Being means: not numbering and counting, but ripening like a tree, which doesn?t force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it comes only to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly silent and vast. I learn it every day of my life, learn it with pain I am grateful for: patience is everything!
We are called to be fruitful - not successful, not productive, not accomplished. Success comes from strength, stress, and human effort. Fruitfulness comes from vulnerability and the admission of our own weakness. sometimes...i read lovely stuff. sometimes...not.
Chloe Does Yale
quote
If we do not bear the cross of the Master, we will have to bear the cross of the world, with all its earthly goods. Which cross have you taken up? Pause and consider. i would die without my iPod
the boston philharmonic directed by john williams- "zelda's theme "
quote
There are many people who are sincere without being simple: they are ever afraid of being seen for what they are not; they are always musing over their words and thoughts and thinking about what they have done, in fear of having done or said too much. These people are sincere, but they are not simple: they are not at ease with others, and other people are not at ease with them. There is nothing easy about them, nothing free, spontaneous or natural. People who are imperfect, less regular, less masters of themselves, are more lovable. This is how people find them, and it is the same with God.

i am never satisfied
both of us in the mood at the same time.

or anything from my wishlist

quote
A brother said to an old man, ?I do not know of any warfare in my heart.? The old man said to him, ?Then you are a building open on all four sides. Whatever wishes to, goes in and out, and you do not notice. If you had windows and a door, and shut them so as to bar certain thoughts, you would soon realize how many there are outside, waiting to slip in and attack you.?

i fear fat
Run - 5 miles

Abs - 350
quote
I know that life is a doorway to eternity, and yet my heart so often gets lost in petty anxieties. It forgets the great way home that lies before it. Unprepared, given over to childish trivialities, it could be taken by surprise when the great hour comes and find that, for the sake of piffling pleasures, the one great joy has been missed. I am aware of this, but my heart is not. It seems unteach- navigate around, why don't you?
what i wrote yesterday
back to the homepage
everything ever. sort of.
sometimes...poetry
quote
a new design and a bunch of random.
when insomnia goes very wrong.
posted on: 6/10/05
original post date: 6/10/05

Hey, look what I stayed up and did tonight! And it's only 10 after 3 in the morning, which means at my current rate I only have, you know, another 50 minutes or so before I actually start to fall asleep.

Sidenote: I'm working on Joel's birthday gift which includes a story about an insomniac, so I'm just calling this research.

Some people hate redesigning. I've been feeling pretty visual lately, plus it's, you know, like buying a notebook with a new cover. Except that if you're me, what you actually do is buy the notebook, fill up thirty pages, buy a new one and then find the old one a month later so that you have ten or twelve half-full notebooks around the house.

Do you like it? That's the actual color scheme of my bedroom you know, except maybe heavier on the pink.

So, CineVegas this weekend. Rock it on.

Hitch
To get the move viewing started off right, we went to see "Hitch" at the dollar theater this evening. Are you going to hate me if I tell you that I LOVED "Hitch?" I mean, fair enough that I could watch Will Smith eat chicken salad on film and still find it captivating, but do you hate me for having LOVED that movie? I mean, LOVED it.

Work
I have been the most awful person at my big client this week. This is largely due to the fact that Amazing Ry is out of town so I had double my work since there wasn't a direct assistant to offload it to. Plus we have a huge product launch this week. That said, this email was sent in reference to me by one of my "staffers" this week:

Alright...there is the situation...Jocelyn yelled at me for about an hour about not having the SBS header done with the email submission box on it. Please get back to me on this ASAP and have it done. I don't want to lose my job!

I mean, yelling? An hour? Upon reading this when it was shown to me, I said, "Yelling is an exageration, and I assure you I did not spend an hour of my day on it, but regardless, you'd be pissy too if you were still waiting on that damn thing two weeks later."

And then, this conversation:

Me
That is so ugly. Are we really going to launch with that?

Him
Well, it was designed by...

Me
I know who it was designed by. That's the fucking problem with him and his fucking design that I fucking consistently hate. Fucking stupid spam fucking graphic. Fuck it.

Him
I mean, with the f-bomb already.

I just get worked up about stuff when I'm stressed, and this launch has me stressed.

But really, the best work story of this week is this IM conversation with shamus and me:

Me: Did you know that this week I had them send a mass email out about betting on the Michael Jackson trail?

shamus: Please don't tell me more.

Me: Here's the test server link so that you can look at it.

shamus: I'm not looking at it. I refuse to participate.

Me: Look how creepy Michael looks in the email header!

shamus: It was like a train wreck. I couldn't not look. I think I hate you now.

Me: Here's the best thing. See that line of text that reads "The end of the trial is sure to be a THRILLER?"

shamus: OhMyGod, I hate you so much right now.

Me: The original version of that email said, "This is nothing to KID around with."

shamus: I have to go.

And so that's it. I'm going to go pretend to sleep now.

Oh, Shadalan. You don't want to be like me. It's not sexually liberated. It's needy.

 
Can I get a copy of that Michael Jackson email?
TURN THE BLUR OFF. MY EYES! MY EYES!