I know, you hear me bitch a lot about Canada. Ok, specifically about French Canada. However, I will admit when they have us beat. Wanna know where they have us beat (and by "us", I mean Americans)? Healthy eating and controlling obesity.
Almost every Canadian who has had the balls to broach this subject with me (and given their dislike of Americans around here, most of them don't have a problem broaching it, and it sounds like this, "I was surprised to hear that you're American because you're not fat."), approach our eating habits with a mix of disgust and awe ("Man, I did love it when I was living in the States and every half block on my drive home I could pull over for fries. That was sweeeet.").
Sometimes, when you're discussing it with somebody who's not just looking for a reason to point out America's inferiority, they'll actually make good points, like "Well, fast food is so much more a part of your culture - it's where you go to hang out with your friends" or "Yeah, I noticed when I was down there that even the grocery stores down there were different. There were aisles and aisles of chips and cookies and candies. You just can't even buy that much bad food up here." And, observationally, as Wal-Mart becomes the place more and more people buy their food, taht gets worse. Because that's about profit, right?
Ok, here's the thing. The US annual obesity rates just got released. THERE IS ONLY ONE STATE IN THE UNION WHERE 20% OF THE POPULATION OR LESS IS NOT CLINICALLY OBESE. Congratulations to you, Colorado. Reason #442 why you're awesome. Deep south and West Virginia? OVER 30% OBESITY RATES. And most of the country is well over 25%. Here's the breakdown.
That's not okay.
The killer is, this is not that hard to fix. Get up off the couch. Cook better food, at home. Make your kids be active, because that's the fastest growing segment. In 23 States, people are MORE obese this year and last year. NOBODY is less obese than they were last year. Is this going to be like the economy? We wait until it completely crashes on us before we do anything?
I know we all hate socialism, but maybe making it harder for McDonald's to own every street corner isn't the worst thing in the world.
I've been having a hard time blogging lately because, you know, dating a lot. And it's sometimes hard to write about people when you're still figuring out what space they're going to occupy - or not occupy - in your life. So many of the stories that would be the best stories are going on outside of this blog space. But probably what will happen is that in six or eight months or so they'll all make their way here when whatever damage is going to get inflicted is already done and over.
I will say that one very sweet boy bought me these this week, and my little heart melted. And then I came home and stamped all over my home with them. Butterflies! Hearts! Smiles~
Anyway, a general state of the state, since we haven't had one of those for a while. Montreal is growing on me, but we all figured it would once the snow melted. I've been here long enough to have a social life now, which is both good and bad because there were not one but two work days this week where I showed up in the morning feeling as though I'd been hit by a truck from too much "fun time" the night before. At the end of the week this week though, I realized that I was finally genuinely happy here. So that's good.
I don't think that Adam will win American Idol. I think it will be a shocking elimination and Gokey will take the crown. And also quickly have an endorsement deal with an eyeglass retailer.
I am cheering for the Penguins every day with all my heart. But I may or may not have bought some Habs gear for wearing during game watching with friends here. However, if it came down to a Habs/Pens series, I would be firmly in my Pens sweater. Which, by the way, I wore to the Pens/Habs game at the end of the regular season here...and THREE PEOPLE threw beer at me. I like to think I had the last laugh because those were $14 beers AND my team won, but nonetheless. On the other hand, neither team may make it out of this round, so that clothing may just get nicely packed up soon. And I almost refuse to get excited about the Sharks. They're playoff chokers and we all know it. And also, I have to watch about 75% of all my NHL playoff coverage in French. I know.
I'm headed to Bloomington & Kentucky this week for Rox's wedding, and also to spend time with Catwoman, and while I'm at it to see a few IU friends, and also to buy IU gear, and also to hit up Duty Free on the way back into Canada because getting a bottle of Patron here is like trying to find the holy grail. These people confuse me. Embarrassingly enough, my request of Catwoman was that we go to Applebees or "something equally bad and American where the portions are designed for keeping us fat and the booze is served out of plastic glasses the size of a milk jug." I miss the gluttony of the States some days.
Work is awesomeness. I would like it if it were just slightly less busy in its awesomeness, but I'll take it. I don't have *real* vacation planned until the fall, so it's pretty much a long haul with some breaks for some shorter trips. I come home tired many nights. Some people claim this is because I also go out many nights after work. Draw your own conclusions.
Rooney is good. I still think that I need to get him a little friend, but we just went through the big "spring shed", so I'm not that inspired about increased cat clean up right now. He says "hi." More specifically, he says "bonjour" since cats, I'm told, are partial to French.
Yeah, so, that's about it, I think. You know, generally if you look back at this blog, story telling really starts in the spring anyway. Which is good. Because the truth be told I'm feeling itchy. A little like busting out. A little like it's time to start the party for the year.
Ohmygod I didn't know I could work this hard. Can somebody find me an employee?
UFC on April 18th in Montreal! I'm so excited because my people will be here for that! And we will be ridiculous..
Heading to Louisville and Bloomington in April! THOSE stories will be crazy.
Missing Vegas like CRAZY. But there's an Asian Party Posse party there in June that I'm headed to and already stoked for. And I will follow that up with my non-Asian Vegas party posse girls.
So, fun times. Big things coming. Just...not right this very day. I need sleep.
Oh, I know, who wants to read yet another meandering reflection on the year gone, the year coming?
Suckers. You're still reading.
Honestly? I don't remember much of 2008. I think that's just because, as usual, New Year's hits during the busiest time of my work season and I tend to be in a cluster. Also, as some of you know, I've been living with 99.9% of everything I own in a storage unit in Vegas for three months now, which has turned me into a cluster as well. I'm a nester. I mean, sure, I move a lot. but I move with my stuff. I miss my stuff. Camping is only fun for limited amounts of time. I have worn the same four pairs of jeans so many times that I named them. Today, Lucy is hugging my ass.
But the reality is that I just re-read my section of the holiday letter, and 2008 was pretty much all I could have hoped for. I traveled to lots of places, I got a great new job, I got to relocate, which we all know I love to do every five or so years. I spent a lot of time with my family and friends. I have memories beyond memories. I'm sure when I have a quiet time in mid-February to really sit on my couch and reflect, it will go down as a banner year.
I guess if I could improve two things, they would be: a. It wasn't a creatively productive year. I didn't write or paint or sew all that much. Of course, I spent 3 months with none of my stuff, and that kills your expressive urge. And I feel like I lost my writing mojo. Words are harder right now. I'm hoping that resolves. I'm also hoping it's not a side effect of winter, which tends to depress me.
b. I dated a lot, but I also wasted way too much energy on a boy who I probably could have figured out was way wrong for me as early as March. I need to return to the good old days of cut and run, or as Hott Scott would say, "David Koreshing it at the first moment." That's funny if you were around for the original conversation.
I think what I'm really left with at the end of the year is an affirmation of my belief that the only thing that will create positive change in your life is YOU creating positive change (cue Oprah theme music). The only thing that got me out of a ciruclar and ultimately unsatisfiying set up in Vegas (though you know I miss a lot of things and people A LOT, but it was time to grow out), was jumping off a cliff and quitting my high-paying job with no net beneath me. When I did that, the universe gave me everything I wanted to replace it with. And I think of people I know who did similar things, and the same is true. Sure, it's hard. I've cried a ton in the last three months. But staying in a situation that's leaving you feeling unfulfilled is not the way to get fulfilled.
Jump in the pool. It's better than watching the rest of the world swim, even if the shock is cold.
Anyway, so. 2009.
