Being means: not numbering and counting, but ripening like a tree, which doesn?t force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it comes only to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly silent and vast. I learn it every day of my life, learn it with pain I am grateful for: patience is everything!
We are called to be fruitful - not successful, not productive, not accomplished. Success comes from strength, stress, and human effort. Fruitfulness comes from vulnerability and the admission of our own weakness. sometimes...i read lovely stuff. sometimes...not.
Gilead - Marilynne Robinson
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If we do not bear the cross of the Master, we will have to bear the cross of the world, with all its earthly goods. Which cross have you taken up? Pause and consider. i would die without my iPodBonnie Summerville - "Long Road "
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There are many people who are sincere without being simple: they are ever afraid of being seen for what they are not; they are always musing over their words and thoughts and thinking about what they have done, in fear of having done or said too much. These people are sincere, but they are not simple: they are not at ease with others, and other people are not at ease with them. There is nothing easy about them, nothing free, spontaneous or natural. People who are imperfect, less regular, less masters of themselves, are more lovable. This is how people find them, and it is the same with God.

i am never satisfiedStill New Asics Gel Kayanos

or anything from my wishlist

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A brother said to an old man, ?I do not know of any warfare in my heart.? The old man said to him, ?Then you are a building open on all four sides. Whatever wishes to, goes in and out, and you do not notice. If you had windows and a door, and shut them so as to bar certain thoughts, you would soon realize how many there are outside, waiting to slip in and attack you.?

i fear fatoff day

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I know that life is a doorway to eternity, and yet my heart so often gets lost in petty anxieties. It forgets the great way home that lies before it. Unprepared, given over to childish trivialities, it could be taken by surprise when the great hour comes and find that, for the sake of piffling pleasures, the one great joy has been missed. I am aware of this, but my heart is not. It seems unteach- navigate around, why don't you?
what i wrote yesterday
back to the homepage
everything ever. sort of.
sometimes...poetry
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math
there are basic statistical proportions and, well, that's not always a good thing.
posted on: 11/17/05
original post date: 17/15/05

So last night before bed I was watching some thing on CourtTV about life behind bars in some New England state, and those convicts? Insane. Something is not wired right there.

And then I went to see Get Rich or Die Tryin', which by the way is actually a pretty good movie if you can stand the violence and aren't bothered by the whole gansta glorification thing. I mean, it's better than some movies, worse than others. Anyway, my point here is that in a movie theater where our own darthferris actually sees movies, a person was shot after a showing of Get Rich or Die Tryin'. You know what that is? Crazy.

And then I was in Wal-Mart yesterday (Don't ask...but I promise there was a good reason I was in there). And I was standing around waiting for somebody to get something, and while standing around, I was watching all of the Wal-Mart shoppers robotically move through the store with this laser-focused look in their eyes when they passed that flat screens. And that look? That look was crazy.

And it dawned on me. As we overpopulate the earth and expand human kind into population numbers not ever intended by God or nature, it only makes sense that the proportion of crazy will stay the same, thus leading to more and more crazy people in raw numbers.

Maybe my resentment of the pharmaceutical industry is mis-placed. Maybe there really are that many people who require meds. I personally can't really function without them. Ask anybody who had to deal with me when I was switching two months ago.

Maybe it all makes sense.

Also, did you know that there's actual statistical evidence that the y-chromosome is disappearing and eventually we'll be an almost all-female race with a genetically surprising male born every so many just so that we have enough sperm going on? Talk amongst yourselves about whether that's a good thing or not.

That's all. I just wanted to say that it had dawned on me that there was a reason there seemed to be so much crazy in the world.

I believe we will be returning to feminism next week. On Sunday, I'm sure I'll want to write about the awesome thing I am seeing on Saturday. I need to get a copy of the "Best of Budd Grebb" quotes before I explain who he is. It's really senseless without that.

People in Pittsburgh - I'm there from December 17th until December 28th. Email me.


What on earth were you doing in Wal Mart?
Crazy is as crazy does.
Copyright 2004, 2005 Jocelyn Saurini
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