All About Bob Dylan
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, "Good Vibrations"
There really is no time to play when you spend half the month traveling.
Rosebud Soap Company Lip Balm - Still Or, anything from my wish list.
That I am body beautiful. Post Date: 10/25/04
Original Journal Date: 10/25/04 Today I ran fourteen miles in two hours, which is pretty good time. Of course, now my legs feel like tree stumps, but work with me. Here is my point (I mean, other than soliciting you to say to me, "Jocelyn, fourteen miles in two hours is AWESOME!"), I ran fourteen miles in two hours, and in the course of the week I'll run another twenty or so miles on top of that total. Yet I still have to use firming gel on my upper thighs to control the cellulite problem there -- which honestly is probably more of an imagined cellulite problem. How absurd is that? There are moments, if I'm running indoors on the treadmill or the track, where I look over while I'm running and I want to cry because I can see the cellulite in my upper thighs in the mirror. Obsessive? Yes. I concur. Here's another one. I wear a size six clothing size. I weigh in the coveted one-twenties range. I understand that I am not a large woman. Yet I look in the mirror and cry at least once a week about body fat and how much I hate my hips, stomach and thighs. Oh, and sometimes my calves, too. Obsessive? Yes. I concur. Neurotic? Absolutely? One step short of being the next Dr. Phil show? God, I hope not. But people, I didn't do this to myself. I mean, I did. I allowed myself to care and be sucked in by the unreasonable expectations of what size a woman should be. But I didn't create those expectations. So it's not really my fault, while at the same time being my fault. Excellent. So I can't win here, is what I'm saying. Most women can't. Increasingly, most men can't either. And even as I write that, I know I don't believe it. Because I've gone on record a number of times as saying that I also don't believe that this whole "love your body no matter what" philosophy is okay either. You really shouldn't love your body if your fifteen pounds overweight and eating McDonalds and drinking full sugar coke. And I know I'm no role model for a proper diet regimen, but you know what I mean. It's not that hard to put the beer and potato chips down and get to the gym every other day or so. Yet, at the same time I believe that, I also believe that we've taken body image too far and I'm evidence of that when I cry in the mirror over the fact that my thighs aren't as skinny as I'd want them to be. And if you think I sound crazy, then you haven't talked to enough women in your life, because I promise you we all have a basic conundrum that's just like the one I laid out. It's just about whether we're willing to admit to you that we're crazy or not. That is all. In a less neurotic note...
I saw I Heart Huckabees last night. I loved it because I love a)Marky Mark, b)Disjointed examinations of existentialism that don't fall into the overly dramatic and blown out philosophical discussions that are exactly what I hate about most poets and philosophers, b)Humorous examinations of corporate salesmen and d)cinematography centered around bright colors. A few other notes:
- When did Jason Schwartzman get hot? Seriously.
- Jude Law's character could have been an incredibly interesting and captivating character, but they wrote him just shy of really being that. Though Jude Law himself was quite funny and good, even if I don't get why women think he's so hot.
- I came out of Garden State saying that the scene at the breakfast table where Jean Smart was the mother and the Medieval Times knight was there was my favorite single scene on film of the year, but that has been trumped by the scene at the dinner table in
- I Heart Huckabees where Jean Smart is the mother of the family that adopted the Nigerian refugee.
- That said, neither Garden State nor I Heart Huckabees were my favorite movies of the year. That might be a tie between Love Me If You Dare and Twenty-Eight Days Later and Kill Bill Volume Two. I'd have to really think about which of those I liked the most.
Since I'll be in Peru for Halloween this year, Wednesday night is the night I'll be reading Goblin Market and watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!. This makes me happy. Except that I will miss having Paul Jack there to watch the cartoon. But it makes me happy nonetheless.