There are already a ton of things I'm looking forward to, and that's in addition to some possible travel plans. In September, I'm officiating a wedding. I got new dining room chairs, which will make me happy. I'm seeing Yo-Yo Ma. A few sweet mamas are having babies. I've been promised a watershed of houseguests this summer. Good times.
It's going to make for a less exciting holiday letter, but I'm determined to travel a little less (just for one year) and instead pay off some of my massive relocation bills, (Hi Mom!). On the other hand, I get a pay raise in the spring, so that idea may go right out of the door.
I am absolutely, without a doubt, finally hit my run-distance-time target. I don't know anybody here yet, there's no reason not to focus on that.
I'm going to try lesbianism again. No, joking. But I thought the entry was getting boring. Then again, you never know.
There are certain years in your life where you just have to accept that you're in transition and the normal pace of the party is interuppted. I think this will be one of those years. I'm okay with that. I guess.
Feel free to refer to this post if it doesn't end up that way.
Here is the short version of the story. Upon returning from Mongolia, I was tired and jet-lagged for days. In this state, I somehow got it in my head that a delightful idea would be to meet up with my cousin Di and my Aunt Linda and Uncle Dan in Ohio so we could all go out to dinner. This involved a four hour road trip, during which I didn't sleep and instead talked to my mom. Followed by no nap time before dinner because I was so excited to see everybody. At dinner, again, tired and jet-lagged. I accidentally got up and left my purse on the back of the chair. And when I returned, it wasn't there. Now, by the way, this is not at a divey restaurant. It's at a Bravo Italiano Cucina. It's like an upper-middle class chain Italian place where one would expect one's server to put ones purse in lost and found if it was discovered hanging on the back of the chair unattended for any period of time. I'm just saying. I'm also saying, since I canceled the cards immediately and filled out all the necessary paper work to avoid identity theft on my id, what the thief actually netted was:
- $18 in cash - One BEAUTIFUL tube of Coco by Courtney Cox lipstick - One cool looking Puma purse
I hope it was a girl thief.
Anyway, the point of the story is this. Also in my purse at that time, since I was traveling just before going to dinner, were all of the following:
- My Amex - My ATM card - My passport - My driver's license - My social security card
I'm sure, if you are American, you see the conundrum here. You need a social security card to replace almost any form of photo id. However, you need photo id to replace your social security card. Ta da! Welcome to the next two weeks of my life. And here are three reasons not to lose your purse with ALL of your ID in it, and one reason that you should.
1. Reason #1: You may end up having to obtain a copy of your birth certificate. Oh, it's possible, I'm sure, that some of you are organized enough that you have a copy of your birth certificate with your "important papers" for events just like this. Not so if you are me, and you have lost no less than three copies of your birth certificate during your adult life. You can order a copy of your birth certificate online. Here's the catch. You can ONLY order it using a credit card registered to YOUR name. You may note above that both of my credit cards were in my stolen purse. Now, I did happen to dig up a Party Planning Girlz credit card with my name on it. However, they will then only mail it to the billing address of that credit card. Which is not my address. It's ToniK's. And so I have to have the birth certificate FedExed to Toni's house. Except that Toni just bought a new house and hasn't changed the card over yet, so it gets FedExed to a house she doesn't even live in anymore and she has to drive out to pick up the slip. And then I have to take the slip to the UPS pick up where -- I know you see this coming -- I need photo ID in order to retrieve the document that I need in order to replace my photo ID. I will tell you that if the UPS counter worker were not a man and I were not a girl adept at looking lost, this story would come to a screeching halt right here, but fortunately I walk out with my birth certificate.
Reason #2: You're going to have to go so the Social Security Administration Not once, mind you, but you're going to have to go in there twice. You're going to have to go in to get a piece of paper that is NOT your social security card but operates EXACTLY like a social security card, and then you will have to take that piece of paper to the DMV to get a new photo ID, and then you will have to come back to the Social Security Administration in order to actually ask for your replacement social security card. And in this entire process, mind you, the birth certificate that you had to struggle to get will be looked at, barely, exactly twice.
But really, let's talk about all of the beliefs that you will have to question as you spend near seven hours in the Social Security Administration.
You will need to question your belief in your federal government's ability to budget, if ever you had a faith in your federal government's ability to budget. We are a government who, apparently, can find money to fund the most elaborate warfare machines ever. We are not, however, a federal government who can find it in the budget to provide the Social Security Administration, a place where you must fill out paperwork by default if you enter the door, a supply of ballpoint pens. I've bought ballpoint pens for swag before. They cost about 14 cents. On a government contract, probably less. Come on now. If the post office is smart enough to figure out that if you tie them to the desk, not as many get stolen, isn't the Social Security Administration?
You will need to question your belief in selective breeding, that is if your belief was not in selective breeding or licenses to reproduce or forced sterilization. If you thought that all of that was a good idea to begin with, then you will only have those thoughts confirmed. Now, when first I said that, Franki told me to stop being a jerk and that not everybody was as fortunate as I am. But it's not about that. If you cannot afford to have children, then you shouldn't keep having them. If having five children means that none of them get to shower and wear shoes, you should go to the free clinic. If you are such a bad parent that you will feed a three year old a SUPER SIZED portion of Coke and then glare at anybody who finds the child's sugar intoxicated shoeless running through the Social Security Administration distasteful rather than cute, you should not be allowed to, at a minimum, select the food for your own children. If you are going to reprimand your child BECAUSE they spoke English, then that's a problem, because that's the language we use in schools in America. And if you're going to call me a skinny, white bitch in Spanish because I got up and moved away from your smelly, shoeless, sugar-intoxicated child because he was grabbing at my phone and you refused to even tell him not to and then assume that I don't speak enough Spanish to know what you mean, then you need to wonder where your kid is learning his manners from. And probably take a parenting class. And put down your own super sized Coke and get a bottle of water. That's all. And that comment about the use of Spanish does not limit this attitude to anybody of any particular race, because I've had that same reaction to white folk sitting around my mom's dining room table at various holidays.
You will question your belief that there is a God. You will. This will happen around hour five when your phone battery is starting to die and the man sitting next to you cannot healthily fit into one seat and is uncomfortably mushed up against your bare thigh (though in future visits you will know that you want to be fully covered in all possible capacities to visit the Social Security Administration) and they are on number 284 and you are number 336 even though you got there at 8:30am and there are THREE people working behind the TWENTY possible counters and you think that this must be a cruel joke or one of those MTV reality shows where they try to make you crazy and time how long it takes you to break down, except that FIVE HOURS of watching somebody slowly fall apart in the Social Security Administration isn't compelling TV. And finally, you will get to the window, where your transaction will take five minutes and you will leave knowing that you're going to have to come back and do ALL OF THIS over again the next day after you get your photo ID.
Reason #3: If you have to replace your license in a hurry, you may not look like you were hoping to look in it. The first thing that I did when I became unemployed was dye my hair pink because there are very, very few times in your adult life when you can get away with having pink hair. It's since faded to a strange combination of orange, brown and blonde, but at this time, it was at the height of pink. And so, for the next five years until my driver's license expires, I'll have pink hair every time I get ID'd.
And let's not even get into my passport.
But you know what? Here's a reason, and a good one, to actually lose all of your ID.
Reason #1: You will blow through airport security lines in record time. I'm not joking, and I didn't even have my birth certificate. I had NOTHING. No proof of anything except my word that I was who I said I was. I repeat, NOTHING. I called the airline, who said, "Oh, that's no problem. Just so up a little early for some extra security."
Wanna know what extra security is? It's not opening and checking my bags! They went right through like nothing was amiss. It's taking me DIRECTLY to the front of the security line, where some guy tells me I have on a cool t-shirt and then proceeds to call some federal database and ask me the three following questions: What city was I born in? What's my social security number? What type of vehicle is registered to me.
