just seems like Mark McGwire was not the only player in the quest to make Mark McGwire a hero. American baseball fans as a collective played a part in that. And heroes always eventually fall.

But Mark, if you're out there any where, I hope one day not long from now you hit a baseball off a Louisville Slugger in a quiet park somewhere and remember a time before all of this. I really do.

Footnote:
¹The reason that you should watch Playmakers is because there is also a storyline about a secretly gay football player and, in one scene, the secretly gay football player's lover rushes onto the football field DURING PRACTICE and yells "IF YOU THINK HE HAS SOFT HANDS ON THE FIELD, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM IN BED!!!!" I didn't make that up. If you don't believe me, I own the dvds and you can borrow them.

 

Five Things I Have Opinions On. That is all.

1. American Idol: Who even cares who won? Seriously. The finale was the best two hours of TV I've seen in a long time. Cyndi Lauper played the dulcimer! Kiss with Lambert in full Kiss attire other than makeup! Lionel-freakin'-Richie! BEP doing a live version of "Boom Boom Pow" that is SO MUCH BETTER than the recorded version. Norman Gentle! They'll both be stars. That finale though? Worth all of the approximately 46 hours of my life (almost two full days people) spent watching that show this year.

2. DWTS: Listen, Gilles will have roles (I hear a rumor of an offer on "Brothers and Sisters") and, sure, he should have won. But did you really think America was going to vote for a FRENCHMAN over an AMERICAN OLYPMPIC MEDALIST? Come on. Plus, she's only 17. It means more to her.

3. SYTYCD: I laugh because I know that I have non-North Americans who check in with me here and whom, I'm sure, are all like "What is all this bizarre reality TV you all watch and why can't you just call it by the full names?" Looks like it will be a good season, but I never really like the audition shows for that show. You need the real dancing for it to count.

4. Terminator: Salvation : I honestly thought the TV show was better. If you are a nerd (raises hand) you will find this to be too much flash and not enough Terminator legend for your liking.

5. The Pens: So it will be a rematch. We'll have a goal-tending problem. Fleury is great, but he plays straight to the puck, and they shoot at lots of sharp angles. Both teams are better than they were last year. The question is - do both Malkin & Crosby stay hot, and if they do, I say Pens in 6.

 

Dear NFL: Let Me Tell You How It Is

(I'm working up to the bank system, HWP. That's a big one.)

Dear NFL,

Wow. You know what you should do? You should hire nannies for your players as part of their compensation. I LOVE the NFL, and even I am getting sick of this nonsense. When even Brett Favre acted like a child, you really have to examine what you're letting your players get away with.

May I remind you that when the NBA became a league of criminals and thugs, people stopped caring. There was financial evidence of it. Then you made them wear suits, which was the lamest patch job I've ever seen. It took a long time for a good kid from Cleveland to start to repair the damage, but then Kevin Garnett spoke after winning the championship and we all became convinced that they were all crazy again. Here's the video. We were just laughing at it in the office the other day. We love how he keeps bumping into Suzy Kolber.



Anything is possible! Shout out to everybody! Top of the world!

Anyway, here is a list of things I'm sick of hearing about:

Jay Cutler - whiny, baby, and somebody should tell him that he's just an employee. And the fact that this was even allowed to be a media show and somebody from the league didn't get him and his "people" shut up is embarrassing.

Michael Vick - ARE WE EVEN SERIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT WHAT TEAM MIGHT TAKE MICHAEL VICK AFTER HE GETS OUT OF PRISON? I know, it's standard operating procedure in your league to take the criminals back into the fold. Maybe it's time to stop this. Maybe the reason kids don't fear acting like criminals is that they see you constantly forgiving them. Maybe there are a lot of quarterbacks out there and you don't need this one just to sell novelty tickets.

T.O. - Okay, that's a lie. You can run all of the stories you want about T.O. not showing up for conditioning training and creating drama. Wanna know why? Because he's not committing crimes and with him you're getting exactly what you know you'll get. And because I'm partial.

Donte Whitner, Leon Hall, etc.: - I just, I don't understand why you don't seem to care how many of your players are getting arrested for DUIs, violence, riots. There are SO MANY people who would play in the NFL. Cut them loose after they show you they can't act like reasonable adults (by which I mean everybody gets one screw up, sort of) and get new talent.

