The Namesake

RitT: Compass and Feathers
Performance Pieces Where to start?

Or, anything from my wish list.

I Promise to Only Ever Visit
Hometime

Why go home...
Gerald says, "Why are you in PA anyway?" And I answer, "Annual scheduled self-revelation time," which is sort of a joke, but also sort of not a joke. Have you ever heard that Gold Chains song, the one with the line, "He rocks the party, she rocks the party, everybody rocks at a Gold Chains party?" That's a lot what I feel like when I'm here. Like I'm rocking at the party with Gold Chains. I always leave feeling more like I can spot my holes than when I got here.

Three Random Notes on Thursday Night
There is a beer, a very good beer that in Vegas costs $15 a bottle, but in Pittsburgh costs $7 a bottle. Guess who's transporting beer back home with her?

I am going to write a journal update on an old story about this place where Joel used to live. You just need to give me time.

Table service? Not so much.

Dialoge Interlude #1
Me
What'd you do today?

Ferris
Bought a washer and dryer. Tomorrow I need to trim the hedges. We're done remodeling the bathrooms, but now we have to paint the living room.

Me
There was a time when you were cool, dude.

I'm serious, these people LOVE their scene...
Next time I go to Soba I'll be sure to wear my appropriate all-black attire and come ready to quote the latest NYT book review. Jesus Christ. I mean, I shouldn’t mock that scene because it's very much my scene and I typically embrace it full on. I just somehow like to believe that I'm a little more authentic in that scene than this guy I was half watching in the bar who accented every third word with this affected maneuver of his cigarette. A maneuver that caused me to have a physically adverse reaction (Jeremy, almost the same reaction you had when you found the Jack Johnson cd in my car). The food was good and I had a big gay crush on my waiter and the company was lovely (really the whole night was). I think the next time I'm out with that person though and he takes me to somewhere with a scene like that I may turn my full-on San Francisco trendster persona on. That's always fun to play with.

Internal Dialoge Interlude #1
Shit, something smells offensively like patchuli. What is that? That is awful. What smells like patchuli? Shit. That's my hair. Damn hippie shampoo.

Personal Message Interlude #1
Listen, I'm not fat, I'm not slacking and I'm not tragically doomed to learn nothing from your mistakes. Give it a rest. Jesus.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE INEFFICIENT BEHAVIOR...
On Saturday, in between deciding it was appropriate to meet my mother for lunch wearing the same clothes I'd worn out the night before and having not brushed my teeth and deciding that what would be AWESOME would be to subject my mother and K-Rock to Peruvian food in Shadyside almost specifically so that Joel and I could relive our trip, it was decided that the best phrase to describe my mindset was, "I WILL NOT TOLERATE INEFFICIENT BEHAVIOR." That may well be true, but I'm just saying that I thought I was amazingly chill about driving around for half an hour looking for a house. One comment after thirty minutes of random driving is not such an explosion, you know?

Personal Message Interlude #2
Dear Laremy, I have seen the all-marble house and I say excellent choice. Very you. No. Seriously.

In France...
K-Rock and I went to see some performance art. I think we all know how I feel about performance art. In this particular performance art, a woman in a gold sequin beret screams the phrase "In FRANCE" in this horrid screeching voice while throwing baguettes at the audience. Oh no, you only WISH I were making this up. But there was a huge crowd there, which is utterly depressing if you live in a city where it's work to get more than 10 people to any event that doesn’t include strippers and slots. That sounded differently than I meant it. But a lovely night.

Self Revelation Interlude #1
There was this card reading. It said I should be doing exactly what I'm currently doing. That I should accept that sometimes life can just be joyous. That I made my own choices about the things that are binding me down right now. That I shouldn't fight it all. All the time. It was funny because at the exact moment I had that reading I was sitting with K-Rock outside a coffee shop on a beautiful night on a neighborhood and I had actually just thought about how grateful I am for my life right now. And I know the only thing that's keeping me from feeling of cotton in my stomach more often is my not wanting it to all be right.

Self Revelation Interlude #2
Look, I'll concede that because I pretty much lay it out there emotionally early on and it's easy to be let inside there can be confusion about my actions possibly not matching up with my words, but really there's no law that a person can't be honest but also genuinely care. To me, that actually seems like a pretty good scenario. I'm just saying. If you choose not to listen to what I'm saying, you somewhat get what you deserve.

Dialogue Interlude #2
Me
So you’re saying that the implementation of the girl was less appealing than the theory behind the girl?

Pookie
I'm saying two things. First, I'm saying that you and I cannot date people who are polite enough not to interrupt us when we're talking, because if that doesn't happen you and I will just keep talking until there's nothing left to say at all, you know? It's just how our family is so it's how we are.

Me
Sure.

Pookie
And the second thing, man, I don't know. Just, she had no passion. I mean, is it that when women get older there's just no passion left in them?

Me
STOP TALKING NOW.

Personal Message Interlude #2
Yes, spending time with you was a highlight, but maybe in other ways than the most obvious. My selfish side wants to drive after the things that I'm so obviously needing that you can give me (like, um, discipline) , but that would really ruin everything. And anyway, wading in the pool of neurosis is less fun, but at some point I guess I need to accept that I'm not a very good swimmer.

Way to end it on a downer...
My Mom
I told your dad you were coming to visit, and he asked if you looked the same as you used to. I think he was scared he wouldn't recognize you.

The tallies...
Number of times we fought on the phone:3
Number of times I wanted to move back here:22
Number of beers:7
Number of martinis:4
Glasses of wine:Roughly 6
Salads eaten that included French fries on top:3
Money spent on T-mobile wireless at Starbucks:$30

The end...
I had a nice trip. I'm ready to be back in open spaces though.