Madonna Tribute - Cast of Glee
Why I Feel Sorry for Mark McGwire
Listen, before you immediately get irate that I would dare to defend Mark McGwire's wretched and reprehensible and clearly un-baseball and therefore un-American actions, let me just tell you where this argument is going, then you can calm down before reading on.
The argument is not that Mark McGwire's actions were in some way ok. The argument is that other people who have done far worse things than cheat at baseball in a way that, at the time, wasn't even necessarily considered cheating are not about to be subjected to a life of misery in the same way that Mark McGwire is about to be subjected to a life of misery.
Got it? Ok. So, we can discuss now.
Right on. So I feel really badly for the guy. Because, at base, I think what happened is that the guy made a bad decision. And then that bad decision got away from him in a way that he couldn't get out from under, and before he knew it, it was easier to just hide in the bad decision than stop the bad decision. And frankly, I'd be surprised if anybody I know hasn't experienced that - it's just that we haven't experienced it on a massive world stage with media in our face and the expectation of a nation and its national past time on our steroid enhanced shoulders.
I choose to believe that when Mark McGwire started using steroids it was because he was trying to extend the lifespan of his career. I choose to believe this for two reasons. Firstly, because it's far less absurd than to believe that when Mark McGwire started using steroids he was hatching a master plan to become a home run king and the icon of baseball (though ironically he will be an icon regardless).
Secondly, because the desire to extend your career when you're a professional athlete makes perfectly good sense. If you are an MLB player (or for that matter and NFL player, an NHL player, an NBA player or any other professional athlete), what that means is that for your entire life, every waking minute, you have been defined by your sport. You have been made to understand that you are valuable because of your talent, and most likely question your value (or lack there of) when that begins to wane. Your schedule, your life, your decisions, your expectations and the expectations of those around you? All driven by your talent and your skill in your sport. When you see that starting to slip away, imagine the fear that would begin to wrench in your gut. Until your mid thirties (if you're lucky), you have known who you are and what you're supposed to do. And suddenly, that's about to disappear. In fact, the short lived ESPN soap opera Playmakers handled this topic quite well, though that is not why you should watch Playmakers.1 And if you thought you could extend that by even a year or two, wouldn't you try to do that?
So I think Mark McGwire did that. And it didn't really work, and so he kept going. Because he was hoping it would. And he just wanted a few more years before everything he'd always believed that he was went away.
And then they started working. And suddenly he was a hero. And not just a hero, a hero that the MLB needed to save the sport. To save America's sport. And as the steroids kicked in, and he began to realize that they were kicking in and changing him, I believe there had to be a part of his brain, somewhere, that knew something wasn't right. But the world was watching now. What would you do? Would you have the strength to stop? When all of America was telling you that you could be a hero, not just for a season, but forever in the history of baseball because it was you and your amazing home run streak that was saving the sport in one of its darkest hours, would you have the strength stop? When the career, and the only thing that you knew as a self definition, wasn't just finding a way to last a few more years but was flourishing in a way you barely remembered, would you have the strength to stop? And when it wasn't about you any more, when it was about the fans and the media and the sport, would you have the strength to stop? I doubt that you would. And we are all good people. But I doubt that if we put ourselves in that spot -- having gone from the moment of almost losing everything we had ever known about ourselves and what makes us special to being, once again, special -- I doubt that we would know how to make ourselves stop.
I think Mark McGwire made a bad decision, and unfortunately it got away from him and he couldn't get out from under it. We all talk about how he should have been man enough to come clean earlier, but we don't know how hard that would have been. We're quick to say he was weak. But our lives aren't his life. Is it ultimately reprehensible? Yes. There is no argument there. Is it, however, understandable how it could have grown into something he couldn't escape? That's also a yes if you ask me.
And here's the thing, he's going to be punished. And I don't just mean because he won't ever get into the hall of fame.
For a moment in time, Mark McGwire was the man who saved baseball. Can you imagine what that felt like? Even if somewhere in his heart he knew it wasn't entirely fair, he was still the man who saved baseball. The man who made the home run record history. Not even Bonds has that. During Bonds' run, he was plagued by the steroid issue and the "Wow, that guy is an ass" issue. But Mark McGwire? He was a hero. He was an American hero, because he was a baseball hero.
He was an icon.
He'll be an icon as well. In the history of baseball, he'll be the man with whom it all started. The man who tainted the home run records and the sport with steroids. In some ways, if he'd never come forward, Bonds would own that. And while Mark McGwire would have known in his heart that he wasn't the hero everybody made him out to be, he wouldn't be the villain either. I, personally, don't think there's any value in his current coming clean. We were all ready to put the issue behind us. Bonds was our villain, and, frankly, that guy probably deserves it. McGwire could have faded away in silence. He didn't, and worse than taking away a moment in baseball during that summer home run race that we all look to as "what that sport should be like", he's also now publicly branded himself as quite the liar. He's killed a hero, a hero that we were willing to complacently believe in against all evidence, and that hero was himself.
