Let's Answer Some Email! It'll Be Painless!

Lots of email that made me think this week. Lots of people saying things better than I could. Lots of interesting dialogue that distracted me from work and that other situation. Let's answer some of it live, shall we?

From Red Delicious (how's that for a badass alias, ma'am?):

"Just read your blog and how you've been sad lately about things, namely about not having a child yet.

I know you didn't ask for my advice, but since I have a couple kids, I thought I could help out.

First of all, Jocelyn gets what Jocelyn wants. If you haven't gotten something yet, it's because you haven't wanted it enough.

Second, don't become wistful because that is not reality. Kids bring tremendous and immeasurable amounts of love and joy and astonishment, but also tremendous and immeasurable amounts of fear and sorrow and guilt. I love my kids more than life itself. They are God's gift to me, and I take my job as their mom more seriously than I probably should. They bring deep down joy and happiness and so much fun to us. They've taught me more about myself than I thought possible, and more about God and the world than my own experiences have. BUT, on a day like today, I might've given them to a gypsy if there were any gypsies roaming around! Disrespectful and demanding, whining and yelling, wasteful and so messy; these are all things that come with kids.

So I think what I'm saying is, when you feel ready enough, and in God's time, you will be a mother. When it is meant to be, it will be. Just make sure you go into this phase of your life with a very realistic outlook."

That bold is hard to read, eh? I couldn't think of a better technique.

And, of course, she's right and that was an important reality check. Let's address a few things.

"Jocelyn gets what Jocelyn wants."
It's true. And listen, there are two elements here. One is that I get that I haven't wanted it enough to really make it happen because I'm aware that if it were ALL I wanted, I'd have it by now. I will be the first to admit that I'm always the girl who leaves the party with one pinky finger tightly wrapped around the brass rail on the bar, screaming for a final raspberry martini and a last dance. And I mean that metaphorically about life, not literally about last weekend. So you're right. If I were totally ready, it would have happened by now. And honestly, I thought I was and then the situation changed. Which is about the second element.

Because there's an element to wanting and finding that aren't in my control, right? If other people don't want it too, there's nothing I can do about that, right? And of course the logical answer is that subconsciously I seek out people who aren't really ready for that so that I have an excuse to have that last raspberry martini and rock out to some Abba. I guess maybe that's an excuse, except that on this particular day I feel like it's not me making the choice. But you're right. You're right.

Secondly, you should always give mom advice. Becasue you're one of the best moms I've ever seen. I'm glad you let me share your advice with everybody.

From Luscious Lisa (I'm on a roll with the names, ya'll):

"What are the point of relationships, really? Are they so we won't be alone? They provide company, this is true. Possibly a safe sexual environment. Then again, did you know that most Hep B occurs in heterosexual people and not drug users or homosexuals? Just a bit of trivia there."

Firstly, thanks for the uplifting trivia, Lis. I feel better now.

I will answer. I mean, obviously it's left over from when we were cave people and it was necessary in order to preserve life and children and such. That's such a cynical thing for me to say, isn't it? That relationships have nothing to do with our deep emotional need for companionship or love, that it's because thousands of years ago babies would die and the
species wouldn't flourish without two people to support the life of a child. What is wrong with me? Or, more precisely, what's got me feeling so cynical? But anyway, once, like three years ago, I wrote a poem about this.

Seriously - that's my answer. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Ho says:
"I gotta believe a lot of those muscles in "300" were CGI ..."

Shut up, Ho. You will not ruin this for me!

Catwoman says:
"I am sorry (el situation) went that far out of control. It is baby mama drama without the baby. Beware the breakdown man. He is responsible for this result and must learn from this. Resist the temptation to nurture and act with the extreme empathy at which you are so good, it could result in inertia. Remember, you are a Goddess, and I love you. A bender was in order, regardless if it were of magnanimously embarrassing proportion."

Why I love her (other than she's always right): She just justified my bender of embarassing proportion.

And finally, this story unfolded this week:
Ferris: http://www.postgazette.com/pg/07081/771527-55.stm. Sad. I don't think I've ever given the thing a second thought, up until when they said it won't be there anymore.

Pookie: I guess we'll have to buy it. Then load it on a flatbed truck and take it on a cross country road trip called "Go West, Big Jim -- Go West." Now, all we need is $10,000 each......it is sad...i've passed that statue so many times it's become part of my subconscious...

Ferris: We'll cross the country with it, finding out a lot about ourselves and America along the way. Finally, upon arriving in San Francisco, Big Jim becomes a gay icon, but during its triumphant (yet ill advised) parade down Lombard Street it teeters over and kills Pookie. Ferris, in a fit of anger, curses the day the steel giant was ever created; the statue gains sentience and in a fit of remorse, throws itself into the Bay. It is never seen again, and Ferris ends his days working in a coal mine.

And then, magically, it was saved.

Thanks for all the email this week. It was good.