Ray Lewis: I just threw this in here because it infuriates me so greatly that he's become a hero of the NFL.

Plax: He's a moron. Why are we still discussing this? Topic closed.

Possible Labor Stoppage: This makes my blood boil. I don't want to hear one more headline about the union having an issue with salary capping. Make the cap higher if it makes financial sense, but salary capping is what's made your league financially viable because it's made it interesting. See MLB as an example of how people stop caring when competing becomes about the luck of the draft. Whiny.

It's like the NFL headlines page of ESPN reads more like the NY Post gossip section these days. So let me tell you how this needs to go:

1. You reign your players in. Where I work, if I were to say, get arrested, there are some pretty clearly documented procedures and punishments. There's no reason you can't have those. And if they're applied to everybody, every time, we can't be complaining that there's preferential treatment, or some teams are softer than others.

2. Manage your players' PR people: I'm not allowed to go out in the world and say whatever I want about my bosses in public forums WHILE NEGOTIATIONS ARE STILL GOING ON NOLESS. Your people shouldn't be able to either. It's not unreasonable that part of people's contractual obligations involve shutting the hell up about internal operations. My god.

3. Get rid of Dan Snyder: Just because. What a tool.

4. Don't put known criminals in United Way ads: I mean, seriously. I saw one with Ray Lewis last season. Are you kidding me?

5. Stop acting like you have no social responsibility: Because you do. Successful organizations care about the character of their employees as much as their talent. See "banking industry" as an example of what happens when you stop caring about character. You don't want to end up like that, do you?

I'm fixing shit for everybody this week. It's what I do.

love,
jocelyn

 

Monday Fiver! Kelly Clarkson!

There will be updates this week. But let's start out with a fiver. Unfortunately for you though, I am not so much bringing the funny this week as I am bringing the reflective. I think we'll be back to the funny next week because I'm going out a lot this week. It's hard to be funny when you're sitting in your joint with your friends and a two-four (which is what the Canadians call a twenty-four pack of beer) watching basketball. That doesn't bring the funny, and I know it.

1. Shut the hell up. I love the new Kelly Clarkson album. It's the only thing I've played this week. Period. That's not true. I'm still playing Antony and the Johnsons at night, but Kelly is on at work and at the gym and while I'm getting ready in the morning. I'm even singing along to "I Do Not Hook Up", and we all know nobody will take that seriously coming from me.



2. Shut the hell up, part deux. I don't want to hear about the Panthers. Don't want to hear it. Yes, I'm bummed. But no, they did not deserve to win. They *should* have won by about 15, but sloppy, lazy play. I was upset. I actually bailed on plans after the game because I was that upset. I guess that leaves me UConn and Nova, because I really want a Big East win.

3. Dollhouse: Sure, I'll agree that it's starting to feel more like a Joss Whedon show. And I'll even admit that the plot it starting to drag me in. I might say that an episode where a hidden drug causes everybody to go oogly googly and act strange rings a little true of Joss pulling out an old Joss trick, but whatever. I'm still underwhelmed. I actually fast forwarded through parts this week. That's not right.

4. Literary Break Down: So, I finished American Pastoral the other week. I can see why Trick loved it and A-Train did not, because they both see the world in very different ways. I very much had both experiences. There's a section in the middle that felt, to steal from Simon Cowel, a bit indulgent and made me ponder quitting. But the final two sections of the book were worth working through it. It does cause me pause to think about family constructs and how the very fact that a unit is a family can cause a person to interpret things entirely differently from an individual than they would if that person or situation existed outside of their family. We are both more forgiving and more demanding of our families, are we not? But also, I don't know. I think there is a generational element to that novel. A datedness because so much of the surface of the story is about the idea that there can be an ideal. That there is a paradise that can be lost. I'm just not sure most of my generation believes that. I mean, we believe we can find the right person, raise children, be satisfied, but I'm not sure we believe in the American Dream so much any more. So because of that, there are parts of this book that may not resonate as strongly as they once would have. A part of you says, "Well OF COURSE it all fell apart on you. What else were you expecting?" I think that the naive nature of the The Swede that once probably endeared readers to him maybe is now more of a reason to feel as though perhaps he got a bit of what he deserved. I'm trying to dig up somebody 15 years older than I am who read this book to ask. Holler if you know somebody.