WANNA KNOW THREE PIECES OF INFORMATION I COULD FIND IN TWO SECONDS IF I HAD STOLEN SOMEBODY'S IDENTITY?
Exactly. Perhaps my concerns should extend beyond no ball point pens at the Social Security Administration.
Everything is replaced. The world returns to normal. But my belief system? In question.
There's a lot going on right now. But, this week: - We wrap up Mongolia - You finally get to hear about Kim's Birthday - The long-awaited story of the drama of losing ALL of my photo IDs AND my social security card - Pennsylvania recap
You can amuse yourself until then with a handful of pictures from Saturday in The Strip District in Pittsburgh.
I really want to write about the Tater Tot and Dee's birthday, but I'm just brain dead after day three of five of straight on training my replacement. You can see Tater pictures here though, and pictures from Dee's birthday here.
I feel good. I'm clearly in what one would call "amazing time."
Amazing time is when you have a fantastic night out with your Asian Party Posse, then a fantastic weekend in beautiful summertime Denver with K-Yo, the Tater and Princess Dee and her fruity shot birthday. Then you come home, and you have a week that is so busy (cause you know I'm basically working three jobs right now) that your eyes bulge out, but you know that on Friday you will have dinner with two of your favorite people and that the weekend will be relaxing. And that on Monday you will start an entirely new chapter.
And in that new chapter, the prologue involves you sitting by the pool for four days, and then going to a 4th of July bbq followed by a wedding in the Pimp Suite at The Palms. Then you start the first chapter, which takes place in Mongolia with two of your most favorite boys. And then from there ... I haven't figured out the plot. Or even the character list.
I always have my cards read for my birthday. This year, my psychic said, "You know what your song is for this year? It's that Natasha Beddingfield song, 'The Rest is Still Unwritten.'" And that's what it is. After that prologue and that first chapter, I have no idea. And it may be stressful. And it may be in Canada. And it may not. And I may be poor for a while. Or I may not. But I know it will be different than what it was, and that's the most important thing. That's the "amazing time."
My life is about efficiency. I make lists of lists that I need to make. Check marks are my friends. I time how long it takes me to do laundry. I use Excel, Outlook, Project AND a running set of notes both in Word and in a paper notebook to organize myself. Perhaps you have seen the holiday letter and gift spreadsheet. Or for that matter the former lover ranking spreadsheet. You know it.
But this week, I even exceeded my own expectations about making my life more efficient. Here are two pictures of the nightstand in my bedroom.
It has all your standards. Candle, light, water glass, lip balm, lotion, linen spray, birth control pills, nail polish ... bottle of wine!
Yes. This week I was at the grocery store, buying my standard low-end bottle of drinking while making dinner and before bed wine, and it dawned on me ... every night before bed I clean up, and then I walk into my bedroom, get my wine glass, walk back to the kitchen, pour wine and then walk back to the bedroom.
How much more efficient is my life if, instead of that, I just buy a second bottle of wine and leave it on my nightstand? Then, that entire kitchen scenario goes bye bye. And that kitchen routine? That's four minutes of my life that I now have back every evening!
And those are four minutes where I can now use the items in the bottom drawer of that nightstand! BAM! I just wrote that entire entry to get to the punchline!
Uncontrollable mood swings can overwhelm you today while the Moon is still in your emotionally sensitive sign. But stability is likely on the way, enabling you to fully enjoy the weekend ahead. Don't worry if it feels like you've run out of time; you haven't. It's just that you must make a decision about what you want to do next in your life.
Here's my other one:
There is no way to travel 'straight as the crow flies' to where you want to be. There are serious geographical obstacles to be circumnavigated. You can resent these unwelcome diversions or you can just get on with the business of pursuing your only viable route. The road from A to B goes via points Q, X and Y and there's little you can do about it. Besides which, it is not the crow you need to follow now, it is the bluebird of happiness. And that famously takes a more meandering course.
EXACTLY.
Okay, this is a warning. It's about to get messy around here. I'm just not sure if it's the kind of messy we all like, or the kind that ends with me on a panic-driven cross country road trip while Pookie writes some tragic poetry. Could go either way, really.
It's been an interesting, eye-opening two weeks. That is all.
Because I am so busy I cannot even fucking see straight. Literally. You know when party planning becomes insane? New Year's. Which is also conveniently football season. Which is also conveniently holiday season.
1. Buy the New Alicia Keys Album: Do it. Do it today. It's amazingly, amazingly good. It's her best work ever, and all of her work is good.
2. Though I am Busy, I am Also Manic Right Now: So shit is getting done. At 10:20pm on a Thursday, my joint is clean, my laundry is done, I am almost "even" with my work to-do list. I wrapped four Christmas gifts tonight (and wrapping is a production for me when I start this early). Shit is getting done.
3. Deanna is in town! And we are going to eat something fine.
4. Dear Shank: I hope that your surgery doesn't suck too much today. I made you something special to give you next week. That's what I do for broken people. Love you! Mean it!
5. This weekend: I will, at some point, watch the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special on dvd. Beautiful.
5b. Dear Mom: Thanks for making my lost contacts problem less of a problem. You are THE BEST MOM EVER.
I will be posting all of the Vancouver stories tomorrow, you know, after I upload the eighty million "drunk eye" photos for your enjoyment.
And hiking photos.
A random, very random, five to start.
1. Holidays! I have started putting the traditional list of suggestions for things to buy the women in your life together. If you, as a woman or a man who likes women's things, have received anything spectacular that you would like to recommend, you just feel free to email me and tell me so that I can include it.
2. Gorillas in the Mist: I finally finished reading it, and I had a moment where I cried on the plane. I should not have read that book so close to having returned. All I could think about was the horror of gorillas being slaughtered. I am still not right after that trip.
3. More Northern Exposure Wisdom: From the episode "Things Become Extinct." God, this season is good. I hope my mom can enjoy season one and season two enough to get to this season, because it's brilliant. "Things Become Extinct" is really about the way phases of your life end. The person that you were becomes extinct and you become somebody new, and stories continue either way. And in the middle, Chris says this:
"'In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood Where the straight way was lost. Oh, it is hard to speak of what I saw there, Which even in recall renews my fear. So bitter is it that death is hardly more.'
That's Dante, folks, writing of his own midlife crisis.
That's the fourteenth century. Six hundred years have passed and we're still into it. It's at that midpoint in our personal continuum when our delicate lives hang in the balance. We look behind us and see how far we've come, and we realize that our past isn't a solitary trail through secret woods but a vista as big and expansive as the ocean itself with our experiences stretching to the horizon. Like tiny dot-like sailboats, sucked up into the enormous sea. "
Now, that, people, is some television writing.
4. Go Steelers: Damn, my team is good this year. Chargers? 5-4 is good enough for a one game lead in the AFC West? That's embarrassing.
5. I like her BECAUSE she's a drunk: Did you catch this priceless piece of Amy Winehouse trying to sing at the MTV Europe Video Music Awards? It just makes me like her more.
Makes the error of over-booking her social schedule the week before she leaves for 20 days in Africa, but I managed to do it. I committed to invitations on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and TWO almost back-to-back events on Saturday. This means that on Sunday I will be doing all of the things one does before leaving on a massive trip of this nature, basically in one day because I know that I will be swamped with things on Monday and Tuesday before I leave. I still have no visa, though my bank account says that it was processed. I have no idea what adapter size I need for electrical outlets, and I WILL NOT HAVE A REPEAT OF THE HONG KONG ELECTRICAL ADAPTER SITUATION. I'm not entirely sure what I need to pack, and I think Lisa is in Africa already so I can't ask her. I have nothing to read on the plane and a shortage of batteries to take with me and one Mr. Dave Shafton has still not mailed me back my headlamp so I'll need to buy a new one because most yards are not fenced and there's a "risk of running into wild animals" I'm told.
