Still 10 pounds off of my middle.

or anything from my wishlist

Run 3, Abs 100

Perhaps you have been wondering where I've been since August 20th? I wish it were a sexy answer, but unfortunately, it's just a lot of work. And also, after a decade of enjoying sanity most of the time, I'm coming off the Xanax to try a more holistic herbal solution. That requires me to be med free for a period of time, so that's...interesting. Anyway, we'll probably talk a lot more about that later. Assuming I can return enough to a normal schedule to update regularly. In the mean time, five shorter catch-ups and then we discuss March of the Penguins in long-awaited detail.

Speaking of Movies...
I'm sure you've all heard the raves about The Forty Year Old Virgin. It's a little on the longish end, but really is that funny. Especially if you know guys like that. I recommend highly. For laughs. I mostly recommend the musical number at the end, but the dork scenes are funny too. And the friends are funny. And Paul Rudd is my boyfriend.

Broken Flowers is perfectly beautiful, but we know I'm partial to Jarmuch. Did I spell his name wrong? Anyway, it's the deadly slowest film you will watch this year, but it's dreamy. And the visual themes are enough to keep you interested. There were moments where there was so much silence on the screen that I was literally uncomfortable. Did you see it? Did you hate it? I know people who hated it. But I did not. I did not hate it at all.

Speaking of Things I Do Not Hate...
This. I'm going. By myself. But not really by myself because my Jovi-loving people will be with me.

Speaking of Loving People...
Had a lovely trip to San Diego with much beach time while I was checked out of ILovePaulJack. That's such a nice city. Had a fantastic meal here. Did a lot of shopping. Walked on the beach for hours. Relaxed. Needed it. Oddly, ended up without a working internet connection and was forced to relax. That was good.

But speaking of relaxation...
I was not relaxed when I found out Zelda was delayed, but then Paul sent me this and it acted like a crack drug. Didn't fix it, but made it better.

And speaking of things that won't be made better...
Katrina. But I have to tell you I come down in the middle. Did the federal government totally fail? Yes. Obviously. Did they fail with a magnitude so appaling I begin to post personal ads in Canada? Absolutely. And also, I would make a good Canadian girlfriend. But does any of that mean people should start roving the streets in cars shooting off guns and raping women? I mean, I guess the reality is we are just animals when put in survival situations, but I would have wanted to believe we were a kinder, gentler race who cared for each other. I'm not going to ponder it in great detail right now because I'm still working out where I come down on some of the issues. I'm just going to wait and let it sit in my stomach for a while.

But finally, speaking of kinder, gentler races...
The penquinos. Different people took different things away from that movie. A certain adorable boy from Pittsburgh said, "The thing about the penguins is that they live their life with a purpose. How many of us can say that?"

And, not to over talk my confusion about Katrina, but I suppose that's true. I don't necessarily feel purposeful, and I'm actually one of the most purposeful people I know. But is there one biological, spiritual or moral imperative that drives my day-to-day life? Not really. I'm comfortable enough putting any of those things away if it suits me, so I can't be all that wrapped up in purpose. And maybe that showed a little bit in Katrina...both in the governmental officals, who clearly weren't leading a purpose-driven life if their purpose was to protect and serve. And the people of New Orleans? Listen, please don't confuse me with somebody who doesn't understand that many people would have struggled to find the cash to evacuate, but can you possibly feel any type of purpose at all in life and still choose to stay in a situation wherein you know there is a better than average chance that you are putting your life at risk? I know were it me I would have started walking rather than risk having my life taken. I guess I'm just saying that while it would in many ways be more limiting, it would also be more satisfying to live a life driven by a single purpose. How do you suppose the penguins feel upon completing all of that struggle and then seeing the final site of their offspring as they leave for the last time? I'm supposing it's unlike anything we know, even if they can't consciously understand it. I be they feel it.

And then, in one of the most lovely things you'll be reading any time soon, Pat R. of Boston wrote of the film:

"It's fairly easy to empathize with the losses the penguins, but I cried at seeing how nature could produce birds - males and females - that were so capable of such commitment - even on a yearly basis - to endure what they do, to have an infant and insure its safety, thereby perpetuating its existence. That was awesome, deep and so intense. I wondered why mankind cannot produce such commitment among its adults to do the same, despite their easier climate, their enormous brains, and all their technology. I think that's nature at its most spectacular, and really worth the rare tears that delight with such joy and hope, bowing to the awesome complexity of Nature to astound and be a guide for humans. That's why I think it’s a great film - to see what animals, including humans - are capable of!"

We clearly love Pat here, though when I read that to RJB he immediately tried to ruin it for me by saying, "I don't know many men who can't be faithful for nine months." Because he did not get it. And I really can't add much to the sentiment of that because it's so dead on.

But what I can do is say that that of course got me spinning on the whole concept of life purpose and how humans are, in my opinion, not anywhere near our natural state at this point in our evolution. I bet there was a time, long, long, long, long, long ago when we were able to exhibit such commitment, if not physically than at least emotionally, because we felt a purpose to expand and grow and develop the amazing gift of human intellect, which is such an amazing gift. We were purpose driven to become the best version of humans that we could.

Somewhere, though, that ended and I'm sure we don't know how or why (though you know if you ask me I'm going to point to whenever it was that spirituality became religion -- or I might make an argument that it was when we stopped living in nature and started controlling nature). And without that purpose to guide us, there's no way we can ever reach the level of awesomeness of the penguins. And really, I guess I don't get to say too much about that because I spent my day working on an online postcard application featuring women's booties and planning for my hedonistic trip to LA this weekend. But I bet if you put me in the mountains for a month I'd find a new light in side that felt a lot closer to the one that ignites the penguins.

That's right. This is what you missed while I was busy working.