FYI - I am too old to go to midnight movies on a school night. I am tired today. I am on cat nap number four and it's only noon. But you're going to ask me what I thought of The Golden Compass, aren't you? I mean, you know, I think it was as well as they could adapt that book to a movie. It was nice to see a lot of the fantasy characters and the armored bears come to life. But you know, when you love a book like I love that book, the movie is NEVER GOOD ENOUGH. But I do think it's worth seeing. It's short - only two hours. Nicole Kidman looks STUNNING in every shot and it better get an Oscar nod for costuming. It was worth feeling like ass today.
1. I Fall Somewhere Between....So Pookie sent me this link. I fall somewhere between "Lover Boy" and "Hunk Next Door." Yes, that's clearly a recipe for disaster. Apparently, I want a man who looks cool while washing his car in the driveway but also really, really, really needs me. In actuality, I want neither of those things.
2. Broken Social Scene - I've been listening to them a lot lately. I think that they are neither the "Lover Boy" or the "Hunk Next Door." That is all.
3. Holiday Check In - By the end of the weekend, unless you work for Pregame.com (in which case I am holding your stuff until right before your holiday party) or live in Pennsylvania, you will be DONE! Letters went out the day before yesterday. Everybody in San Francisco is finished. Everybody in LA is finished (more or less). By the end of the weekend, if I need to mail your package, you are finished. I feel, you know, pretty good. And tired. And a little broke!
4. Birthday Madrid Trip: Dear Lis,
How DO you do it? I am already stressed out about trying to keep everybody happy on this trip. Love, Jos
5. Remember When Pookie Had No Computer? How long ago that seems. Now, my day is a series of IM's from him that include links like the one above and endless YouTube videos. But I don't care, because he sent me this YouTube classic, which took a HORRIBLE day (yesterday) and turned it around for me:
There's so much good in this video: - The Clap Track that EVERYBODY does, even those seemingly random females - The look on Rick James' face after he obviously just snorted coke - The shirtless guitarist behind Eddie Murphy - The way Eddie Murphy consistently looks away from the camera because HE IS TAKING HIS MUSIC SERIOUSLY
And, the best part, as pointed out by Pook, is how Rick James rushes out and grabs a bass guitar during the last ten seconds of the song -- as though it is suddenly needed.
"I'm sitting in the international lounge at JFK because I missed my connection and now I have to overnight it here for the first flight out tomorrow. SUCKS. But I thought I might as well go ahead and start posting the Africa updates while I'm here."
"Word."
So, we will, as usual, start with the random things that will not fit into any of the ongoing stories. They are numbered for convenience.
1. The Princess Pictures So Franki, thinking he is a smart ass, throws out this challenge that I have failed in Africa if I do not come home with pictures of me "getting down with local and/or wild life while wearing a princess tiara." He clearly has no idea. The best ones are below. The full collection can be seen here.
Let me also say that this challenge necessitated a trip to Wal-Mart, which Slappy took with me. Slappy DOES NOT go to Wal-Mart. The vision of the agony in his face as we walked through Wal-Mart is still with me. No African child has ever suffered as much as that man suffered in our fifteen minutes in Wal-Mart. That is all.
2. You Will Need to Meet James James was our driver for all twelve days of safari, though we preferred to affectionately call him "Jamsey." James was a patient man, as he must be, as anybody who will ever have traveled with Lis or I will tell you. He patiently waited through bathroom breaks, perfect photo breaks, late mornings, chatty girls, cranky girls and thunderous rain storms and mudslides to get us wherever we wanted to go. He thought something was wrong with me because I often skipped lunch. He would look at me and say, "But eet is paaaiid for." Once he tried to tell me that men are confused when what they want is a skinny girl because when you go to the grocery store to buy a chicken you don't look for the skinniest one. I tried to explain to him that I was not a chicken in a grocery store, but no go. There are many other funny stories about James that we'll talk about later. Here's a picture.
Actually, here's one more James story. James has a little portable dvd player that he takes on the road with him. It cost him $370,000 Ugandian shillings, which is more than twice the monthly salary of a school teacher, and teachers are paid pretty well there. It's his pride and joy. He likes Nigerian films, but he also likes some American films. I thought I might send some dvds to him (by which I mean two copies of every dvd I send so customs can keep one and James can get one). So I ask what kind of American movies he likes.