And quite honestly, I'm realizing that I'm going to miss having Ho of a Thousand Pictures on this trip, and not just because of the pictures. It's been two massive trips that I've had him with me. But at least I can count on him to do my football pool picks while I'm away.
Sometimes, I am a silly girl who enjoys being around people too much. Sometimes, I should simply say "I really should stay home and sleep tonight." Or say something like "Hey, you know, I'm actually about to leave for 20 days in Africa and it might be a better move if we just hung out here and I did laundry."
Which is why we have yet to hear the condom and sushi story. And why none of the paper journal writing I've been doing has been transferred to The Nature of Sand. And why I am tired and a tad on the cranky side. Just a tad. I'm sure I'll shake it off.
Anyway, my point is that I have things to write about, but not the energy to write at this moment. Also probably why your email isn't answered yet and your birthday present isn't mailed yet. But if I don't get around to sending those birthday presents before next Tuesday, you can probably look forward to a raffia skirt and an African headdress. Or a small adopted child. Your choice really. Ferris already called first dibs on the adopted child though.
Everybody I've spoken with who has ever been in Africa says that this is the trip that changes the person you are. Which makes me want to write about the first time I ever left the country and how that changed the person I was. So maybe on Thursday night, my one uncommitted night (so please don't ask because you know I'll say yes), I'll write about that.
There are typically three things that keep me from updating the old blog:
1. I'm wrapped up in an offline writing project 2. I'm wrapped up in a boy 3. I'm wrapped up in work
All three currently hold true. I will be back online and tenderly, gently loving Paul Jack and posting some bitchwhore photos after the weekend.
In the meantime...re-read some Fitzgerald. I'm remembering my passion for him. Like how I just wrote a sentence that vaguely implies that reading ILovePaulJack and reading Fitzgerald are similar in some way?
For four glorious days I was not stressed. But I came back to STRESS.
And you know, I was stressed right before I left, too. Like, hyper stressed. And BK emailed me to check in. And I sent him an email back. And this is what he wrote back:
"You won't get this until you get back, but you've never changed. You still ramble when you get stressed. It's cute."
See, but I would say neurotic, not cute. Maybe it was cute when BK and I were tight when I was 20, but now it's just neurotic.
Tome on hiking, thoughts on Bourne, all of that later.
I Totally Knew That There Was Something I Forgot in the Friday 5(10)
So, Larry belongs to a flickr group called "Me Today" in which members post a picture of themselves each day. And my mom actually did that for/to me my senior year of high school, and having those pictures is pretty nice. And also, I would look at Larry's pictures when I loaded my flickr page each day and be all like "I think it would be kind of nice to have a photo record of every day."
And then the other day, I was cleaning and I came across my old thankful journal, which is a project Trish and I did once where we kept a journal every day for six months where we'd note the one thing we were thankful for each day and draw/sketch/paint/color an image to go with it. And I thought that would be nice to do again too, especially since I've been focussing on being grateful lately.
Priceless 90210 Screen Shot - Oh, and a Monday Five
1. Pattern, Design. So, I'm taking my sweet old time with the real redesign over here, but I'm also transitioning into football season/fall/busy time. This means that I'm looking for ways to implement pattern into my life, because without pattern I get overwhelmed and get nothing done. It' s like I need to have a set routine for when I do things, or they don't get gone ever. So I'm adding MySpace update, MySpace slideshow update and blog design update to the weekly pattern of things I'll just "do." I've always been a creature of pattern. And anybody will tell you that I've been distracted and off center all summer. That often happens in the summer, but between being sick and having this huge negative force in my life for most of the first half of the year, it was worse than normal. And then lately some would claim that I've been boy distracted. Which I may or may not cop to. But we'll all be happy to know that I'm definitely going to finish this list by the end of August, and that will be groovy. Yeah. Establishing pattern is key to me. Especially because I've made the second half of the year more hectic than normal with my aggressive personal travel schedule. Awesome.
2. My Dark Materials: And, no, I'm not talking about my weekend behavior, though we'll write about that soon once I've lifted everybody else's picture. I'm talking about the books. I finished The Golden Compassthis weekend. So good, of course. Now, many people have told me that I won't enjoy the second two as much, but I knocked through about 100 pages of The Subtle Knife this weekend too and I'm not seeing that there's much fall off. Who knows. Ask me later. Thank you, K-Yo! Those were good selections.
3. Teaser: Things we'll be covering at ILovePaulJack this week include: - some poems about stds and uterine issues - how I am not Asian, but I am sometimes party-happy - 5 more perfect moments
4. 90210!!!! Oh, how I love thee. Oh, how I love Matt McD for feeding this fetish. I'm through disc two of season two, and as I've mentioned, season two is a miracle. - Firstly, because Steve Sanders is dressed in short shorts and half-tops in every other episode since it's beach volleyball season in season two.
- Secondly because of Brandon's cabana boy outfit.
- Thirdly because of episode 5, "Play it again, David," which is the episode where David Silver's dad and Kelly Taylor's mom begin dating, beginning their long road to becoming half brother and sister. Also, this is the episode where Brenda has a mental flashback of Dylan, who is temporarily in Hawaii, and, in her mind, running shirtless on the beach. Also in this episode, Brandon saves an abused child. Everything!
- Fourthly because of episode 7, "Camping Trip," in which the kids all go on a camping trip but get stuck in a leaky cabin during a rain storm, where two newly weds teach them all a thing or two about love. Then Brandon and Dylan go hiking and Brandon falls from a cliff, narrowly escaping death until Dylan, who fell off the alcoholic wagon the night before, pulls him back to safety.
5. A poetry meditation to start the week! Is obviously the one from "Things to Remember When Walking" by David Whyte that I used in this journal redesign:
To be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others.
Hil posted that poem this weekend on her blog. You should read the entire thing, because it's a beautiful meditation. I used it as mine this morning, and probably will all week until I have it inside of me all of the way. Go read it. Yes.
Friday Five! By which I mean Friday 10 on the 13th
Because just because I didn't have time to post last week, it doesn't mean that there weren't all kinds of random things I wanted to drop on you. Here's how this is working. I do one item, then I go and clean a patch of carpet because shamus gets here in two hours and I'm trying to reduce cat hair.
1.Speaking of shamus: We are doing what I like to call "Rich Man/Poor Girl Weekend," in which on Friday we eat at Michael Mina and have a VIP table at Caramel with Hott Scott and Sean and Saturday we see a movie at Sam's Town and then go drinking on Fremont Street. It will be perfect. IT HAD BETTER BE PERFECT.
2.Wanna know what else is perfect? My travel schedule for the rest of the year. In August it's a trip to Denver to see K-Yo and then the Whitney Summit. In September/October it's Uganda. In November the Woodalls and select Jocelyn friends and I are taking the kids to NYC to see the Macy's Day parade and other spectacles for Thanksgiving. In December it's home to magical PA for Christmas and then on to Tuscon for margaritas and Parkers. Perfect.
