Madonna Tribute - Cast of Glee
Dear Kid Rock...
Dear Kid Rock,
I can't deny it, your new summer smash "All Summer Long" has me hooked. I listen to it at the gym. I listen to it in the car. I listen to it at work (though in truth it is on the same mix as the new New Kids on the Block single "Summertime," in which they profess, "Girl, can I get your number? I think about you in the ... summer.") And as I listen to "All Summer Long," I can't help but recognize what a true genius you. Perhaps not even in your musicality, but in your ability to recognize how to monetize the American public. After all, you were the one who introduced midgets into your entourage and made being a redneck gangster a legitimate occupation that thousands of misguided teenagers could aspire to.
I just wonder what the thought process (in your pot-induced but well coiffed head) was as you created the masterpiece of summer party jams.
"Hmmmm - it's been a while since I had a monster hit. You know, the kind that dominates the charts and gets me laid. I mean, not that I'm not getting laid. Just, you know, I'm getting laid by the b-groupies, not the a-groupies. You need to have a hit to get the a-groupies. On the other hand, I like them a little dirty, so the b-groupies aren't such a bad thing. But whatever, I need a hit. Something like 'Cowboy, baby.' Something big...
"Well, the biggest summer hit of all time, ever, was 'Sweet Home, Alabama.' How about I sample that? Hell, why don't I not only sample the song, but actually reference it in the lyrics? Shit, how about I sample the song, reference it in the lyrics, and then actually sing part of the chorus in my own song? That would be awesome.
"That's not enough though. I mean, it's not enough for the kind of HIT I'm talking about.
"What's that guy's name who died this year? No, not that one. The one everybody loved who sang that song where they howl. You know, the werewolf song? Yeah, 'Werewolf of London.' That guy. Warren Zebon or something. Everybody was sad when he died. Everybody loved that song. Let's sample some of that too. That would be awesome. It's like this shit writes itself.
"But you know what? That's not enough. I mean, it's not enough for the kind of HIT I'm talking about.
"Oh! I can't believe that I didn't think of this sooner! I'll just reference pot smoking in the song! There's never been a song about smoking pot that wasn't HUGE! That will put this over the edge. It will be THE summer jam of 2008!
"This shit really writes itself."
Thank you, Kid. Your name is Kid, and you gave us "Summer Jam, 2008." Not even Donnie, Joey Mac, Jordan Knight and those other two guys can stop you.
Love,
jos
I can't deny it, your new summer smash "All Summer Long" has me hooked. I listen to it at the gym. I listen to it in the car. I listen to it at work (though in truth it is on the same mix as the new New Kids on the Block single "Summertime," in which they profess, "Girl, can I get your number? I think about you in the ... summer.") And as I listen to "All Summer Long," I can't help but recognize what a true genius you. Perhaps not even in your musicality, but in your ability to recognize how to monetize the American public. After all, you were the one who introduced midgets into your entourage and made being a redneck gangster a legitimate occupation that thousands of misguided teenagers could aspire to.
I just wonder what the thought process (in your pot-induced but well coiffed head) was as you created the masterpiece of summer party jams.
"Hmmmm - it's been a while since I had a monster hit. You know, the kind that dominates the charts and gets me laid. I mean, not that I'm not getting laid. Just, you know, I'm getting laid by the b-groupies, not the a-groupies. You need to have a hit to get the a-groupies. On the other hand, I like them a little dirty, so the b-groupies aren't such a bad thing. But whatever, I need a hit. Something like 'Cowboy, baby.' Something big...
"Well, the biggest summer hit of all time, ever, was 'Sweet Home, Alabama.' How about I sample that? Hell, why don't I not only sample the song, but actually reference it in the lyrics? Shit, how about I sample the song, reference it in the lyrics, and then actually sing part of the chorus in my own song? That would be awesome.
"That's not enough though. I mean, it's not enough for the kind of HIT I'm talking about.
"What's that guy's name who died this year? No, not that one. The one everybody loved who sang that song where they howl. You know, the werewolf song? Yeah, 'Werewolf of London.' That guy. Warren Zebon or something. Everybody was sad when he died. Everybody loved that song. Let's sample some of that too. That would be awesome. It's like this shit writes itself.
"But you know what? That's not enough. I mean, it's not enough for the kind of HIT I'm talking about.
"Oh! I can't believe that I didn't think of this sooner! I'll just reference pot smoking in the song! There's never been a song about smoking pot that wasn't HUGE! That will put this over the edge. It will be THE summer jam of 2008!
"This shit really writes itself."
Thank you, Kid. Your name is Kid, and you gave us "Summer Jam, 2008." Not even Donnie, Joey Mac, Jordan Knight and those other two guys can stop you.
Love,
jos
posted by pregamejocelyn at
9:46 AM
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