The Iliad
Train, "Drops of Jupiter"
Prince of Persia - Sands of Time
Caffiene Or, anything from my wish list.
God Bless Nascar
K-Yo comes to town...
Post Date: 3/15/05
Original Journal Date: 3/15/05
Hi. Do you remember the glossary? We all loved the glossary, and I felt cool as shit for being the compiler of the glossary. Well, guess what? I?ve reposted it. It?s right here. Yes, the glossary is back. And why is the glossary back? The glossary is back because it has three new entries, and the three new entries were awesome enough for me to take the time to put that glossary back up entirely. Perhaps you want to go and read the entire glossary for nostalgia's sake. Or because it's, you know, pretty funny. But maybe you just want to know what the three new entries are. So I'll give you those. So you can just read the three new entries or you can read the entire glossary. I have issues.
Phrase: Peg Bundy, as in "to pull a Peg Bundy"
Definition: To "Peg Bundy," or "to pull a Peg Bundy" is to nag and harrass your
boyfriend or husband for sex. This phrase apparently only applies when women "nag" and "harass" for
sex and not when horny men beg for sex. Go figure. Here is an example in context:
Her
Honey, we haven't had sex in three weeks. Do you think I can get a little attention tonight?
Him
What do you want, woman? Don't I do enough for you? You gotta pull out a Peg Bundy on me now?
Originally Introduced into the Glossary when: In discussing the fact that an acquaintance's boyfriend had used this phrase, I repeated it to a girlfriend, sure that she would be horrified just like I was to hear the phrase. Unfortunately, I was soon to find that five out of seven women asked had at one point been told to stop pulling a Peg Bundy. Seriously. I don't even know what to do with that.
Phrase: StripTackle
Definition: To be honest, I'm a little unclear on this one, but I believe it means to
be so hot for somebody that you tackle them, remove all of their clothing and have desperately hot sex
with them. Here's an example in context:
FYI, your man has a gut. Just so you know what to expect when you striptackle him two weeks from now.
Added to the Glossary When: Hiliary tried to convince me that Bo Bice is less than perfect. Which, by the way, he's not. He's PERFECT.
Phrase: Prune the Cucumbers
Definition: To peform fellatio. Used in context, "You know, she didn't so much like to
prune the cucumbers."
Introduced to the Glossary when:
Jocelyn
Their whole relationship problem was that they had a sex problem.
K-Yo
There's a small child sitting next to us.
Jocelyn
Okay, well, then, their whole relationship problem was that uh, um, yeah, they didn't share the same
interest in gardening.
K-Yo
Got it.
Jocelyn
She only wanted to grow tomatoes and maybe some peppers, and he really wanted, you know, a garden with a
lot of different kinds of vegetables. Dirty vegetables.
K-Yo
I see what you're saying.
Jocelyn
And also, she refused to ever prune the cucumbers. Ever.
Part II: Thunder from Down Under, Baby.
Oh my God. K-Yo and I went to see
this last night. I almost waivered in
my never-ending devotion to Bo Bice while at the Thunder from Down Under, which included a group
dance number to "Proud Mary," a group dance number that incorporated checkered racing flags, a fake orgasm
contest, a cowboy number, a soldier number, a lot of booze, a LOT of naked butt. The guys? You can't deny
that they are hot. There were also a lot of solo numbers to Aerosmith songs. I wonder how that happened, but
since I was standing up dancing and hooting and hollering along, who am I really to comment? Fortunately,
we sat near enough to the back that we got away with not being rubbed by oiled up men. Thank goodness.
I mean, really. But there is a Polaroid. I'll post it later.
You know, a couple of years ago, Train wrote a song called Drops of Jupiter with lots of deep lyrics about fried chicken and soy lattes and a girl who's busy searching for herself. And I'm sure when Train wrote the adult contemporary rock ballad they were sure that they were creating art in its purest sense. I'm sure that they were quite pleased with themselves for writing a musical poem about a girl who can't fall in love because she needs to find herself and the author's undying love for her despite that. I'm sure what Train, in all of their artistic purity, did not envision when they wrote this song was that several years later, Matthew, the Australian stripper would perform a strip tease to it. And half way through the song, Matthew would sit on a spinning stool-chair and spin around while throwing silver glitter onto himself to represent the literal drops of Jupiter. This silver glitter would then stick to his well-oiled body throughout the rest of the routine while forty-year-old drunk women squealed and screamed and tried to touch him. I am quite sure this is not what Train envisioned when they recorded this song, but who am I to say?
Part III: Bo Bice I just thought I'd share some of your feedback to the Bo Bice masterpiece from earlier in the week.
From Hil:
FYI, your man has a gut. Just so you know what to expect when you striptackle him two weeks from now.
Dear Hilary,
Thank you for the word "striptackle." But you know what? He does have a gut, yet he still makes it hot!
I LOVE HIM!
From Aaron:
sorry dude, that guy looks like scott stapp had a couple drinks too
many and ended up doing it to some supply catalog for 1930's African safari leaders.
Dear Aaron,
WE DO NOT SPEAK OF BO BICE IN THIS WAY!!!!.
From Moon:
you really really really scare me. almost enough to counterweigh the bralessness comment of a month or
two back.
Dear Moon,
When I use the words braless and Bo Bice that close together, it will be in a different context than the
above. Be warned, by the time AI is down to only five or six contestants, I will really scare you more.
From Janet:
Ha! I totally knew you'd be into Bo Bice!
Dear Janet,
I miss you. And also, am I really that transparent? Don't answer that.
From Candy:
I love Bo Bice too
Dear Candy,
You have excellent taste.
Part IV: Be Cool
We went to see it. Matt, I thought of you because I was with you when I went to see Get Shorty for the
first time at the IU student union. But anyway, regarding Be Cool, I think Ferris said it best when he
more or less said, "I was unaware the fans of Get Shorty were so adamant that a sequel be made to that
movie." And then the Cute Boy called it soulless. Which it was. But The Rock and Andre Benjamin and
Cedric the Entertainer were all very, very, very funny. And in retrospect, there can't be too many
John Travolta, Uma Thurman dance sequences on film. So, it isn't really something I'd want to see
again or anything, but it was a good time, yo. It's no Get Shorty, that's for sure.