3. Dear Men of Match.com: Here are some more free pointers from me.
a. Chances are, dating you is not my top priority. Not to sound snotty, but it's not like I'm having a hard time finding dates. If you email me, I'm probably not going to jump off my chair and say "I HAVE TO EMAIL HIM RIGHT NOW." Unless you are Leonardo DiCaprio. Chances are, in a couple of days when I have some free time, unless your Match handle is "Welcome2MyNitemare", I'll at least respond. THAT IS UNLESS YOU GO CREEPO ON ME BEFORE I EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO AND SEND ME AN EMAIL EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK ASKING IF I GOT YOUR LAST EMAIL. Dude, seriously, come on now.
b. Here's another free tip. Let's say you're local and you may have seen me out at the Venetian one night and then come across my profile on Match. IT IS THEN CREEPY IF THE FIRST EMAIL YOU SEND ME IS ASKING ME IF I WAS THE PRETTY GIRL YOU SAW AT THE VENETIAN AND THEN DESCRIBING WHAT I WAS WEARING THAT NIGHT. Don't expect a response back to that freako. We have Craigslist for that if you want to go there.
c. And finally, on that should be so obvious that I'm not sure why I have to point it out. Don't use pictures in your profile of you and your ex. That's just going to make me think that you haven't cleaned up that situation yet. You and your dog? That's good. You and your ex? That's not good.
4.Speaking of Boys: Uh, wanna hear a freaky accurate assessment of me from somebody who barely knows me?
"You're an over achiever. You like to work, you like the sense of a job well done. You are a mother (ing) type. You love the little rascal in a boy, but you don't want to be a man in the relationship. You are a submissive woman (so to speak, pull my hair and show me who's the boss kind of gal). But mostly you're afraid of the unknown,,, marriage, kids sex with the same guy over and over..."
And the childrens all nod and say "Yep."
5. Also Speaking of Boys: And that word is being used intentionally, I sent what has to be the ugliest, cruelest email I've ever sent in my life this week. But the saddest part is, there wasn't really anything in there (or very little) that I don't believe to be true about the person I was sending it to. For about an hour after I sent it, I was actually a little embarrassed that I did. I mean, I was like, "Man, I am the kind of person who can say those things - and I know EXACTLY how bad those things are going to make that person feel." But then afterwards, I thought about it and was like, "No, this is a man who lies to women, many women, over and over again. And for no reason other than that's he's selfish emotionally. I don't feel bad about calling that behavior at all, especially since I've been enabling it for the last two months or so." And then I bounced back and forth a couple of times and felt bad about some of the horrible things I said and then felt like I'd had a right to say them. And in the end, if nothing else, the action got my head unbent where previously it had been bent. Okay, really what happened was a strong woman and an incredibly sweet man reminded me that I had every right to say those things, and then I felt better.
7.G-Mail Chat Status Indicator Poetry: (I Love) Paul Jack and (I Also Love) Dex and I have been playing a word association game with our Gmail Chat status indicators all week, and if you put it all together, it almost reads like a poem:
big time small time no time timeless wordless soulless mindless speechless speech is overrated speech is rated r pandemonium is rated r pandemonium is rated wow my boobs are rated wow pandora's boobs are rated AWESOME i have no boobs to rate boobless boob time is back it's 5:00pm - boob time
8. See, I knew 10 would be a stretch. Here we are at 8 and I have three spots to fill but only two real things to talk about. How about we do one featured photo and then the last two hot items? Here:
So this is actually one of my favorite shots from home. It's my mom's yard. Lawn birds. Yep.
9. A Wish for You and Shoes: In case you were one of the two people who didn't hear my shoe story from today. In which case I don't have your email and you should correct that. Or you are a man. But anyway, I digress. So today I had a couple high stress things going on at work and I started to feel a little run down, so I decided to cope with that by running to Designer Shoe Warehouse to buy what I thought would be a $100 pair of ballet flats to wear with this dress that I bought to wear to the aforementioned Michael Mina/Caramel spectacular on Friday. But DSW was having a massive sale! And for just $33 I walked out of there with FOUR pairs of ballet flats! FOUR! And what I wish for all for you for the weekend is a little unexpected happiness like DSW delivered for me today.
10. Friday Remix! Is back! Five songs for Friday! Playlist and everything. Here we go!
"Scrubs" from TLC: Last week (or really two weeks ago), I was all like "Unpretty is the best TLC song EVER." But really we all know that the best TLC song EVER was Scrubs. Remember how you and your friends would all sing that song over and over when it first came out? You know that you did. Don't front. And it still speaks to me. Enjoy. Catch the lyrics here if you want.
"Jet Lag" from Joss Stone: This song is so freakin' sexy. And I've been on a Joss Stone kick lately. Kick the lyrics here. Hawt.
"More than Anyone" from Gavin Degraw: I really have never felt that this was his best album track, but I do think it's one of his best live tracks. And this is a live version. Maybe his best live track. It's so lovely to listen to. I give you no lyrics link because the lyrics aren't all that special.
"Four in the Morning" from Gwen Stefani: You can hate me later for closing out this week's playlist with Gwen Stefani and Fergie, but I can't stop listening to both of these songs. Shut up.
"Big Girls Don't Cry" from Fergie: No, I am actually embarrassed about these songs on my playlist. I am. But yet here they are. I enjoy these lyrics, too.
1. Aging Out: Let us, of course, begin by discussing Age of Love. If I haven't made it clear yet, this show is brilliant. This week's highlights included: - Mark Phillipousis discussing how he had a hard time talking to Tessa without staring at her boobs - Even more gratuitous shots of Mark Phillipousis with his shirt off. - The most brilliant quote ever by a 24 year old with huge fake boobs. "I have great thoughts."
If you are not watching this show, you're missing out. Don't say later that I didn't warn you. This shit makes I Love New York and Charm School look like amateur hour.
2. To Barack or Not to Barack: I really struggle as I read his book, you know, because there are a lot of places where his policy issues are so very, very different than mine. But on the other hand, he's a good man with good intentions and good will towards him which would make him a good President. And, most importantly, when he writes about spirituality and religion and faith and their larger roles in society, he moves me deeply. Maybe you don't want to read all 400 pages of his book, and that's cool. But go find an excerpt of the chapter on faith and read it. It will give you many moments of pause, I promise.
3. One of my favorite episodes of TV ever: I decided to finish watching season two of Northern Exposure before starting 90210. Don't you all worry. I'm TOTALLY STAYING IN ALL WEEKEND (by which I don't mean Friday), so I'm sure there will be lots of 90210 watching. Anyway, I had forgotten how much I love the second to last episode of season two of Northern Exposure. The episode is called "War and Peace" and it's the one where the Russian opera singer visits. But it's also the one where Ed falls in love and then experiences heartbreak for the first time. And there's a four minute scene with Ed and Chris in the Morning about feeling heartbreak for the first time that's really beautiful television. That show had some great moments.
4. It's Visiting Time: Summer means visits to Vegas, and that makes Jocelyn a super happy girl. Especially since last week I bought the hottest new partay dress EVER and there are now excuses to wear it. xtine has been here, like, so often that I'm about to charge her rent (joking, I'd pay her to be here). J-Flo and K-Flo are headed out at the end of July so I get to see them. shamus has supposedly booked a ticket. In the category of "acronyms that are too close," I'm going to Denver to see K-Yo the first weekend in August. I also get to see my burly boys for a hiking trip at the end of the month. I hear rumors of a Woodyall trip. And on top of all that, I get to go home to PA next week for Ferris' birthday (age undisclosed) and see all of my favorite people there. Who's a happy girl about seeing so many of her friends in the next two months? This girl is.
5. New Friday Feature: We're going to start doing a Friday feature of a playlist of the five songs I've got in heavy rotation that week until I figure out that this technology just isn't working. Anyway, here's this week's five hotties. And, yo, I didn't put an auto-start on this stream, so you have to actually click the play button. Mom, you just email me if you're confused.
