Holidays - Chapter 1: "Not a Single Cookie Was Decorated": Holidays are Always Best When They Start in LA

And so, the first run on the holiday gauntlet was to LA. I suppose, though, for the record that it all depends on how you define "holiday gauntlet" since the argument could be made that the holiday gauntlet had started over Thanksgiving in San Francisco, or the weekend after in Austin. Both of those events included binge drinking and eye-rolling moments, so who knows.

The first thing that is supposed to happen during LA Holiday is a cookie decorating party at Shimmy's. The idea being that we would make casseroles (put that holiday weight on early, please), drink cocktails and decorate cookies while enjoying girl holiday time.

The problem, however, is in the order that we did things. Rather than decorate cookies while cooking and drinking, we proceeded to have two to three cocktails a piece before cookies were ever mentioned. Wanna know something? At the end of the night not a single cookie had even been touched.



We ate FOUR kinds of casserole.



We had many, many cocktails. KALM wore this:



LaurieG got a fart fan for Christmas, took an unusually hot picture with it and then later REALLY needed it:



And then, various things happened. We both opened gifts and went through items from each other's closets that we were getting rid of. It was like our own personal garage sale. Here are a couple of pictures of happy gift girls:




Then, Shadee told a story about how she had gone to Trader Joe's and gotten distracted by a cute boy and then proceeded to trip on her own heel and nearly fall over while almost taking down an entire wine display with her. She was very animated. And these are our real lives.



Then, we danced. We danced like hookers even though we did not look like hookers because we were all wearing pajamas. Here are some pictures.




Then, we decided to try to watch "Two Girls, One Cup." If you're not familiar, this is a HORRID, NASTY porn video that's circulating the internet. It's painful. I mean, in fairness, we'd been watching YouTube clips for a while, and somebody brought up "Two Girls, One Cup" and we were all like "let's check it out!" IT WAS SO DISGUSTING WE COULD NOT EVEN WATCH IT. These photos are priceless, yes they are. If you look at them, you will see that we could not even keep our faces towards the screen. We couldn't even watch. I mean, except, apparently, for ONE PERSON. If you look at the photos, you will see that three of us are all turning away from the screen and ONE PERSON seems to be captivated and drawn to the screen in all pictures. That is all.



And then we passed out. Oh yes, you may have imagined that this rager ran all night, but you would be wrong. Here's photographic evidence that the majority of the party girls passed out before it was even midnight. Ha.



So, to review, our girlie night had everything you could hope for in your fantasies:

Sexy Costumes



Girl-on-Girl Dancing



Drunk Girls



Porn



Girls Sleeping Together




Hawt.