The Pugilist at Rest Mozart, "Requium" There really is no time to play when you spend half the month traveling. Rosebud Soap Company Lip Balm - Still Or, anything from my wish list.

Speaking of Drum Circles... Why you do not date a Northern California boy... Post Date: 10/28/04 Original Journal Date: circa 1999 I am in Peru until the 8th of November. Sweet. Until then, here's an oldie but goodie to tie you over. We're in the car. We're driving back across the bridge at night, back into the city, which is all lit up and perfect and the way I love it at night. And it is peaceful, and it is electric, and I am all busy being thankful that I live in such an amazing city. Amazing. And Jen shifts uncomfortably in her seat, and then this happens. Jen You know, my roommate Jeff has a crush on you. Me Jeff the lawyer? Jen Yeah. Me Cute Jeff? Jen Yeah, if you say so. I can't think of him like that. Me Jeff the lawyer with the cute eyes? Jen Yeah. That's the one, you know, being that I only live with one Jeff and all. Should I set something up with the two of you? He thinks you're really cute. And fun. He's got a crush and all. Me Yeah. Totally. Set something up. It'll be so fun. Jeff is neat. And cute. And then I revel for another moment as we come out of the tunnel onto the second half of the bridge about how lucky I am to live in this beautiful, amazing city with its available collection of cute boy lawyers/entrepreneurs/accountants, etc. How rocking is that? I have the BEST life ever. And then, Jen shifts uncomfortably again. And then ... this. Jen Uh, you know, there's really something I think I should tell you before you have me set something up. Me He thinks he may be gay? Jen Uh, no. Me He's already dating somebody? Jen No, not that either. Though that would be typical. Me Medical condition? Jen No, but maybe just as bad. Me How bad can it be? Jen He joined a men's group. Me A what? Jen A men's group. Me What's a men's group? Jen Are you sure you want to know about this? I mean, I feel a little bit uncomfortable. He asked me to see if you were interested, and you are, and I kind of feel like it's not really my place to say things that might influence you one way or the other, you know. Like if you're both interested I should just let it ride, you know, instead of interfering with some information that you may or may not find, um, like, a reason to not go out with him. Me Okay. Well, I think you need to ask yourself this. If the situation were reversed, would you want me to tell you this information? Because I promise you, if there's something I should know, and you don't tell me, then you can be assured that the next promising looking man I introduce you to will have penis warts that you will later discover in the worst way. So, wanna come clean? What's a men's group? Jen It's a group of men who get together to discuss, you know, what it's like to be men. Me What it's like to be men? Jen Yeah, you know, like in a sensitive manner. They want to be emotionally supportive of each other in the, you know, struggle of being men. Me The struggle of being men? Jen Yeah, it's apparently hard to be a man in this day and age of sensitive men and, you know, they want to support that. Me Are you shitting me? Jen No. I'm not. This exists. I wish I were shitting you. Me Is it, like, a gay exploration thing? Jen No, just men being sensitive. Me I regret that we ever created this sensitive breed of men. Jen It's mostly just men in the Pacific Northwest. Me Yeah, but it'll eventually spread. This stuff always eventually spreads. It's like a virus. Jen Um, so what do you think? Me It's ridiculous, but it's not that bad. I mean, as long as they're not like chanting and doing drum circles and stuff like a bunch of New Agers, I'm okay with it. Jen Um... Me JEN! NO! Jen Yeah, and it's worse than that. Me Don't hold back now. Jen Naked. Me NO! Jen Naked drumming. They feel it makes them, you know, more comfortable in their vulnerability. Me Why was this not the first thing you told me, and, also, EW. Jen I know. Me Naked drumming while they talk about their feelings? I HATE this breed of sensitive men. Hate them. Hate women for creating them. Hate us right now for saying we wanted men who were more in touch with their feelings. Jen So you, like, don't want me to set something up, do you? Me NO. Naked drum circles where they talk about how they feel. Who decided this was okay for men? I hate that we've created men who actually think this is something we would want. Just, EW. Jen That's what I thought. And there went my good feeling about living in a fantastic city with such exciting men, because I, in fact, live in Northern California where our men eat a special brand of granola that tells them that it's okay to drum naked in a circle while talking about their feelings. And I really am bitter, because women, in a classic move, wrote a million magazine articles and went on dozens of episodes of Oprah and Sally Jesse and did nothing but talk about how we wanted men who were more sensitive and more in touch with their emotions. And, ladies, this is what we got. We didn't say, "We'd really like it if when you're sad you talk about it instead of bottle it all in." No. What we said was, "We really want men who cry regularly." That's not what we wanted. I know you know this. That's not what we ever wanted. But because we're women, we pushed it and pushed it and pushed it, and now we have MEN WHO GET NAKED AND BEAT DRUMS WHILE THEY TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A MAN AND HAVE ALL OF THESE EMOTIONS. And if it's not happening in your neighborhood yet, it will. Maybe it is and they're just hiding it while you think they're at their weekly poker game. We did this, women. We wanted men who cried. Now we've got it. He's cute. He's a lawyer. He's smart. He wears Banana Republic. So far, perfect, right? Oh, and by the way, once a week he gets naked and cries while drumming with a bunch of other men. Excellent. I will, for now, stick with my vibrator. At least my vibrator does not need to cuddle and talk after sex while telling me he needs me to respect the child inside him. ARGHHHHHH. Men are still like this. In fact, it's gotten worse. Whatever. Have fun in Peru.