- Princess - Matt Nathanson. Somebody sent this to me this week and told me that the song reminded them of me. And so I listened to it, and it was a little hard to listen to, but in the end I did kind of see lyrics that were, you know, self-descriptive. "All my pauses, they're all stops anyway." You can read all the lyrics here.
- I Saw/Angel - Matt Nathanson. Because I then listened to his other stuff, and this song is beautiful too. Lyrics are here.
- Unpretty - TLC. I had forgotten about this song. It's one of the best songs they ever recorded. I've been back on the tip this week. Lyrics here.
- You Want to Make a Memory - BonJovi. The number one album in the country, folks. It's a really beautiful song and his voice sounds amazing on it. Lyrics here.
- Trouble - Ray Lamontagne. This song isn't so much about lyrics. It's just so melodically beautiful, and who doesn't love his voice and his passion? I could listen to it 100 times.
Enjoy. I have a big full weekend ahead. Of work. Not joking. Rock it on.
Even though he made me get up at 8:00am today, I have the best lawyer in the WORLD. Thanks, dude. You just made my life a thousand percent more luxurious. Ha.
1. Screw You Grey's Anatomy: I don't even LIKE that show. I avoid it like the plague. McDreamy, McSteamy, Mc-I-Would-Kick-These-People's-Asses-In-Real-Life. But in a catch up maneuver, I watched the season finale. AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY OVER THE WHOLE WEDDING/NOT WEDDING STORY LINE. The vows that never get said. When he left her at the alter. The very last scene where she realizes that she's both relieved and sad that he's left her. BAWLING. And now, and now, I may have to watch next season to see what happens. Damnit.
2. Uganda, U Got Me: This is how this conversation rolled out.
Me to Lis NO. I am not coming to Uganda with you. Not at that price tag, and not during football season. There is ZERO CHANCE that that is going to happen, so stop asking.
Me to My Mom NO. There's no way I'm taking that trip to Uganda at that price tag and during football season. Think of all the places I SHOULD put that money.
Me to K-Yo No way I'm going to Uganda. I have things I need to pay for with that money. NO WAY I'm going.
And then the following three things happened: Lisa was relentless. I'd be sitting in the office reviewing a tracking report and suddenly an email would appear in my inbox with pictures of wild gorilla or girraffe or rhinos and a note from somebody who knew somebody who knew somebody who had been to Uganda about how amazing Uganda is. Last week? I heard about NOTHING but Uganda. Uganda, Uganda, Uganda.
My mom pointed out that the only thing that money can buy is a happy memory. We can discuss that financial role modeling later.
K-Yo pointed out that the other things I could use that money to pay for will always be there, but Uganda with Lis may be a once in a life time. And I've never been to Africa.
And before you know it, I'm checking the visa/passport situation, arrival and departure dates and immunization schedules. YOU GOT ME, OKAY? I'LL GO ON YOUR STUPID AFRICA TRIP TO SEE THE STUPID GORILLAS AND PROBABLY FEEL LIKE MY LIFE IS CHANGED FOREVER WHEN I GET BACK. YOU WIN.
3. Blake has beatboxed his way into my heart. And then this conversation today.
Me Listen, I like Blake, too, but I really don't think you can make the argument that he *should* be in the final two.
Bon Bon I don't care. I love him. And anyway, how many straight white guys have ever won American Idol?
Me Oh, honey, honey, honey.
Bon Bon What? You're going to point out that Taylor Hicks won last year?
Me No. I'm going to point out that Blake Lewis cannot be a straight white man.
1. The Best Thing That Got Said This Weekend "Girl, relationships are like birth control pills. If you think you're going to find one without a side effect, you're dead wrong."
This, of course, is only REALLY funny if you've been following my saga with birth control pills, which unless you are ToniK, K-Rock or Bonnie Bentley, you probably are not. I am not a fan of birth control pills. I haven't taken them, except for two short periods of about six months each, since I was in college. But, for various reasons we don't need to go into, I decided I would go back on them for the time being. This begins with my totally unreasonable conversation with my obgyn.
Me I don't care what other side effects it has, but DO NOT put me on a pill where the side effect is weight gain. I do not want to gain a single pound from this. Not one pound.
OBGYN I mean, is three to five pounds of water retention really going to matter to you? Come on now.
Me NOT.ONE.POUND.
And so we, until this point, had tried five, FIVE, separate pills.
1. The first one made me break out like a 14 year old. Happy Thanksgiving 2006 to me. And while I'd said I didn't care about other side effects, clearly I did.
2. The second one apparently defined "some light spotting" as a full on period for longer than two weeks. This one was particularly enjoyable.
3. The third one made me vomit every morning for three weeks. But not only was there no weight gain, there was weight loss because I couldn't keep food down!
4. The fourth one was, I believe, everybody's favorite. It was the one that made me emotional and probably a little bit insane for the month we tried it. K-Rock, I'm sure, will confirm, that for several weeks, I would be sitting in the office looking at a spreadsheet or a logo comp or something and suddenly, out of the blue, for no reason, crying. And I am not so much a crier. I would have to get up and go cry in the bathroom, or some days cry while sitting in my car. And if you asked me what I was crying about, I had no answer for you. American Idol? Made me cry. My taxes? Made me cry. I mean, the list was endless. Crying. Constant crying. Momentary losses of connection with reality. Anxiety. Not good. Unpleasant to be around.
5. And then pill five, which seems to be a little miracle worker. I'm not acting crazy. My skin seems fine. No weight gain! No vomiting! No reduced sex drive so far (which has historically been a problem with me and birth control). The only side effect one month in is that my breasts have gotten tender.
And so, if you're enjoying this metaphor I'm spinning here, relationships are like that. Some will make you vomit, some will make you crazy, some will make you never want to have sex again, but in the end hopefully you'll find one that just makes your boobs swell a little bit. And really, what more could we all hope for?
2. Even Angels Have Existensial Angst My goal for this month is to output lots of creative, well, output. When I make that my goal, there are often certain sacrifices that I have to make. For me, one of those sacrifices is not going out on Friday or Saturday night unless there is some super compelling reason to. I know me. If I go out on Friday or Saturday for "a drink", I may only have one drink, but I will get wrapped up in the "being out and about" and it will be well into the morning before I get home. Then it will be well past noon-thirty before I get up and my creative energy will be shot before it even gets started. So I look for ways to pass the evening hours that don't require me to be out, laying it down. So, lots of movies and books to talk about.
Saturday night I re-watched Wings of Desire, which I probably hadn't watched in five years and which is one of my favorite films. I mean, you know, I love Wim Wenders and Until the End of the World is my favorite, favorite film ever. And the very beautiful Solveig Dommartin is in this film, and she's also the protagonist in Until the End of the World, and in both movies Wenders kind of uses her to explore this concept he loves of "a woman gloriously alone in the world." And I always relate to that. Anyway, the film always gets me thinking about spiritual eternity versus physical transience. And it makes me want to go out and touch leaves and smell concrete, which is what I did on Sunday.
3. I also finished reading... The Game of Silence by Louise Erdrich. She wrote much better before Michael Dorris died, but you still feel the nature in her writing, which is why we all love her so much, right?
4. I have stress. I have lots of work stress, a little personal stress, and then lots more work stress. I also have six days this week where I won't be updating in an effort to chill and offload some stress. Just letting you know.
5. Here's a poetry meditation. Except that it's not really a poetry meditation. It's the opening narration to Wings of Desire:
"When the child was a child, it was the time of these questions. Why am I me, and why not you? Why am I here, and why not there? When did time begin, and where does space end? Isn't life under the sun just a dream? Isn't what I see, hear, and smell just the mirage of a world before the world? Does evil actually exist, and are there people who are really evil? How can it be that I, who am I, wasn't before I was, and that sometime I, the one I am, no longer will be the one I am?"