I believe that it is entirely possible that Mark McGwire may never experience a truly happy day again in his life. I believe that he will be treated as the man who ruined baseball, despite the fact that we're the ones who begged him to be the man who saved baseball, no matter what it took. I believe he will hate himself and what he's become for the rest of his life. I believe that you see that in his eyes when you look at his interview. And maybe I'm a sucker. Maybe this move is all really just about trying to get in the hall of fame. But I believe he knows he's never getting in there. I believe this confession is because things that grow inside you can sometimes get too big to stay inside of you. They can crush you from the inside out. He could have stayed quiet. And Bonds would be the villain. And we were ready to forget McGwire's possible transgression. Now we won't. I believe Mark McGwire may never experience a truly happy day again.
And I wonder if that's fair?
The guy cheated at baseball. Seriously, that's all he did. He cheated at baseball. There are people in the world who have ruined people financially, who have committed crimes, who have exploited women and children, who have taken advantage of those less smart, who have acted not just selfishly but maliciously towards others. People who have started wars. People who have committed genocides. People who have taken more from the world than they put back in. People who are cruel. People who have destroyed other people's lives through apathy and violence and selfishness and mis-used power. And all of these people, or at least many of them, will spend many if not all of their remaining days experiencing happiness. None of them, even the worst of them, are about to be crowned America's Anti-Christ the way Mark McGwire is going to be. And there's something wrong there. That as a nation, we care more about making sure that a man who cheated at baseball suffers more than, say, a politician who passes legislation that he knows to be detrimental to children because his campaign fund contributors are in favor of the financial benefits of that legislation. Or human traffickers. Why don't we want to post the pictures of human slave traffickers up and make them feel our hatred and resentment and disappointment for decades? But it seems we may have reserved that privilege for a baseball player.
I'm not sure, in the end, if the punishment will fit the crime. Hitler was possibly the worst human to ever exist on the planet. Chances are that when he shot himself, he actually felt pretty good about having "cleansed" the earth. Should Mark McGwire get lined up for 30 years of public hatred because he cheated at baseball? Does something seem unbalanced here?
But I suppose the world is what the world is. And I should know that. It just seems like Mark McGwire was not the only player in the quest to make Mark McGwire a hero. American baseball fans as a collective played a part in that. And heroes always eventually fall.
But Mark, if you're out there any where, I hope one day not long from now you hit a baseball off a Louisville Slugger in a quiet park somewhere and remember a time before all of this. I really do.
Footnote:
1The reason that you should watch Playmakers is because there is also a storyline about a secretly gay football player and, in one scene, the secretly gay football player's lover rushes onto the football field DURING PRACTICE and yells "IF YOU THINK HE HAS SOFT HANDS ON THE FIELD, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM IN BED!!!!" I didn't make that up. If you don't believe me, I own the dvds and you can borrow them.
The argument is not that Mark McGwire's actions were in some way ok. The argument is that other people who have done far worse things than cheat at baseball in a way that, at the time, wasn't even necessarily considered cheating are not about to be subjected to a life of misery in the same way that Mark McGwire is about to be subjected to a life of misery.
Got it? Ok. So, we can discuss now.
Right on. So I feel really badly for the guy. Because, at base, I think what happened is that the guy made a bad decision. And then that bad decision got away from him in a way that he couldn't get out from under, and before he knew it, it was easier to just hide in the bad decision than stop the bad decision. And frankly, I'd be surprised if anybody I know hasn't experienced that - it's just that we haven't experienced it on a massive world stage with media in our face and the expectation of a nation and its national past time on our steroid enhanced shoulders.
I choose to believe that when Mark McGwire started using steroids it was because he was trying to extend the lifespan of his career. I choose to believe this for two reasons. Firstly, because it's far less absurd than to believe that when Mark McGwire started using steroids he was hatching a master plan to become a home run king and the icon of baseball (though ironically he will be an icon regardless).
Secondly, because the desire to extend your career when you're a professional athlete makes perfectly good sense. If you are an MLB player (or for that matter and NFL player, an NHL player, an NBA player or any other professional athlete), what that means is that for your entire life, every waking minute, you have been defined by your sport. You have been made to understand that you are valuable because of your talent, and most likely question your value (or lack there of) when that begins to wane. Your schedule, your life, your decisions, your expectations and the expectations of those around you? All driven by your talent and your skill in your sport. When you see that starting to slip away, imagine the fear that would begin to wrench in your gut. Until your mid thirties (if you're lucky), you have known who you are and what you're supposed to do. And suddenly, that's about to disappear. In fact, the short lived ESPN soap opera Playmakers handled this topic quite well, though that is not why you should watch Playmakers.1 And if you thought you could extend that by even a year or two, wouldn't you try to do that?
So I think Mark McGwire did that. And it didn't really work, and so he kept going. Because he was hoping it would. And he just wanted a few more years before everything he'd always believed that he was went away.
