Madrid Day Two: Prado 1, Jocelyn 0

The theory is that we will meet up at 10:00am for breakfast. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Have you met me and my sleeping habit? But actually, it is Lisa who is running a touch late that morning. So Deanna and Larry and I meet up and go to our new favorite little spot for breakfast where we have espresso, apple tart and tiny meat pies. Then Larry and Deanna head off to look at the sculpture display that I had looked at with Lisa the day before, and I get in line at the Prado to get entrance tickets. We head back to the hotel to meet up with Lisa, and then it is off to art.

The Prado, in case you missed it, is one of the greatest art museums in the entire world. Aside from all of its other masterpieces, though, its centerpiece is an extensive collection of the works of Goya.



In case you missed it, Francisco Goya was a 18th and 19th century Spanish painter and printmaker who was a court painter to the Spanish crown. He's most known for the dark, somewhat "subversive" element of his art, but also for being one of the "bridge artists" who transition from the work of the old classicists to the modern art movement, and he's widely discussed as an influence on Picasso.

The Goya room was completely absorbing and went on and on and on. I've often said that I think that the best way to understand an artist is to see a large collection of their works in one place, a la the Warhol museum in Pittsburgh. Goya is no different, though being surrounded by some of his darker works can be a bit overwhelming. I went back twice even though the Prado is stacked with amazing works by other painters. However, my favorite Goya is one that most people don't commonly love, and it's in the Prado collection. I went back to look at it three or four times. It's this one.



I get dragged in by the smallness of the dog's head in the vastness of everything else, but the way you're so drawn to the substance of the dog in the middle of the vagaries of the rest of the painting. And the motion of the painting. And I like dogs.

And then, I lose. I've been having anxiety issues lately anyway. The long trip, the lack of sleep over the previous two days, the general issues in my life causing said anxiety... they finally caught up with me. I head to the lobby where we're all supposed to meet up after the enjoyment of the museum, and I'm about 10 minutes early. And suddenly it hits me. My stomach is not right. I mean, just not right. So I head back to the hotel, and I am down and out for the rest of the afternoon. I'm told that I didn't miss much other than some nice lunch. And honestly my nap is nice. And probably much needed because I'm feeling fantastic by evening, which is when ...

Jocelyn's Internet Cafe turns into Jocelyn's Sangria Internet Cafe. Because Deanna is brilliant and realizes that bringing a pitcher of sangria into the room for internet time can only lead to both more fun and more photos. Let me tell you, never has a more flattering photo been taken of a woman than the one you will see of me below, with no makeup, dirty hair, the kind of worn down pallor of a woman who's been sick most of the day and my classy, classy lingerie that I was sleeping in when internet cafe time started. And also...the best sangria we had all trip? Made at the hotel. It is true.




Okay, so then we are off for the night's activity after meeting up with Halff at his hotel. His hotel where we are also using the concierge. And where I make my trip faux paux. We want to use Larry's concierge to book reservations at Botin and also to get us tickets to the Real Madrid game for Sunday night. While we're standing in line at the concierge, the man in front of me starts talking to me. He's cute. He's tall. He's outgoing. And he's clearly not poor if he's staying at the Westin Palace. Oh, and he's age appropriate. And he's dropping all kinds of hints like, "Oh, my friends and I already ate at the place you're going to tonight, but we'd totally eat there again." And did I mention he's attractive with nice eyes? And tall? And engaging? And age appropriate? And can pay his own bills?

And as we wrap up our business at the concierge, I turn to him and extend my hand and say ... "Nice to have met you."

Nice to have met you? WHAT THE HELL? Where is Jocelyn? Jocelyn the girl who upon meeting a cute, tall, well off, engaging man who likes to travel would at a minimum invite him and his friends to join her and her friends for something and, in a more likely scenario, would inconspicuously remove her panties while talking to him and then leave them in his pocket with a note with her cell phone number. Where is that girl? And who is this girl who says "Nice to have met you?" And how do I did the "nice to have met you" girl and get back my friend Jocelyn, because Jocelyn is a lot more fun than the "nice to have met you" girl is. It's embarrassing. Not only was my head not in the game, but now I feel like I missed out on meeting somebody really cool. And I have no story to bring home about sliding my panties off ... or something.

