The Deep End of the Ocean


Various Artists on the Radio in the Car


Prince of Persia - Sands of Time


Birthday Presents

Or, anything from my wish list.

No Poetry for Valentine's Day
Instead...this stuff.

Post Date: 2/18/05
Original Journal Date: 2/15/05

It's not that I haven't updated because I didn't want to update. It's that I haven't updated because my laptop is entirely dead and I had to have my hard drive pulled and retrieved for a mere $120 and 11 cds. But I had a lovely Valentine's Day, and I hope you all did, too. Did you have a lovely Valentine's Day? Anyway, in honor of Valentine's Day, a list of things I loved this week.

Old Dudes/Young Chicks/Money
At Valentine's Day dinner, there was not a single guy over forty whose date was older than twenty-five. I don't love those guys. Or those chicks. But in my head all the forty-year-old women who got dumped for those chicks are off with nineteen-year-old studs in a hot tub. Forty-year old women doing it right, I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

J. Lo and Marc Anthony ? I LOVE YOU
Did you watch the Grammy's? I did. Oh, yes, I did, and I'm not ashamed of it, because I was watching for a reason. A big reason. And that reason, in case you did not guess it, was the much anticipated and touted J. Lo and Marc Anthony duet. Now, mind you, when I say what I'm about to say, you need to keep three things in mind. First, you must keep in mind that I love Latino soap operas. I have no shame about watching them both in the late night hours and also during prime time. Secondly, while I do not love her when she is pretending to be something other than a performer, I like Jennifer Lopez when she's singing and dancing and looking sassy. I also like her when she acts. And thirdly, I even like Marc Anthony. His voice is like drinking good Amaretto. And I watched the first season of Queer Eye, so I know Amaretto. I own albums, people. Marc Anthony albums.

But now I will say this: I have not laughed as hard, laughed until my stomach hurt, as I did watching J. Lo and Marc Anthony do their mini-opera, set in the boudoir duet on the Grammy's. Just in case you missed it, the two of them took over the entire stage and had it dressed like their master bedroom. The two of them were portraying lovers getting ready to go out at night. J. Lo, still claiming to us to not be pregnant, appears in a baby blue gown that in fact confirms that she must certainly be pregnant. The two of them sing passionately and in Spanish for a good five minutes. We are supposed to feel their passion. FEEL IT people. What I felt was my gut bursting as I rolled on the floor crying with laughter. And then, also, I think the NY Times said it best. The problem, really, was that J.Lo is a passable singer and a great actress, and Marc Anthony is an adequate actor and an amazing vocalist. Rather than bring each other up, but instead they brought each other down. And I loved it. J. Lo and Marc Anthony, I love you. Happy Valentine's day.

American Idol ? I LOVE YOU
And I'm not just saying this because I heart Ryan Seacrest and his perfect, perfect hair and his perfect, perfect teeth. I'm saying this because just when you thought that this show couldn't stoop any lower, they did this whole set up where the final forty-eight contestants have to individually go in and fact the judges, alone in a room, and hear their fate. Then they are video taped the entire way back to the holding room, which is what they call it -- a holding room, with the other contestants in the elevator while they cry. How cruel is that? I couldn't stop watching. I also love American Idol because Paula Abdul is shameless about being high at all times. I also love American Idol because Simon is almost as hot as Ryan. I also love American Idol because of this guy, and this guy, and also this guy, and sort of this guy. I will probably only watch on Monday because who really cares about those girls? American Idol, I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Also, Fox TV, while I have your attention, I also love you for 24. Thank you for bringing Tony Almeida back and putting him out in the field with a gun. Delicious. Like Valentine's Day candy.

Jack London? I LOVE YOU
The other week, I got into this weirdo mood to re-read Call of the Wild and White Fang. I hadn't read them in at least ten years. To be honest, it took me a while to get into the groove of reading about the dog and the dog's life and the dog's perspective, but once I did (that took about forty pages), it's such simple and beautiful writing and it really works its magic emotionally. It's a story of finding a balance between wildness and instincts and the calming of those instincts because of the power of love. They're really, really beautiful stories, and I felt so warm and happy and content when I read the last page. How often do you finish a book and say you felt like that? I even cried a little bit, and then I was thankful for Jack London and those books. Jack London, you may have been an alcoholic, but I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Starbucks ? NO, SERIOUSY, I LOVE YOU.
And why do I love you despite all of the reasons not to? Because you have introduced this crack-like substance into your menu, and I needed a new, concentrated beverage with sugar and caffeine. Hell yeah, Starbucks, I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Oliver Stone ? I LOVE YOU.
Shit, man, I went to see Alexander at the dollar theater last week. Who in the hell thought this would be a blockbuster? First of all, I know more Greek history than probably 90% of the population, if not more, and I was lost at points. Not every single reference needs to be made, Oliver, if you're not going to contextualize what's happening, probably shouldn't shoot it, you know? Then, secondly, while I thought seeing Jared Leto (SO HOT) and Collin Farrel in a hot, homosexual embrace was totally arousing in ways that can't be put into words, I'm betting my aunt in Ohio, who was the target audience for this movie, didn't think it was all that hot. In fact, she probably thought it was unsettling. Also, was it just me or was this entire movie about Collin Farrel's eyebrows being bleached? Yeah, Oliver Stone, you're so freakin' self indulgent and so are the actors you hire. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Project Runway ? I LOVE YOU.
Except for Wendy Pepper. I certainly do not love you, but I love any show with bitchy, drunk designers. Did you know that internally they called that show "Project Drunkway?" Did you see the totally bitchy reunion special last night? Or this totally bitchy interview with Vanessa? Oh, Austin Scarlett, I love your perfectly plucked eyebrows and bright ass lipstick. Oh, Jay, I love your gay Jesus act. Oh, Kara Saun, I LOVE YOUR DESIGNS. Oh Kevin, I certainly wish you were straight. Oh Heidi Klum, I love your Cindy Crawford circa House of Style hosting skills. Oh, Project Runway, I love you and all your unabashed bitchiness. Happy Valentine's Day.

Tri Lambs ? I LOVE YOU IN A SEXY WAY.
Did you know about this? THERE IS GOING TO BE A SECOND ALBUM. I want to get drunk and let these guys eat food off of my body while listening to old Michael Jackson albums. Oh, Tri Lambs, the world is good with you. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Topher Grace ? I LOVE YOU.
I, you know, wasn't all that into In Good Company except for the last twenty minutes or so, but you are such a cutie. Oh, Topher Grace, yummy. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks for the card.

I also had something I loved, and it was...