Five Quotes from Kentuckiana Weekend

1. "Dean Isn't Smart Enough for You"

A conversation while sitting outside in downtown Louisville, smoking.

Me
You know, if it ever came down to it and I had to give up my love for Dean Winchester in order for you to have him and be happy, I would do that and take Sam instead and feel okay about that.

Catwoman
Dean isn't smart enough for you anyway. You'd be frustrated.

Me
It's true. Sam is smarter. That would work out better. Plus, he's tall. So that could work out.

Catwoman
So I'm glad we're on the same page about that.

And that was how we had a ten minute discussion about fake people and what would happen if we had to compete to date them.

(I also enjoy how the wikipedia entries for both Winchester brothers list their "special powers." Though I also feel that "being so sexy it blinds" should be listed for a special power for both of them.)

2. CATCH UP, SON
A totally random text received on Friday night from Ferris.

Hm. What's that, kid? You think you're cooler than me because it's a Friday night at Target and you're standing in front of me in line with your hot girlfriend buying condoms and I'm buying cat food? Ha! FUCK YOU. I bought condoms on Monday. The TWELVE pack. Learn to catch up, son.

(We later decided this would go on his tombstone.)

3. Let's Talk About WOPS
This is really only going to be funny to about 10 people who understand that the inappropriateness here isn't necessarily in the content of the text messages but in the fact that I entertained communication with this sworn off vice at all.

Him
I'm kinda drunk.

Me
I'm kinda drunk too - but I'm kinda drunk in Kentucky.

Him
That sucks for me. Bring me back a Wildcats shirt.

Me
That's Lexington. I'm in Louisville.

Him
Bring me back a Cardinals shirt. Pitino = fellow WOP.

Me
Pitino = under legal investigation. Are you sure you want to claim him?

Him
He wouldn't be a WOP if he weren't.

(We all know this is ending badly. )

4. Robin Thicke is Still The Sexiest
The sound track to the best sex is always Robin Thicke.

Me
I'm listening to the Jennifer Hudson album on the plan because I hear there's a song called "Don't Make Me Hit You With My Pocketbook" with Luda. I'll listen to anything Luda.

K-Roc
I'm listening to mostly British bands right now, but I do love that new Robin Thicke song.

Me
He's so the sexiest. Robin Thicke could sing me the instructions to a home pregnancy exam and I'd think it was hot.

(Just imagine it - the falsetto kicks in and it's all "Position the stickkkkkkk")

5. No Sympathy for Moms
I actually said this to Roxanne's mom just hours before the wedding.

"I'm about to tell a story about sex and cake. Can you hang?"

(And....that's why I'm not the one getting married.)