"There is this American actris...alllliii bari."
"Halle Berry?"
"Yes! She was in this one movie, and she did a very strong job."
And then he starts describing the movie and, no joke, it's this.
Don't worry, James, "Die Another Day" and "Catwoman" are on their way.
3. So That You Don't Need to Wait Till the End for an Answer You know, the big discussion before I left, with just about everybody, was "Where do you stand on the idea that the best aid for Africa is no aid for Africa?"
And you know, I admitted that I didn't know where I stood. And also, Uganda is only one country and I was only there for a little over two weeks, so it's not like I'm some kind of expert. But I did come back thinking that the best aid for Africa is no aid for Africa unless you have a super great idea on how you're going to skip the government "filtering" process and get your dollars directly to the people. There's no denying that this is an area that's primed for corruption. Imagine having all of the corruption of competing political parties, but compound it by the fact that there are competing political systems as well (a westernized government from when Uganda was a British colony and a traditional royalty structure for each tribe and then the unified tribes). It's a country where I could be in a village of ten mud huts and get a Coke or a Guinness, but don't ask anybody where the nearest place to get Mephaquin is or, if they did know where the nearest place to get medications was, how to get there without functioning roads and systematic public transportation. It's a country less than thirty years removed from the tyranny of Idi Amin and still skeptical of any power structure. As they should be given that their current President wants to be a lifetime president. It's a country where torture camps and places where children were burned to death are still pointed out by your driver. It's a country that was given a billion plus dollars to prepare for CHOGM and, from what I can see, must have only spent money on signs that said "Are You Ready for CHOGM?" Because I can assure you, billions of dollars of improvements were not made in that country for the upcoming heads of government meeting.
And so that's the problem. The country (and lots of the continent) needs aid, but financial aid is actually going to make the problems there worse. It will get a percentage taken off the top by the government officials. And that percentage will be the majority percentage and will in no way go to creating the infrastructure and resources and programs needed to improve health and prosperity in Africa for the masses. It will just further stratify and increase the power of the few while doing nothing for the people you believe you're sending aid for. And that's the most depressing thing you take out of there with you. Though I've done some research, and Ashleigh is doing a fund raiser, and I'm going to give you some places later on where you really can impact change if you want.
That is all.
4. Except That That Is Not All Because, really, the lesson learned in Africa can be summed up by this part of a conversation I was having with somebody in Heathrow today.
"I live in Vegas. All I see all day long is people coming there to escape from their day-to-day life because they're miserable and unhappy in it. And every way in which they escape involves spending money. You see the most miserable people in Vegas, and you watch money in absurd sums just roll in and roll out. And then you go to Africa. And the people have nothing, they really have nothing. And they're happy. They're so much happier than you could imagine. "
That REALLY is all. Tomorrow we begin story telling.
1. Sometimes I can be a mean bitch: Though usually only when provoked. Almost always only when provoked. But when provoked, I will tear your shit down like you can't imagine unless you've experienced it. You have no idea, really. How is it that Catwoman was once described in a review by one of her employees? "Demeaning, Devaluing and Demoralizing?" Always remember that she and I went to the same school, I just learned better how to put the sugar coat on top if I had to.
And sometimes there are things that a thankful journal is insufficient for giving thanks for. And this is the case today. Because when you have had the kind of day that culminates in your slamming your laptop closed, screaming at people in a meeting to go fuck themselves and storming out of work to go home at 11:30am, then spending the day screaming at people over the phone and crying on your couch because you're just.that.angry, you can't really be thankful in the form of just one photo. When what happens is that you then end up going out to drink with your friends and you do nothing but laugh for three hours about things like people's sex videos on their phones, a story about a pinky ring that ends with somebody saying, "What? Did it end up in her butt?" and a hundred million inside jokes, you realize that even though Vegas was never supposed to end up being, "Yep. I live here. In Vegas," it's ended up being amazing and you've found a wonderful group of people whom you love and who love you to surround yourself with. And great business parters even if they infuriate you some days. And you are very, very thankful. And, as ugly as they are, you can see all of the pictures here. But here are a couple of my favorites.
So I guess I'm saying that I'm thankful that Vegas has given me bounty in the desert in so many ways. Enough ways that within three hours I was able to completely turn one of the worst days in months around. Grateful!