And then they started working. And suddenly he was a hero. And not just a hero, a hero that the MLB needed to save the sport. To save America's sport. And as the steroids kicked in, and he began to realize that they were kicking in and changing him, I believe there had to be a part of his brain, somewhere, that knew something wasn't right. But the world was watching now. What would you do? Would you have the strength to stop? When all of America was telling you that you could be a hero, not just for a season, but forever in the history of baseball because it was you and your amazing home run streak that was saving the sport in one of its darkest hours, would you have the strength stop? When the career, and the only thing that you knew as a self definition, wasn't just finding a way to last a few more years but was flourishing in a way you barely remembered, would you have the strength to stop? And when it wasn't about you any more, when it was about the fans and the media and the sport, would you have the strength to stop? I doubt that you would. And we are all good people. But I doubt that if we put ourselves in that spot -- having gone from the moment of almost losing everything we had ever known about ourselves and what makes us special to being, once again, special -- I doubt that we would know how to make ourselves stop.
I think Mark McGwire made a bad decision, and unfortunately it got away from him and he couldn't get out from under it. We all talk about how he should have been man enough to come clean earlier, but we don't know how hard that would have been. We're quick to say he was weak. But our lives aren't his life. Is it ultimately reprehensible? Yes. There is no argument there. Is it, however, understandable how it could have grown into something he couldn't escape? That's also a yes if you ask me.
And here's the thing, he's going to be punished. And I don't just mean because he won't ever get into the hall of fame.
For a moment in time, Mark McGwire was the man who saved baseball. Can you imagine what that felt like? Even if somewhere in his heart he knew it wasn't entirely fair, he was still the man who saved baseball. The man who made the home run record history. Not even Bonds has that. During Bonds' run, he was plagued by the steroid issue and the "Wow, that guy is an ass" issue. But Mark McGwire? He was a hero. He was an American hero, because he was a baseball hero.
He was an icon.
He'll be an icon as well. In the history of baseball, he'll be the man with whom it all started. The man who tainted the home run records and the sport with steroids. In some ways, if he'd never come forward, Bonds would own that. And while Mark McGwire would have known in his heart that he wasn't the hero everybody made him out to be, he wouldn't be the villain either. I, personally, don't think there's any value in his current coming clean. We were all ready to put the issue behind us. Bonds was our villain, and, frankly, that guy probably deserves it. McGwire could have faded away in silence. He didn't, and worse than taking away a moment in baseball during that summer home run race that we all look to as "what that sport should be like", he's also now publicly branded himself as quite the liar. He's killed a hero, a hero that we were willing to complacently believe in against all evidence, and that hero was himself.
I believe that it is entirely possible that Mark McGwire may never experience a truly happy day again in his life. I believe that he will be treated as the man who ruined baseball, despite the fact that we're the ones who begged him to be the man who saved baseball, no matter what it took. I believe he will hate himself and what he's become for the rest of his life. I believe that you see that in his eyes when you look at his interview. And maybe I'm a sucker. Maybe this move is all really just about trying to get in the hall of fame. But I believe he knows he's never getting in there. I believe this confession is because things that grow inside you can sometimes get too big to stay inside of you. They can crush you from the inside out. He could have stayed quiet. And Bonds would be the villain. And we were ready to forget McGwire's possible transgression. Now we won't. I believe Mark McGwire may never experience a truly happy day again.
And I wonder if that's fair?
The guy cheated at baseball. Seriously, that's all he did. He cheated at baseball. There are people in the world who have ruined people financially, who have committed crimes, who have exploited women and children, who have taken advantage of those less smart, who have acted not just selfishly but maliciously towards others. People who have started wars. People who have committed genocides. People who have taken more from the world than they put back in. People who are cruel. People who have destroyed other people's lives through apathy and violence and selfishness and mis-used power. And all of these people, or at least many of them, will spend many if not all of their remaining days experiencing happiness. None of them, even the worst of them, are about to be crowned America's Anti-Christ the way Mark McGwire is going to be. And there's something wrong there. That as a nation, we care more about making sure that a man who cheated at baseball suffers more than, say, a politician who passes legislation that he knows to be detrimental to children because his campaign fund contributors are in favor of the financial benefits of that legislation. Or human traffickers. Why don't we want to post the pictures of human slave traffickers up and make them feel our hatred and resentment and disappointment for decades? But it seems we may have reserved that privilege for a baseball player.
I'm not sure, in the end, if the punishment will fit the crime. Hitler was possibly the worst human to ever exist on the planet. Chances are that when he shot himself, he actually felt pretty good about having "cleansed" the earth. Should Mark McGwire get lined up for 30 years of public hatred because he cheated at baseball? Does something seem unbalanced here?
But I suppose the world is what the world is. And I should know that. It just seems like Mark McGwire was not the only player in the quest to make Mark McGwire a hero. American baseball fans as a collective played a part in that. And heroes always eventually fall.
But Mark, if you're out there any where, I hope one day not long from now you hit a baseball off a Louisville Slugger in a quiet park somewhere and remember a time before all of this. I really do.
Footnote:
1The reason that you should watch Playmakers is because there is also a storyline about a secretly gay football player and, in one scene, the secretly gay football player's lover rushes onto the football field DURING PRACTICE and yells "IF YOU THINK HE HAS SOFT HANDS ON THE FIELD, YOU SHOULD SEE HIM IN BED!!!!" I didn't make that up. If you don't believe me, I own the dvds and you can borrow them.
Labels: baseball, mark mcgwire, sports
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