Anyway, I probably accidentally walk away from the man who's supposed to be my future husband, but that's okay, because my future European affair is found at dinner. So, anyway, dinner is here. Here is considered THE place to go to see flamenco dance in Madrid. But I will be honest with you. Our expectations were "Wow, this will be fun," but not "Man, I am expecting this to be awesome." Because, essentially, this is dinner theater. And at dinner theater, you expect neither the dinner nor the theater to be all that amazing.

Firstly, a little flamenco history for you. Though flamenco is a Spanish and Mediterranean dance form, it originated with the gypsies, and to some degree Islamics as well as they migrated up from middle Asia. That's right: much of flamenco tradition generated from gypsy tradition. From my people, people. And my people are not known for much beyond thieving and marrying our girl children off at inappropriately young ages, so it's nice that we have something good to lean on here. Flamenco is a combination of passionate dance and song using limited instruments but extensive rhythms being stomped and clapped by the participants. And yes, at times, castanets.

Here is another thing that you should know about the evening: We were originally supposed to go to an earlier show, but then our good table that I had reserved had to be given away because some b-list important person wanted to come to that show. So I agreed to go to the later show on the condition that we get the best table in the house. We got the best table in the house, literally.

Okay, so we arrive Corral de la Moreria and catch the end of the first show, or "spectacular" and then are moved to our table.

So to begin with, the meal that we expected to be all "eh" about? FANTASTIC. It starts with the sherry that I've now warned you about, and there is a first course I don't remember but I think it includes anchovies, then wine and gazpacho, then this AMAZING lamb or possibly chicken (I can't remember) and then desserts that we're all too full to eat anyway. Oh, and some kind of sweet dessert wine as well that's like a port but not a port. Or maybe it is a port. It all blends to me.

But more importantly, the dancing. Oh, the dancing is amazing. There are three "acts". And let me say before I begin that the most amazing pictures from this evening are taken by Halff and are here, but Deanna's pictures are great, too, and those are the ones I'm using here because I don't want to co-opt Larry's pictures.

The first act is a female soloist doing the most traditional flamenco that we see all night. And she is amazing. AMAZING.



And then she is followed by THE HOTTEST MAN EVER who dances with such power that I forget to eat my food and simply watch him.



One of the things that you don't realize about flamenco until you've seen it is just how hard the rhythms that they're clapping and stomping are. I mean, really insanely complicated to the level that you lose sight of what's going on all together at various points. And they clap and stomp so hard and with such passion that they have blisters all over. And they go at one thousand percent intensity every single time. It's so marvelous to watch, and if you ever go to Madrid then you MUST go to see this show.

The third "act" is four female flamenco soloists who each do a number and then a group routine. And with the four women on stage, you really get to see how, even though flamenco feels like a very structured type of dance, it really allows for such ability to show individual personalities. The first woman to dance is a bit reserved and elegant, the second woman young and innocent, the third woman has seen a lot of life and captured its pain and passion, and the fourth woman ... well, I describe the fourth woman as "The Tina Turner of Flamenco". She's sassy, and she actually sings with a raspy rock voice while she dances. And she's the most sexual of the four of them by far. And also my favorite for many reasons.





We leave that night with our minds blown away by the excellence of the experience. And then we have a lovely jaunt home through the dark Madrid night, past the palace and through the streets. And at home Larry and Lis depart for the night, and Deanna and I head out to our new favorite place: Club Blackjack. Where in a maze of dark underground rooms full of techno remixes of American R&B you can dance the evening away with a Spanish boy half your age.



And then the next day you can ...