2. Why are you not on Twitter? Because the rest of us are having so much fun over there. Go join. Now please.
As a side note of unrelated issue, only coming to my mind because that link takes you to my Twitter profile, I've written a lot of online profiles of myself, but I believe my flickr profile, which I finally entered this week, takes the cake. Enjoy it. 3. Other People's Writing Again: Some good things this week. Okay, actually one major thing of note, and that's that Hil has finally put some of her own poetry up on Big Sky Mind. You should read it. And absorb it.
4. And I cried, and cried, and cried: I read the last 50 pages of The Amber Spyglass while floating in the pool, and thank the Lord I was in a body of water because I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. Heart wrenching. I don't want to give spoilers because I know that several people are reading those books based on my recommendation (which is really K-Yo's recommendation so thank her), and the last 50 pages are really the last 50 pages of about 1200 pages of story and I'll ruin everything if I say anything. Except to say that I CRIED LIKE A CHILD while reading the ending. Tears, sniffling, loud freakin' sobbing. There were moments in that book where I was like "He absolutely wouldn't end this that way." But he did. And my heart broke a little. By the way, I'm going to tell you now that while the movie will be fabulous I'm sure, I promise you it will not be the emotional experience that reading the books becomes. But if you're curious, here's the trailer:
I'm moving on the the Fitzgerald books next. What a great reading summer.
5. Friday Playlist! Here's what I was listening to on the way to and from the mountain, and what's held on since I got back. I think it was a good music week.
a. Sullivan Street - Counting Crows. This is a live version and it's beautiful. Hilary, because she really wants to support me in my effort to stay single for the next six months, also sent me a beautiful Counting Crows song this week that I've been listening to called Goodnight LA, but I couldn't find a download for the play list. Anyway, we all know that Counting Crows can make you feel and that Adam Duritz is an amazing lyricist. Here are the lyrics to Sullivan Street.Here are the lyrics to Goodnight LA.
b. Whistle for the Choir by A Fratellis. It's just really a lovely, lovely song. Here are the lyrics. I could listen to it all day.
c. Desperately Wanting by Better than Ezra: I've also been listening mostly to Get You In and Briefly. Really, that whole cd. Desperately Wanting is a great song though. You know, I popped that cd in on the way home from the mountain and was all like, "Man, this cd is not as good five years later," but then I got to the part of the cd with Get You In, Briefly and Desperately Wanting and I remembered why I loved that cd so much.
d. Love's Divine by Seal: Still one of my favorite albums of absolutely all time, and this is my favorite song on said album. I listened to that album up and down that mountain and all of the way home. And I loved every second of every measure of music. And I love the way that Seal believes. Lyrics here.
e. Poison by Bell Biv Devoe: This is on here because J-Flo was in town this week and this was our song when we were in high school. Back Stage - Underage- Adolescent - How You Doing? There was REAL art in the eighties, ya'll. "NEVER TRUST A BIG BUTT AND A SMILE."
The tome of hiking stories will be forthcoming. But for now, we went to see The Bourne Ultimatum the other night. And of course I loved it. But the fact that I loved it didn't change these things.
1. Matt Damon's current asking price is $15 million per film, which means he probably made upwards of $20 million for this film. For $20 million, Matt Damon had to:
a. Recite what appears to be less than 25 full lines of dialogue. b. Hold steady with his "psychologically tortured but emotionally frigid" face for 90 minutes c. Limp excessively.
I want that job.
2. Me to Ferris: "Did you see Bourne yet?
Ferris to me: "Yes. It made me motion sick for two days."
FOR REAL. I can't even tell you what happened in a third of that movie because I was all like "Whoa! What! Car chase! Whoa!" Take your dramamine with you to the show.
3. It doesn't matter what they do in any Bourne movie from now until the end of time. There will never be a scene as brilliant as the one in the first movie where he jumps off of the spiral staircase with the dead body in front of him as a shield and then survives. That was one of the best scenes in a film EVER.
3.5. I want to have sex with Julia Stiles. That is all.
Also, while we were at the movie, I noticed the posters for The Golden Compass film adaptation. I'm so excited. Granted, even though there are witches, talking animals, armored bears and super hero children involved, I'm not sure that I understand how you take 400 pages about quantum physics, the oppressive false spirituality of organized religion, the nature of the soul, Original Sin and reincarnation in the form of the universality of all materials and turn it into 90 minutes of film. I'm sure as hell going to pay my $10 to find out though.