I swear to God, I'm not in anyway feeling melancholy this evening. I'm actually in a good, good place. I had a great weekend with lots of good creative output. I got to talk to K-Yo and text with Di and the only person still on my "need to catch up" list is Roxie. And actually, by the way, I know we've been a little update light over here at ILovePaulJack lately, but I'm like moon. When I'm writing a lot on other projects, I tend to write here less. Plus I'm working some things out in my head that I'm not ready to write about yet.
Of course we all hate it when I get busy at work and busy with running and busy getting ready to go on vacation and there are no stories to tell. Summer is supposed to be about stories, right? I have no stories this week. The extent of the excitement that's rolling right now is that Candy is texting me during the east coast feed of American Idol to warn me about tonight's Besame Mucho experience.
What to write about...
Yep. Well, I pretty much have nothing. You know, but to keep you coming back, I'll tease what's coming up that may or may not interest you.
- That marathon I'm running is in Salt Lake City. How can there not be Mormon stories?
- I've been going out on some dates with this absurdly cute boy, and it's making me think about the fact that I really can be shallow and superficial sometimes. I may want to, you know, dissect that a little bit, because it's not how I would describe myself if you asked, but it apparently does exist in me because there have been several times in this experience where I've said, "Yeah, there's that, but he's so hot. Do we really care?"
- I'm spending a week in PA. I've been warned (also by Candy) that if the Pens are still in the playoffs at that point that the streets will be lined with burly, hockey-playing boys who will hit on me shamelessly while I'm getting gas in my sweats. That's her quote. That's what she said. I'm not sure that I'll be hitting up the gas station in sweats just to get a date, but you never know. I might do it just for the sake of a story. I might feel a RESPONSIBILITY to do it for the sake of the story.
- Speaking of that week in PA, Pookie is turning 30 and I am looking for something even more ridiculous than those skanky red snakeskin ho boots to wear to that party. Let me know if you have any ideas.
- You know what it is? I've actually been writing a lot of poetry lately. And I do not mean drunku. And that leaves me a little less inspired to write here unless there is an obvious story to tell. But fortunately, vacation coming! Stories coming!
1. Wrapping Up Melrose Place: Do you suppose that when Darren Star was putting Melrose Place together, there was a part during the writing session where he and the other writers were just like "Okay, now we need to go through the script and find ANY MOMENT POSSIBLE where Grant Show can appear shirtless?"
Not that I'm not thanking them for that.
2. I like American cars: If you check out the comments section on my MySpace page, Ryan has left the most delightful pictures of me fucking up some Toyota property. Good times.
3. Drunku: This weekend, we are speaking in drunku, which if you aren't following, is poetry in seven, five, seven schema. Right on.
4. This weekend: Pool at Mandalay Bay, dinner party and wine tasting and then hitting Grand Prix parties on the strip. And that's Friday. Saturday...more, worse. Apparently party season has hit.
5. And on a calmer note: Here's your poetry meditation for the weekend. From D. Nurkse, a reflection on broken marriages, which has been a hot topic for the last week or so:
Separation at Burnt Island
Brothers and sisters, who live after us, don't be afraid of our loneliness, our dented wiffle ball, the little kerf the dog chewed in the orange frisbee.
Don't grieve for our kite; not the frayed string that clings to your ankle, not the collapsed wing.
We lived on earth, we married, we touched each other with our hands, with our hair that cannot feel but that we felt luxuriously, and with promises.
We made these bike tracks in the sand —don't follow them—and this calcined match head is the last statue of our King.
We lived between Cygnus and Orion, resenting the blurriness of the Pleiades, in a house identical to its neighbors— stepwise windows, ants never to be repelled, TV like a window into the mind that can't stop talking, redwood deck facing the gulf.
Everything was covered with sand: the seams of the white lace dress, the child's hinged cup, the watch (even under the crystal), the legal papers.
We were like you, or tried to be. We divided our treasures (a marble with no inside, a brooch from Siena), signed our names with all our strength, and went home in two directions, while the marriage continued without us in the whirling voice of gulls.
I'm not sure I can review "The 300" any better than these three people did:
Charms94: "That was BADASS" Ferris: "That movie should have been titled 'Man Thong'" Shank: "I've seen it twice in 18 hours on the IMAX!!!!"
It's good, people. See it. Particularly see it if you are a female because there are plenty of shots of men dressed and looking like the man below who are throwing spears, while shirtless, in slow motion. I'm not saying, I'm just saying. And what I'm saying is "Yum."
In other news, here are my two favorite photos from St. Patty's day weekend. Enjoy those, too.
1. Has there ever in the history of music been a collection of music that's more beautiful than Chopin's "Nocturnes?" Ever? Number 2 was historically my favorite, but I had them on this weekend while I was cooking and later while I was writing and I think I may now believe that number fourteen is my favorite. You know that feeling that you're always trying to get where you feel like particles instead of solid? If you haven't had it in a while, listen to some of Chopin's nocturnes.
2. If you're following this list, this weekend I made excellent headway on my second play through of Zelda, wrote 20 pages on "Dreaming Not Sleeping", mailed K-Yo's late Christmas gift, patterned out my shorts and also made a pot roast with chili and cilantro sauce, stuffed green peppers and peach pie. And yes, that peach pie was because I've been watching so much 90210 and I got inspired.
3. My masterpiece, no joke, is over on HollyWagers right now.
4. I think I have to replace L.A. with San Diego this year or something. I missed all of January's training with that stupid cold. I don't know. I did 16 this Sunday, but to really be okay for L.A. I'd have to be doing full distance next week. And that may be possible. I need to talk to Scott, like, now.
5. So, on Saturday I did this ... thing ... before I went out for the night. I did it because it had been on my mind for a couple of days and I was sure it was the right thing to do. And I felt a lot better after I did it. And then on Sunday I had a card reading done and checked, like, four horoscopes and they ALL were like "WTF? What did you just do?" But yet I feel so much better about myself today about not allowing myself to get undervalued. I'm gonna say that this time the cosmos has it wrong. I'm going to hope that I don't regret that.
6. Here's your Rumi quote for the week: "Be melting snow wash yourself of yourself
A white flower grows in the quietness Let your tongue become that flower"
Go now and meditate on that. It's very freeing when you get lost in those words.
7. This morning, RJ and I had a 20 minute discussion about season one of 90210. This is really starting to take over my life. Maybe in the "not good" way.
8. How can it possibly be March Madness season already?
9. Brett Favre: You missed the memo. When you're old enough to do commercials for heartburn medication, you're TOO OLD TO PLAY IN THE NFL. GIVE IT UP.
10. Jayson: Thanks for dinner. That was very nice of you. You have no idea how much you made my weekend HOT by letting me into the loop that Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds (with Jim Verraros) is coming out!
There were so many things that made me laugh this week. I'm not sure if it's the stress relief of having the Super Bowl over or the freedom of being able to let go of some things I was holding on to or just that people were funnier than usual this week, but I laughed a lot this week.
And also, just to get it out of the way and save me some emailing, birthday weekend San Francisco flights have been booked: Arriving Friday, 2/23 into OAK at noon Leaving Monday, 2/26 at 4:00pm
The First Thing That Made Me Laugh: Ferris' Masterpiece on Wikipedia For whatever reason, at midnight Ferris was crusing wikipedia, and he found this entry for "Pittsburgh Left." (this is not the funny part)
Unsatisified with that entry and its justification for a basically illegal driving move, Ferris does his own edit, which you can read here. (this is not the funny part).
