Chloe Does Yale

jack johnson - "holiday" (bite me, shamus)

Don't ask. I'll tell you later.
ending the week with my to-do list empty.

Or, anything from my wish list.

I am Woman, Hear me talk, and talk and talk and talk.
I'm glad I'm not a boy.

Post Date: 6/02/05
Original Journal Date: 6/02/05

I have ponderings on womanhood (womynhood, if you must), but there are shoutouts that need to happen, because I have the singularly most incredible friends in the world.

TonyM - Thank you for being absent but sweet as hell and offering to replace my SF stuff, though, you know, the only things you could really replace are things I'm too embarassed to ask you for. Giggle.

Ho - Thank you for replacing "Playmakers" because "You think he has soft hands on the field? You should see his hands in bed!" is still to my mind the most brilliant television moment of the decade. The decade. And, btw, I'm SO EXCITED that you're coming out for CineVegas. We're going to see eight movies in two days and eat at strange off-strip buffets and watch "My Mother the Mermaid" on dvd. I'm so excited.

Paul Jack - OMG. THANK YOU for replacing the Zelda titles. I love you so much. More than the url indicates. That's a journal entry in and of itself though. Someday...

Lisa - Thank you for everything you said. I needed that.

And now, onto today's topic...WOMYNHOOD.

For the record, I don't reallly spell it like that or buy into it like that or whatnot. But I do believe in the sisterhood. In the value of women and what they have to offer each other. And I struggle with it a little bit because I'm not the kind of girl who easily fits into girl clubs. Smart girls don't want to let me into the "smart girls' club" because I read Cosmo and shop at trendy places and thought "Sex and the City" was an awesome representation of my life and prefer sunbathing and running to watching Masterpiece Theater (which, don't get me wrong, Masterpiece Theater rules, just given the option of that or a run...). But trendy girls aren't so hot to let me into their club either because I talk about "The New Republic" and international film and philosphy, by which I mean the discipline and not the beauty product line. Domestic women? Horrified by my aggressive dating habits and lack of interest in buying a mini-van any time soon. But fiercly independent women? Not so interested in me because I spend too much time volunteering with teenagers and talking to my family.

Men are much, much, much easier for me to relate to and develop friendships with. Their expectations are far lower.

So you see, the female friends that I have are, by necessity, a mix of many different facets, just like me. And I love them. I love them so. Somebody once said, and I can't remember whom, but she said she loved her male friends but she treasured her female friends. And that, I thought, was one of the most accurate statements that related to me ever. And last week, I was feeling a little bit like I needed some girl interactions, so I sent some long, wordy emails to my favorite girl friends. Do you know what men will never be able to give me, no matter how hard I look for it or try to suck it out of them? They will never be able to give me these things:

• A two page email exchange like the one I had with Aim in which we discuss in great length how we both ended up losing our best, most perfect scissors that we used for totally intimate hygiene reasons and how hard it was to find replacements followed by a discussion of name selection for Aim's soon-to-be daughter.
• Something like seven pages with Lisa about surviving and resiliance and the debate on whether society can really ever be close to what we hope it will be.
• Discussion with Jen about learning to compromise in relationships and how you can really only learn that when you're in the right relationship.
• An hour on the phone with Dap talking about boys and fathers and how they change us.

It's just not the same when you talk to men. They don't understand the complexities of being a woman. Sometimes, I know, they envy women because we have so many more options about what we can be, who we can choose to be. Most of my male friends feel in some way or another they're very much in a box of what men should be. And it's true, that women don't have as much of that being put in a box, which is odd since the common assumption is that women very much need to live up to social standards. But I've always felt like it's different than that, and so do a lot of the women I know. Women have it easy -- they get to pick and choose what they want to be every day. Think of all the things I've been or could be: a girl, a woman, a mother, a sister, independent, needy, athletic, boyish, sensual, successful, broken, aggressive, passive, brave, scared, alone, together, in control, submissive, sweet, bitchy, centered, irritable, domestic, cosmopolitan. I could go on, but you see the point. I wake up every day and there are all these things I could be. And they're all a part of being a woman. I don't think I'd have those options, or at least feel as secure in flipping through them, if I were a man.

And it's my girlfriends who understand that and live it too.

And I really treasure that. I should write and call more often, you know?

I'm thankful for a lot of things, but mostly I'm thankful every day that I was born a girl.

That's all.