Let's Go Have Breakfast at a Snotty French Patissiere in the Bellagio Recommended by a Gay Male Escort
Which is how shamus and I spent our Sunday morning. But there was lots before that, too.
"The fun" started on Friday evening. After a run to Sephora, we went to dinner at Michael Mina. shamus didn't think that it was funny when I turned to him in mock horror as we entered the restaurant and said, "I can't believe you left your wife-beater" at home. It would have been perfect to wear here."
There are the usual shamus challenges with the menu. I eat more foie gras than any person should have in any one sitting. We essentially force them to set up a wine tasting for us like we're something special. We REALLY like the water and send an email off of my phone to remind ourselves of the name so we can track it down (because it's a snotty import called Llanllyr Source). It's nice. If I had endless cash and a super fast metabolism, I'd have that kind of meal before going drinking every night that I went drinking.
We have some goofy gays take some goofy pictures of us in the goofy Bellagio floral display for the Fourth of July. Here's a sampling.
Me to the gay taking this picture, "This dress makes me look like a bubble." The gay to me, "A bubble of perfect!"
So crazy! shamus with the fake lemonade stand!
It's not time to head to Caramel yet, so we decide to have a drink in the Baccarat Bar. This bar, which xtine and I like to refer to as the bar where the youngins seem to hang out. In fact, I may be able to summarize what happens next with this exchange.
1. I text xtine a picture of the couch featured in just about all of these photos and the message "Your favorite couch in Vegas misses you."
2. She texts back "Tell it I miss it too. At least it seems as though there are no 23 year olds attached to it this time."
3. I text her back this picture and this message: "Actually, there are two 23 year old Aussies attached to it."
Because this is what happened. When shamus and I walked into the Baccarat Bar, there were no open seats. There were a couple of Gays we were going to go introduce ourselves to and go sit with, but then it looked like the two young gents above were leaving. It turns out that they were only cashing out because their waitress was leaving, but when I asked them that, they insisted that even though they weren't leaving, shamus and I should have a seat. They were fine. The one was freakishly tall (six foot seven, yo). We got to hear all about Australia. They thought shamus and I were related, which is cute. They were fine, but we were ready to be done with them by the time it was time to go. However, important later, I stupidly say, "Yeah, well, if you don't love Pure, and most people don't once they're actually in, we'll be at Caramel if you want to stop by." I surely did.
And then our people all show up and we all head over to Caramel. I will tell you know that you can see ALL of the pictures from that evening here. There are at least three of them where the caption just reads "This is me showing you how to be classy in a club." Enjoy. I've included some of my favorites below though.
Mindy is our server at Caramel. She loves her own name. She also loves Scottie. See how much Mindy and her pale-face love Scottie? Yep. That's love.
There are some highlights. For the record, those highlights don't include me drinking vodak out of the bottle. It also doesn't include when I porno-ed my ass into the air or tried to hump shamus' shoulder. Highlights would include when Sean did those same things after I did. Ha.
One highlight was the dancing man. He was dancing in the middle of the club, if by "dancing" you meant seductively rubbing up and down against the table. GROSS. There was also the hooker, and outside of the stimulating conversation with Mindy, she was the highlight. She was amazing. First, the guy that this African Queen hooker was with was AN EIGHT FOOT TALL WHITE MAN. Secondly, she had on a hot dress, hot jewelry and FLIP FLOPS. Somehow, she managed to grind with dignity against her trick even in flip flops.
But the best hooker story was the one Mindy told us about our African Queen friend. So, you know, the first thing that happens when you get table service is that somebody takes away the lids to all of the bottles that you bought because you're not supposed to leave with them. Our friend the hooker? Ballsy enough to ASK FOR THE LID TO THE BOTTLE OF PATRON so that she could leave with it. Despite her flip flops and line of work, I had expected more of her.
And there we are, enjoying our evening, when suddenly the Aussies join us. And the first thing out of shamus' mouth to me? "Dude, that guy thinks he's about to get laaaaid." Sure, he probably did. Which is why it suddenly got so awkward. I handled this by drinking more vodak and acting like a fool to deflect.
Oh, whatever. Here are corresponding pictures of Sean and I going ass-up in the club to show you how classy we are. Or perhaps you've already caught this delight on MySpace.
It was a good night. I love my friends.
