Dear George Bush: In case I didn't make this clear for 8 years, MORON

So, for reasons we don't really need to go into, I needed to do an in-and-out, one-day trip to Vegas the week before Christmas. This is more absurd if you know that I actually spent Christmas in Vegas, and therefore essentially flew in for one day in order to fly back to Montreal for one work day and then fly back to Vegas.

I know. But it's a weird year. Things happened in a certain order that then needed to be cleaned up.

And...the day I was flying into Vegas ... it snowed.

I'm not making that up. A lot of you are probably aware of it.

And many of you are probably also aware that the Las Vegas airport subsequently closed down. There wasn't that much snow, but - you know - it's not like Vegas owns a de-icer or a blower to clear the runways.

Let's just diverge for a moment now, if we may, to discuss the implications of enough snow in Las Vegas to actually close down an airport. I know that many people like to claim that my President for the last eight years, Al Gore, and his posse are crack smoking liberalists who like to save owls more than preserve American jobs (which, by the way, is an actual quote from George Bush during the 2000 US Presidential election - way to go, W, I can see that your policy of engergy consumption and non-environmentally friendly industry has gone a long way to ensuring the future of the American economy. Big Three bailout, anybody? Did you know that some places are so desperate to sell SUVs that they're giving away FREE cars with them? But, sadly, I'm sure that speech about how Americans were going to lose jobs because we were so busy preserving the environment got you enough votes to lock down Ohio, or something equally lame and uninformed (sorry to my peeps in Ohio).) Anyway, I think we can stop having the global warming debate. When the Vegas airport closes due to SNOW, we're not in normal-ville anymore.

Anyway, my plane was one of the last to try to land before the airport got closed. I knew that we were in trouble when, as we began our descent, the flight attendant came on the PA system and said the following:

"As we begin our attempted descent into Las Vegas, we'd like to remind you of the locations of the emergency exits on our 747 airplane..."

That actually happened. We tried to land. My life would have been much easier if we had landed. But instead, we tried to make contact with the runway and couldn't. There was too much snow to feel the asphalt. So we went back up.

And onto LA.

LA is not where I needed to be for the night. But I could swing it if I had to. I just needed to be in Vegas by the next day. But still.

The first thing that happens when we get off the plane is that we are told that, because our service interuption is weather related, Air Canada can't really help us. If we'd like to get rebooked on an available seat on an Air Canada partner, they can accomodate us with any open spots, but there are no available flights until the next EVENING. Otherwise, screw you.

What is funnier is that an hour later, they re-announced that they had decided to put our original flight back in the air to Vegas the next morning at 8am. Of course, an hour had passed and almost everybody from the original flight had left the baggage area by then, so nobody knew about it.

I took another tract. Firstly, thank goodness for BFFs. I immediately called my BFF "Magic" Mike Cash and said, "Can you go online and book me on the first Southwest flight out from LA to Vegas tomorrow?" And 10 minutes later my flight arrangements were fixed. Of course, if you are not somebody who has lived in the American west for the last 15 years, you would be screwed because you would have no way of knowing that Southwest operates a flight every half hour out of LA to Vegas every morning and they will be CHEAP. You need to be "in the know" to know that that's your move.

So, I've got the flight taken care of. And so I'm standing there, pondering whether I should get a hotel for the night or call one of my LA friends and hassle them into coming to get me. And as I'm sitting there pondering this, my phone rings, and it's Shadalan asking me a question about a Christmas present wish. To which I reply, "You know what my wish is? My wish is that you pick me up at the airport and I get to see your new oceanside condo before my flight out tomorrow!"

So, as a Christmas bonus, I get to see Shadalan. She takes me to sushi, which is a huge bonus because let me ASSURE you that when you hear people say, "Montreal isn't really a world class sushi city," they are BEING NICE. I've had pieces of sushi here that I've actually slithered back out of my mouth when nobody was looking. However, at least I have yet to be served sushi with gravy on top, which seems to be the Montreal answer to all food. Just put gravy on it. Gravy! Awesome! Anyway, we have a sushi meal where we do the obliagory fill in, and then I crash. And it's delightful though I'm exhausted. And it's so good to get to see my girl.

So the universe looked out for me, and made sure that I got both a pseudo LA Christmas AND sushi and Shadee. And a story about snow in Vegas.

And let's not even talk about LAX at 6am the next morning when everybody who couldn't get into Vegas the day before bumrushed the airport.

All good is all good though.

I'm glad we elected a Democrat. Mabye we can stem the tide of snow in Vegas.