I've moved on to Michael Ondaatje, which is pretty much like reading poetry in prose form. After the harsh and glaring prose of Roth, it's like taking a bubble bath in soft words.

5. I miss my girlfriends: That, I've realized, is what I'm missing the most from Vegas. And not just my Vegas girlies, but also my L.A. girlies who visited lots and being able to get to Denver in an hour flight where K-Yo and Princess D are. I miss pictures of us acting stupid and Thursday pottery painting and...I think I'm going to have to visit sooner rather than later. There is, I'm starting to realize, a very big difference between a Canadian girl and an American girl, and someday I may be brave enough to tell you what it is. In the meantime, I'm listening to that Tom Petty song a lot.

 

We Need to Talk About Some Things: An Early Week Fiver

We need to discuss some things. Some of them important, some of them not.

1. Why aren't you updating your blog, Jocelyn? Listen, you should expect that for the next several months, at best, I'm checking in once or twice a week. There's a lot going on that some of you know about and some of you don't. Huge professional opportunity that I don't want to miss or under-perform at. New developments with the boy on the scene that change the whole game. Things in real life to focus on, and some of them, for various reasons, while they would be great storytelling, must be left off of the blog. I'm probably setting something up privately somewhere for some of that, but here will be sparse for some time to come. I'm sure I'll be back in full swing by the holidays, because I would not want you to miss a single holiday retardedness story.

2. Thing Number One That I Hate Myself for Loving: The New 90210. Okay, listen. I don't pretend for a moment that it compares to the original, and I'm not even sure I'll care about it for the entire season. Mostly, I don't think that it will hold up because none of the actors they've hired have 1/3 of the charisma of a Jason Priestly or a Luke Perry or a Tori Spelling (say what you want, when she was on screen you couldn't take your eyes off of her). But there were some freakingly brilliant things about the first episode.

a. The replacement cast in general: It is kind of neat how every original cast member has a more or less replacement in this cast. The siblings who move, the journalism geek (though this time it's a man), the troubled rebel, the troubled rich girl, the wanna-be celeb. I appreciate the theme on the original variation, and yes, I just said that about 90201.

b. Erin Silver: Remember when Kelly Taylor's mom and David Silver's dad had a baby in season three or four and named her Erin? She's now a character on the new show. She calls her self Sliver and wears dark eyeliner and has a video blog. You see, because the video blog is the replacement for the morning radio show. Awesomeness.

c. The shout-out to Andrea Zuckerman: Possibly the best moment of the show, when the morning tv news anchor for the high school comes on and introduces herself as Andrea Zuckerman Garcia and then the show cuts to a teacher in a classroom who looks up at the tv and says, "How old is that girl anyway? Like 30?" This is all hysterical if you watched the original and know that Andrea Zuckerman was a Jewish girl played by a Latina girl/woman who was already 30 years old when she got cast on the show.

d. The shout out to Dylan: At the end of the show, the "troubled rebel" character who will replace Dylan emerges from the ocean wearing a wetsuit and carrying at surfboard just like Dylan did in the first episode. It was hot. Inappropriately hot.

e. Oral sex: We never had implied or obvious oral sex in the original.

f. Jennie Garth & Shannen Dougherty: Thank you, ladies, for making this special.

The only place the show entirely failed, in my mind, was in the casting of the parents. One of the things that worked so well in the original is that the parents looked like parents, and like parents who might not fit in so well in LA. I love Lori Loughlin and I LOVE Rob Estes (remember Silk Stalkings of late eighties fame?). LOVE THEM. But nobody has ever had parents that are that hot, ever, in the history of parents. EVER. Kelly's mom wasn't hot. Dylan's parents were old hippies. And for sure, Carol and Jim Walsh were not hot. I don't like the hot parents. That is all.