On Saturday, after I surgically removed Redford from shamus, we went to see Oceans 13, which I loved, but George Clooney on any screen wells feelings of love in me. We were going to just grab some food and head home for napping time, but then shamus decided he wanted to SHOP. By SHOP we mean go to the Forum Shops at Caesar's.
Ask yourself, how much is too much to pay for a jacket made of the leather of baby goats? Once you have a number in your head, email me and I'll tell you how much you'll actually pay for that. For that matter, consider how much is too much to pay for a pair of rhinestone accented sunglasses from Coach. This is the game we played. That jacket is HOT though.
And then we had dinner and went to Fremont Street. AND I HAVE SOMETHING THAT HAS MADE ME SO HAPPY. It's a picture of shamus with a half-yard of liquor on Fremont Street. Like heaven delivered.
I ALSO HAVE A PICTURE OF SHAMUS OUTSIDE OF A STRIP CLUB THAT WAS REALLY PROUD THAT THEY HAD 45 DANCERS ON STAFF THAT NIGHT!!!!
Right? Perfect.
I mean, admittedly we made an error. And that error was half-yards of frozen liquor in 110 degree heat. We did not love how we felt. We loved it even less as we became part of this crowd. And this crowd are homeless folks enjoying the free outdoor concert from the eighties metal cover band. I'm not making that up.
Yep. So we went to the Griffin, had some drinks, shamus and his GAY outfit got introduced to an incredibly sweet boy and I was happy that they got along. And shamus broke the ice with that boy by telling the story about the time McK came to visit me in San Francisco and got human feces all over his leather chaps when we took him to My Place. Ice breaker!
We slept well. In the morning, we were going to go to the Coffee Bean, but instead decided that, on the advice of a gay male escort (I mean, Jesus, can we ever tell a story that doesn't involve the invocation of a gay male escort?), we went instead to Jean-Philippe. I mean, why go two minutes to the Coffee Bean when you can drive to the strip instead and eat French pastry. And eat I did: a brioche, a Napeolean AND a crepe. shamus couldn't really eat anything, but he said the pastry was good. Here are two pictures of our sunny, sunny morning.
That's a cute picture of me, right? Yet I got this text from C-Woo first thing on Monday morning, "I'm so glad to be greeted on Monday with a fresh picture of your ass on MySpace."
I miss him, and his gay ass vintage jeans, and his shopping enabling, and his bonding with Redford, and his bougie, bougie ways already. Tear.
And for the record, the picture below is my favorite of the night. Both because, well, that's shamus and I when we're out -- those faces, that silliness-- and also because Hott Scott is there in the background with that whole "I'm not participating" face. Ha.
1. I won the racial humor contest this weekend with my girlies. I won it with this one, which I busted out five minutes after they arrived: "Em, look, I put the Barack Obama book on the nightstand so that you Black folk would be comfortable in my home."
Though, if you were going for my vote, Em would have won it with this line, "Tell that boy not to upset you this week. Your minority friends are in town."
2. There are holes in this journal from the last eight months. Have you noticed? There are no entries about my birthday, or about the Super Bowl. There's nothing about St. Patrick's day. Or New Year's. Or my trip to Pittsburgh last November. And there are other, non-holidays that were beautiful and important and there's nothing in here about them. It's like those days didn't even exist. And I guess sometimes when you ask somebody to pretend over and over again that the good parts of something aren't there, eventually they start to believe it. I wish I had entries about some of those things right now, because it's getting harder and harder to believe that they ever happened.
3. I'm rewatching The Intruder right now. Somehow, avant guard French film doesn't work as well on dvd. But still beautiful.
4. Today, I arrived home and there was no loud hip hop playing in my home. Nobody was yelling at somebody. Nobody was screaming at T-Mobile over the phone. I could sleep in my own bed. I didn't have to fight through five flatirons and ten dirty washclothes to get to my toothbrush. Nobody stumbled in drunk at 5am. I didn't have to count all three cats to make sure nobody had accidentally let them out during the day. And you know what? For about an hour I was really happy, and then I started to miss my girls.
5. I'm making a decision this weekend about taking an extended trip home to PA, like, for a month or so. I think I may just need my mom to take care of me right now. I think I clearly know right now that I am not going to get better on my own, and I don't really have the support system I would need here. There's part of me that knows that if I go back there for a month, I'll end up never leaving again. But there's another part of me that just wants to be home. I don't know. I'll meditate this weekend and see what I think at the end.