What is funny is that in the process of creating those entries, Ferris also contributed what may be the most relevent, important wikipedia entry ever. I give you the wikipedia entry for Bitch Move.
The Second Thing That Made Me Laugh: K-Rock Having to Listen to Country Pop in the Office ToniK is out of the office this week, which makes Bon Bon and I the only full-time people in our specific office, and K-Rock is here half days. Now, somehow, Bon Bon and I think that because of this, we get to control the music now that ToniK is not here. Bon Bon and I both like our country pop, but normally we're not allowed to play it because it makes ToniK's head explode in fire.
So this exchange goes down...
Leanne Rhymes "Nothing About Love Makes Sense" cycles through the play list.
Bon Bon I LOVE THIS SONG!
Me I LOVE THIS SONG.
K-Rock (insert sound of deafening silence)
Me I'm sorry, K-Rock. I'm extra sorry because Garth Brooks is next on the play list.
K-Rock (insert some kind of snort or something)
Bon Bon DON'T HATE! I OWN THE GARTH BROOKS BOX SET. I OWN THE GARTH BROOKS AS CHRIS GAINES CD.
Me Oh girl. The Chris Gaines cd? That's not okay, even by me.
K-Rock (insert some kind of snort or something)
The Third Thing That Made Me Laugh This Week: 90210 And not just that episode where Dylan and Brenda fall in love. There's also the next episode where Kellie tearfully tells us all about her rape and then the girls completely cure another girl with an eating disorder by playing truth or dare at a sleepover. I'm not joking.
Which basically happens every February after the Super Bowl, and having felt like I didn't rage into 2007 the way I had planned, I figured it would be both incredibly lame and simultaneously motivating to post a list of things I need to/want to accomplish this month. Then we can hold me accountable for them at the end of the month. And since I'm turning 33 at the end of the month (I figure if I just say it enough times, eventually it won't sting so much), the amount of embarassment I'm going to feel if I don't get all of this done will be substantial. It's just like the goal board at work! Boring for you to read? Yes. But it's a journal, not a blog. So work with me.
Jocelyn's List of How to Finish the Last 22 Days of the Month and Feel Like She Kicked Ass (also subtitled "How Not to be a Loser")
1. See those floating things on my sidebar that still aren't done? Taking the 15 minutes to mail K-Yo's late Christmas present and getting some stuff worked out with my obgyn? Actually getting that done!
2. Actually getting around to purchasing AND sending all of my January, February and March birthday presents.
3. Can anybody say first pass at my taxes?
4. Completing my second play through of Twilight Princess so I can really internalize that game. No joke.
5. Reading two books. I'd say three, but there's that whole Zelda thing going on. I didn't complete reading a single book in January. How embarassing is that?
6. 50 pages of personal writing on the Dreaming Not Sleeping project. That's more or less 20 pages a week, which shouldn't be that hard.
7. Getting Pookie to nail down 30th birthday plans so the rest of us can all make plans.
8. Getting my long weekly run up to 17 miles. I lost a lot of running time when I was sick in January. This should be interesting.
9. Finishing the brown cord shorts I started two months ago.
10. Finishing at least 1/3 of the canvass I started two months ago.
And that's plenty, right? I can feel like I'm back in ass-kicking mode if I do all of that, right?
I won almost $200 playing blackjack the night before. Since EVERYBODY was betting the first half under, I rolled half of that into unders on the game. Then I watched the first play of the game get run back for a touchdown. And then I ordered a drink. But I still ended up winning for the weekend overall and Charms94 and I went to Nobufor dinner on that.
Maybe I have a "really, really good weekend hangover." I spent Thursday night sleeping peacefully. On Friday we had dinner at the Burger Bar and then watched Little Miss Sunshine again on dvd. On Saturday, we headed up to Mesquite (It's Mesquite!) for dinner with the Pregame Team, craps and blackjack. And my favorite hotel rooms with the tacky, dirty mirrors on the wall. And ToniK beat Charms94 at Ms. Pac-Man. And I will bring that up at every opportunity.
And Sunday was the Super Bowl. And there was a Pregame event that I had to work at. Normally, at a Pregame event, men buy me shots and we joke about sports. At this event, I explained condoms to octogenarians and at one point hit on a paraplegic. It's Mesquite!
Congratulations, Peyton.
Today, I woke up and NFL season was over. I spent three months getting ready for NFL season and then six months living and breathing that season. I feel a little empty today. Honestly. How weird is that?
So, January happened. And ruminations on a doll house.
I mean, did it? It simultaneously feels like this month lasted for ever and never happened at all. I have vague memories of buying some hot jeans, a purse I haven't even seen yet and a pair of shoes I can't wear for three more months. I have a vivid memory of having wine and Mediterranean food in Long Beach and then shopping for sex toys. I remember the Rose Bowl. I remember New Year's Day.
And, well, that's it.
I accomplished nothing this month, unless you count watching the entire first seasons of 90210 and Supernatural as accomplishing something.
I went through a lot of emotions this month. My head still hurts from them.
My aunt went through some of my uncle's things and found an illustration from a 1976 edition of Better Homes and Gardens that my uncle used as the inspiration for the dollhouse he hand-made me when I was seven. The doll house was yellow and had a special little attic where the dolls could store their extra dresses. It had white curtains that my aunt sewed for me and not one but two balconies so the dolls could enjoy the outside on breezy summer nights in Western Pennsylvania.
This month I realized that I can't stretch the four weeks between hair coloring even one extra day because the right side of my head wants to develop a grey streak so badly that it's starting to overpower everything else. After I realized that, I went and lay down in my bed to pout like a four year old and wallow in self-pity, and from my bed I could see the framed picture that eventually became my doll house. When I was a little girl, I played with that doll house all the time. I honestly always thought that I was practicing for when I was older. Now, I literally have a grey streak that requires me to send myself email reminders that it's time to color my hair, my month was so forgettable that most of what I remember involves shopping and crying, and I own a pink cell phone and pink iPod. Strange how life works out.
I'm really not feeling bad. I'm sure this weekend I'll go to Mesquite for the Super Bowl and it will be fun and insane and amazing and I'll start telling stories about how much I like the freedom of my life right now (and probably how I drank until I puked on the blackjack table) again by Monday. I'm just work-stressed and a little sad about some other things and maybe even a little PMS-driven. Ignore me. I'll be totally back to normal by Monday. If nothing else, I'll go out and do something crazy on purpose so we all have something to talk about! Promise! Love you! Mean it!
Five Pieces of Information You Should Not Start Your Week Without
1. Jon-Rae and the River Knows What You Need is an album you should listen to. If nothing else, listen to "Just One More" because it will rock your day. And who doesn't need a little rock to start the week?
2. I've been watching season one of 90210. I remember watching later seasons of 90210 and wondering why we ever found Jason Priestly and Luke Perry hot. But, no joke, go back and re-watch season one now that it's out on dvd. Those guys were HOT. HOT! I have no idea when they got "puffy face syndrome," which they did later. But back in the day? HOT!
3. If you haven't re-read your Essential Rumi collection recently, do. I had...forgotten.
4. This week on Dateline's fifty-four-millionth episode of "To Catch a Preditor", they catch a preditor for the second time. They act like this is a huge deal, but if you film the same set up 500 zillion times it's statistically likely to happen. I'm just saying.
5. Yeah, I had colds, remember? So I've watched a lot of tv on dvd lately. I got Supernatural because, you know, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Akles. But after watching it -- that's seriously a good little show. Do you hear me (I Love) Paul Jack and Dex? It's a good little show. I think you'd enjoy it.
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