If My Independent Life Were to End Here...

So, today I was talking to a dear friend of mine from high school. We were friends in high school, but in adulthood grew to be much closer in that "it's always an unfinished conversation" way because we lead such similar lives.

(Side note: Dennis Leary is so freakin' hot. But we don't get Hulu in Canada, thanks for painfully reminding me of all the things we can't get up here with your sexy commercial.)

Anyway, this girl recently decided to get out of a relationship, or at least take an extended break. And when we were talking about why, she said the following, "I just looked at it, and I said to myself, 'Self, if this is where the independent part of my life ended, is this where I would want it to end?' And my self answered, 'No.'"

Now, when she says this, she isn't necessarily referring to the person, because she does adore the person. She's mostly referring to all the life situations in terms of where she'd have to live, how she'd have to live, what her life would have to look like, in order to be with this person. It's a wise decision. She knows in a couple of years she'd be even more frustrated with the things about that situation that make her crazy than she is now. Why prolong, she says? She's always been independently minded. She's wise. More people should be wise like her. But really, what I think is that more people should ask themselves that exact question before getting serious. "If my independent life ended here, would I be okay with this being where it ended?" It's such a wise question. I wish I could make everybody learn that question, ask it over and over again. It makes you face a harsh truth and really look at it. If you're brave enough to, which most people really aren't.

She's a lot wiser than I am, because these are the kinds of conversations I'm having about my relationships right now. They sound a lot like this.

Clifford
So, how are things with The Gangster and The Youngin?

Me
Good. Excellent, really. But you wanna know what gets on my nerves so badly about both of them?

Clifford
Do I? Wait, yes. I do.

Me
Effing Euro fashion.

Clifford
OH HA! Like, you're out with them and what you're thinking is "Man, I'd really like to take this guy to Abercrombie and Fitch and dress him like a good American boy?"

Me
So.Yes.

However, I can confidently say that if my independent life were to end today, I would not be comfortable with it ending with a gangster or somebody a decade younger than I am. So that takes a lot of pressure off.

ps - First person who says, "In the right situation, your independent life wouldn't have to end" gets a backslap. Then you would be Madonna, and she's not anybody's relationship model.