1. The Best Thing That Got Said This Weekend "Girl, relationships are like birth control pills. If you think you're going to find one without a side effect, you're dead wrong."
This, of course, is only REALLY funny if you've been following my saga with birth control pills, which unless you are ToniK, K-Rock or Bonnie Bentley, you probably are not. I am not a fan of birth control pills. I haven't taken them, except for two short periods of about six months each, since I was in college. But, for various reasons we don't need to go into, I decided I would go back on them for the time being. This begins with my totally unreasonable conversation with my obgyn.
Me I don't care what other side effects it has, but DO NOT put me on a pill where the side effect is weight gain. I do not want to gain a single pound from this. Not one pound.
OBGYN I mean, is three to five pounds of water retention really going to matter to you? Come on now.
Me NOT.ONE.POUND.
And so we, until this point, had tried five, FIVE, separate pills.
1. The first one made me break out like a 14 year old. Happy Thanksgiving 2006 to me. And while I'd said I didn't care about other side effects, clearly I did.
2. The second one apparently defined "some light spotting" as a full on period for longer than two weeks. This one was particularly enjoyable.
3. The third one made me vomit every morning for three weeks. But not only was there no weight gain, there was weight loss because I couldn't keep food down!
4. The fourth one was, I believe, everybody's favorite. It was the one that made me emotional and probably a little bit insane for the month we tried it. K-Rock, I'm sure, will confirm, that for several weeks, I would be sitting in the office looking at a spreadsheet or a logo comp or something and suddenly, out of the blue, for no reason, crying. And I am not so much a crier. I would have to get up and go cry in the bathroom, or some days cry while sitting in my car. And if you asked me what I was crying about, I had no answer for you. American Idol? Made me cry. My taxes? Made me cry. I mean, the list was endless. Crying. Constant crying. Momentary losses of connection with reality. Anxiety. Not good. Unpleasant to be around.
5. And then pill five, which seems to be a little miracle worker. I'm not acting crazy. My skin seems fine. No weight gain! No vomiting! No reduced sex drive so far (which has historically been a problem with me and birth control). The only side effect one month in is that my breasts have gotten tender.
And so, if you're enjoying this metaphor I'm spinning here, relationships are like that. Some will make you vomit, some will make you crazy, some will make you never want to have sex again, but in the end hopefully you'll find one that just makes your boobs swell a little bit. And really, what more could we all hope for?
2. Even Angels Have Existensial Angst My goal for this month is to output lots of creative, well, output. When I make that my goal, there are often certain sacrifices that I have to make. For me, one of those sacrifices is not going out on Friday or Saturday night unless there is some super compelling reason to. I know me. If I go out on Friday or Saturday for "a drink", I may only have one drink, but I will get wrapped up in the "being out and about" and it will be well into the morning before I get home. Then it will be well past noon-thirty before I get up and my creative energy will be shot before it even gets started. So I look for ways to pass the evening hours that don't require me to be out, laying it down. So, lots of movies and books to talk about.
Saturday night I re-watched Wings of Desire, which I probably hadn't watched in five years and which is one of my favorite films. I mean, you know, I love Wim Wenders and Until the End of the World is my favorite, favorite film ever. And the very beautiful Solveig Dommartin is in this film, and she's also the protagonist in Until the End of the World, and in both movies Wenders kind of uses her to explore this concept he loves of "a woman gloriously alone in the world." And I always relate to that. Anyway, the film always gets me thinking about spiritual eternity versus physical transience. And it makes me want to go out and touch leaves and smell concrete, which is what I did on Sunday.
3. I also finished reading... The Game of Silence by Louise Erdrich. She wrote much better before Michael Dorris died, but you still feel the nature in her writing, which is why we all love her so much, right?
4. I have stress. I have lots of work stress, a little personal stress, and then lots more work stress. I also have six days this week where I won't be updating in an effort to chill and offload some stress. Just letting you know.
5. Here's a poetry meditation. Except that it's not really a poetry meditation. It's the opening narration to Wings of Desire:
"When the child was a child, it was the time of these questions. Why am I me, and why not you? Why am I here, and why not there? When did time begin, and where does space end? Isn't life under the sun just a dream? Isn't what I see, hear, and smell just the mirage of a world before the world? Does evil actually exist, and are there people who are really evil? How can it be that I, who am I, wasn't before I was, and that sometime I, the one I am, no longer will be the one I am?"