3. Thing Number 2 That I Hate Myself for Loving: The NKOTB & Ne-Yo Single: So. Brilliant. Let's list the ways and reasons that I love and can't stop listening to and watching the video for this song.

a. It's a mother-fucking colaboration between the New Kids on the Block and Ne-Yo. Right there, that should be enough for you.

b. My boyfriend Joey Mac is on lead vocals.



c. The video takes place in Jet, which is just not-hot enough to be the landscape for a NKOTB vidow.

d. These are the lyrics:
Pretty mama if you're single...single
You don't gotta be alone tonight
So while the dj play this single...single
Just pretend that I'm your man tonight
So you don't gotta be alone
Baby ill be your boyfriend
Be your boyfriend til the song goes off (Mmmm)

BRILLIANT.

4. NFL: Is finally back. The public was on the Lions today. The public was way wrong on that one. My Steelers looked like the best team ever to take the field. I mean, it was against the Texans, and at home. But I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it because I made this unfortunate bet that I could imagine regretting. I bet $50 that the Steelers would have a winning record at the bye week (which for them is week six), but I gave my opponent 3-1 odds on it. So if they can't eek out 3-2, I'm out $150. I love my Steelers. There's turmoil in Steeltown though, and I may be out some cash.

Also, that Jets/Miami game was very exciting to watch. I still don't like it though.

5. The Last King of Scotland: Briefly, that movie is disturbing, and it leaves you feeling unwell at the end, and it doesn't even really begin to touch on how horrible and sick and twisted Amin was. If you're going to watch the movie, be mentally prepared.

 

Madrid Day Four: We Keep It Real With the Re-Al

My powers of the pun are amazing, yo.

You know what's crazy? As I sit down to write this, I was about to say that during the day on day four, it wasn't so much exciting for me because I had to hang in the hotel and work. But then I remembered brunch.

Firstly, because I know you will say "What the hell? You went to Spain and worked?" -- that is just how it goes. As Deanna said it, "If my job allowed me to make the money you make to travel the world like you do, I would let it own me, too." That said, the fact that my job owns me right now is a topic for another blog entry at another time.

Anyway, I had forgotten about brunch. Yes, brunch. Which in Spain happens at 1:00pm. Because they do not eat breakfast at inhumane morning hours like we do. They eat it at what we would call brunch time and then they have brunch at the more reasonable time of 1:00pm.

We had brunch at the Sunday opera brunch at the Westin Palace where Halff was staying. This is brunch (for rich folk) served in a glamorous setting (for rich folk) with paella and brunch tapas and endless desserts (for rich folk) and champagne (for rich folk) and people singing opera to entertain you (because as rich folk and people acting like we're rich folk, that's what we want). It is SO GOOD. There is salmon mousse. You know how I feel about salmon mousse. Anyway, we enjoy our beautiful brunch.

And then the rest of the day happens, in which I work.

So, the plans for the evening are to go and see the Real Madrid ... FROM THE THIRD ROW. Let me just say, firstly, big ups to the concierge at the Westin Palace. The concierge (and staff there) completely delivered on our request for Real Madrid tickets. They were third row tickets, and though the were black market, the mark-up wasn't as bad as you may expect. And, also, the concierges at the Westin Palace LOVED Larry Halff. They knew who he was and where his room was without a bat of an eye. He's all VIP.

You know, as an interlude, there was some discussion when I got back about how bougie this trip was. Even the cheaper place where the girls and I stayed was still a really NICE place. And we didn't do cheap in any way at any point. I mean, we had third row Real tickets and went to nice places. Anyway, it's true that, in some ways, when you travel like that, you miss out on parts of the story where you would pick up travelers or get into screwy "I have no money for a train ticket" situations. But sometimes it's just nice to travel nicely. We traveled nicely in Africa. We have also taken trips where we stay in $10 a night hostels.

So, the other month I was talking to a nephew of a friend who is about to graduate college, and he's thinking of taking a year off and traveling - poor style. And his sister had told him not to do that. She had instead told him to go work on Wall Street and make a bunch of money and then travel - rich style - when he was older. And he asked me what I thought he should do.

