Crazy is a State of Mind ... that most men in their late thirties have.

Recently, I was talking to somebody who's dating a 26 year old girl. He was complaining about how she's erratic, insecure, unprepared for a relationship, etc. To which I said:

"This has nothing to do with Jen as a person, this is just about Jen being 26. Twenty-six year old girls are crazy. I was. Every girl I know was pretty crazy at that age. You just have to accept it and deal."

Which I think to be true. I know very few females who were not insane to a certain degree during their mid-twenties. That's a time when, as a female, you're really deciding how you're going to define yourself as a woman, how much how society has defined women is going to impact you, how to be "in a relationship" and "independent" at the same time, how to keep your own identity while being good in a relationship, how to love your body, how to adjust to how your body is starting to change, how to deal with the glass ceiling, all those things. In that age range, it's much more simple for men to know who they are. The expectations are generally more streamlined for men. The road is straighter. So, I write this behavior of my friend's girlfriend off to "All girls are crazy in their mid twenties. It makes it hard on men. It is what it is."

DON'T YOU WORRY, MEN, WE GET WHAT WE GAVE WHEN YOU HIT THE 36 TO 42 AGE RANGE.

I mean, it's true. It's totally okay to say women are crazy in their mid-twenties, because men clearly go crazy in that late thirties, early forties range. It sounds something like this:

"Am I still a boy? I can't be a boy because I'm a man. Am I enough of a man? Am I a provider? Am I manly enough? But am I enough of a man while still being a *sensitive* man? Do people know I'm sensitive, or do I come off like an asshole? What if I am an asshole? Or what if I'm too sensitive? Do I have a big, fat gut? Is it okay that I have a big fat gut because I'm not twenty-one anymore? OH MY GOD, I'M NOT TWENTY-ONE ANYMORE. Does that fact that I'm not twenty-one any more mean that I should not spend all my time playing softball and drinking Bud/going to punk shows/playing video games with my same friends from high school and college? But if I stop doing that, do I give up my youth? Am I old if I have a kid? What if having a kid is the only way to hold onto my youth? Should I want a kid? What if I'm not really enough of a man if I don't have a kid? Should I learn to rock climb? Would I be less fat if I didn't sit on the couch watching sports and drinking beer? But watching sports and drinking beer is what makes me a MAN. But what if that's not really what a man is? OH MY GOD, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM. Are drum circles gay? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE????

...Fuck it. I'm going to the strip club."

Listen, men who are dating or have survived a mid-twenties female, try dealing with somebody going through *that* nonsense above. I mean, it's just as bad as any time you've had to deal with some girl in her twenties saying "I just need some time to figure out what I want."

This is why I went for such a long time dating men in the age-inappropriate category. And I am *seriously* considering returning to that because I don't have time for your journey of self-discovery. That's not true, I have all the time in the world. What I don't have is the patience for your journey of self-discovery. Or your CRAZY ASS SELF REFLECTIVE SHIT. Buy a journal. Get a blog where you can spit that self-indulgent shit out all day long (I do). Watch some Oprah. Or some Dr. Phil. It's what women do in their mid-twenties and we all seem to end up fine our our early to mid-thirties. DO NOT JOIN A DRUM CIRCLE BECAUSE I'LL BE EMBARRASSED FOR YOU.

But if you do need to join a drum circle, you can use this handy resource.

Listen, it's fine. As gender, you've earned the right to go through your own "crazy phase." I'll be down the street on St. Catherine hanging out with the twenty-five year olds until you figure that shit out.

Peace.