I'm not sure I can review "The 300" any better than these three people did:
Charms94: "That was BADASS" Ferris: "That movie should have been titled 'Man Thong'" Shank: "I've seen it twice in 18 hours on the IMAX!!!!"
It's good, people. See it. Particularly see it if you are a female because there are plenty of shots of men dressed and looking like the man below who are throwing spears, while shirtless, in slow motion. I'm not saying, I'm just saying. And what I'm saying is "Yum."
In other news, here are my two favorite photos from St. Patty's day weekend. Enjoy those, too.
I may have a full inbox, but we're doing this first!
So every year RJ and I do this thing where we list our top five favorite movies of the year. Then we compare their total, cumulative IMDB scores and the person with the higher score wins dinner. You may be thinking that this would be a more admirable activity if there were no competition involved, but then you would clearly know nothing about either RJ or myself. Because we are competitive people. Anyway, here we go!
Gubra: Sure, we all know that there's no way Yasmin Ahmad makes a film that I'm able to see and it's not my favorite of the year. Gubra, her second film following the character Orked, is a much more mature, serious and ultimately depressing film than the romantic Sepet. But it's also more beautifully written and thought provoking. You can only get this shit off of eBay, so if you do it, get Sepet too, because watching Orked transition from a believer to a non-believer is only effective if you've seen the first film. There's a third one out that I hope they screen at sfiff this year. I wrote some stuff when I first saw it. (imdb rating: 7.2)
Wild Tigers I Have Known: I'm pretty sure that the first time I saw this movie I thought it had some pretty big issues and I was all like "Cam Archer, whatever have you done?" But the thing about this movie -- it's maybe not so much about any of the issues and ALL ABOUT the feeling it leaves you with, which I still have now, six months later. Sadness and hope and this surreal feeling about emotional development. I said it better the first time, I think. (imdb rating: 5.9)
007: Casino Royale: WHATTUP I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO MUCH!!!!!!! And no, before you say it, my love of this movie is only partially about Daniel Craig coming out of the ocean in his boy shorts. Every action sequence was amazing. The evolution of the Bond character who, to me in my thirties had become pretty flat, was enough to hold your interest through all three endings that this film had. Judi Dench - need I say more? It was sexy. It was hot. It was entertaining. And the thing that the moviemakers want to hear the most - it will make me go see the next Daniel Craig Bond flick. (imdb rating: 7.9)
The Descent: You know, I have to say that this fifth spot was a toss up and there are a lot of quality films in the honorable mentions pile below. But I'm a sucker for a good horror film. And what I appreciated (though I'm a bit ashamed to say it) about this film is how it portrayed women as strong and kick ass, but also so petty that they'll literally give each other up to monsters over having slept with each other's men, which I think is the true dichotomy of women. Plus, this movie scares the shit out of you if you watch it in the right circumstances. (I think I said this the first time). (imdb rating: 7.5)
Total imdb score: 35.5 (my love of that Cam Archer movie brought me down, man)
Making the honorable mention list this year were: Borat: Because seriously, I'm not above that. And I love the rodeo scene. And I laughed my booty off (though unfortunately not literally). The Departed: But mostly just because Leo was HAWT because those last five minutes ruined a lot for me. My Rewatch of Cinema Paradiso: Still the best three minutes in closing a film ever. I wrote about this when I rewatched it. Little Miss Sunshine: It is that good. Some poeple say it's not. They have quiet lives not full of crazy folk. Illumination: It's very lovely. If you can handle grey. But lovely nonetheless. I wrote about this when I saw it.
Queen Bees and Wanna Bes: But honestly, speaking of things that changed my life, I really did get a better understanding of myself when I read this. And talked about it again and again. It's not the best read you'll ever get, but if you're female, it will help you understand yourself A LOT better.
The World is Flat: And the G-Man cringes that this is on the list. I'm sorry, I know he has an agenda. But the observations, on-site visits and predictions in this book are unapologetic and I dig them. And if you haven't read it, then don't complain later when you don't understand the capitalisitc approach to globalization that's going to rule. Here's what I wrote the first time.
There are other fantastic books I read this year, but they were re-reads and I don't want to count them. You can, as always, see everything I read last year here.
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