And I told him that he should do both. Because I wouldn't trade either experience. I wouldn't trade all of the ten dollar hostels and hustling to get a train ticket and scrounging for food and camping out in a park full of gypsies. I'd still do it today. But don't kid yourself. There's also something to be said for four star meals and third tow tickets to premier sporting events and your very own private room in a nice hotel. So that's my advice. You need to do both. Staying in the nicest hotels and doing the nicest things isn't "traveling." It's vacationing. And vacationing is still wonderful. It's still educational, and as Africa and Spain proved, you can vacation and still come back full of amazing experiences and stories. And it's nice to have nice things. That is all.

Anyway, so the plan was to meet up for one last early evening of sangria at the bar in the Vincci Soho. And that was lovely. And I decided to Euro-Trash it up for the night and tuck my jeans into my boots. And people were horrified. And Lisa gave me a beautiful bowl from Uganda for my birthday. And I loved it, but she loses because Larry got me a third row ticket to see the Real-Madrid. And Deanna bought me my favorite face product from Denver and gave me the most awesome eighties mix dvd ever. And I loved it, but she, too, loses because Larry got me third row tickets to the Real Madrid. And I'm sure that I love whatever you sent me, too. But you lose, and Larry wins.



Yes, Candy Woo, Halff is Hot. Just look at him!

After sangria, we head out into the night and to the stadium, and we enjoy the energy, and then we go to our seats. And they are AMAZING. And even if you're not a soccer fan, live soccer is unbelievable, especially when you're practically on the field. And I think it meant the most to me of anybody there, but it was very religious. And no, I'm not exaggerating, so shut up.





And then our last night in Madrid. Tear. We have dinner at Botin. We in fact have the roasted suckling pig that you may have seen on the food network. And many, many tapas. And sangria. And the dining room is like a cave. And we're happy. And there are four guitar players hiding in the hallway on the way to the restroom. And when we walk outside to walk home, it's raining for the first time on the trip, but somehow it feels perfect and cool, like it's waking me up for a whole new year.

That's right, I went all deep on you after four entries about being drunk. But I am who I am.

It was a perfect birthday. It really, really was. I couldn't have asked for more. I mean, that's not true either because I am who I am and it's my nature to always ask for more. But if I'm working on being the person that I wanted to be at 34, then I know that you take what's good as it is. And this was good. Very, very, good.


Thank you, Deanna.


Thank you, Lisa.


Thank you, Larry.


Thank you, Spain.

 

U-N-L-V: UNLV GO FIGHT WIN

Firslty, you know you live in Vegas when at 9:30pm you're laying in bed watching Melrose Place and updating your blog because your dinner reservation isn't even until 1:00am on Sunday morning. What is wrong with this city?

Anyway, the outcome of the UNLV game was sad, but the experience of watching it at B-Dubs was not. We got there at 2:30pm for a 7:00pm game. When we got there, we looked all serious and work-like. Like this (click 'em to see 'em bigger):



Then the following two things happened:



And suddenly the pictures ended up looking like this:







My favorite, of course, is the Bondo high five shot. So.drunk.

And also, this is my new boyfriend. Enjoy. I know I did.

 

Super Bowl Hangover

I have one.

I won almost $200 playing blackjack the night before. Since EVERYBODY was betting the first half under, I rolled half of that into unders on the game. Then I watched the first play of the game get run back for a touchdown. And then I ordered a drink. But I still ended up winning for the weekend overall and Charms94 and I went to Nobu for dinner on that.

Maybe I have a "really, really good weekend hangover." I spent Thursday night sleeping peacefully. On Friday we had dinner at the Burger Bar and then watched Little Miss Sunshine again on dvd. On Saturday, we headed up to Mesquite (It's Mesquite!) for dinner with the Pregame Team, craps and blackjack. And my favorite hotel rooms with the tacky, dirty mirrors on the wall. And ToniK beat Charms94 at Ms. Pac-Man. And I will bring that up at every opportunity.

And Sunday was the Super Bowl. And there was a Pregame event that I had to work at. Normally, at a Pregame event, men buy me shots and we joke about sports. At this event, I explained condoms to octogenarians and at one point hit on a paraplegic. It's Mesquite!

Congratulations, Peyton.

Today, I woke up and NFL season was over. I spent three months getting ready for NFL season and then six months living and breathing that season. I feel a little empty today. Honestly. How weird is that?