Uganda Chapter 5: Adventures in Driving

To see a complete set of photos from this day, click here.

Day four in Uganda is one of those days where we're going to be driving. All day. ALL day. We're going all of the way to Port Portal, where we're spending three days at N'Dali, which I will later explain to you is essentially the same as temporarily being given the keys to heaven. By the end of the trip, I no longer adore driving days, but at the beginning of the trip I'm still appreciating that driving days mean adventures. On this particular driving day, there are two adventures and four stories!



Meet Kirstin. You'll want to be her.
Kirstin and Sam are a couple in their late fifties, or maybe early sixties, that Lisa and I met on the boat ride up the Nile the day before. Kirstin is one of those people who grew up traveling, so she's never really been able to settle down. She speaks five languages. Growing up, she lived all over Central America, South America and the Caribbean. At 18, she settled down in the States to go to school. She got married young, had children young, and then got divorced young. So she didn't get to travel much in her twenties and thirties since she was a single mom.

Then the kids grew up.

And she met Sam.

Sam and Kirstin's philosophy is "When we want to take a vacation, we just get a different job in a different part of the world." The whole reason that the two of them are in Africa to begin with is that Sam is considering taking a job in South Africa. They own a house on one of the keys off of the coast of Belize and they build and sell spec homes there. They own a house in Mexico where Kirstin is a real estate agent. The own an organic farm in Panama.

Jealous yet?

Of course, they'll be the first to tell you that their lifestyle comes with sacrifices. Even when they mentally want to settle down and stop moving, they find that emotionally they don't have it in them to stay in one place. They don't get to see much of their children or grand children. No lifestyle, we all know, is ever perfect. But their lifestyle is pretty cool. And I'd have no complaints if I grew up to be just like them.

We say goodbye to Kirstin and Sam after the ferry back across the river. And then we are off on the road, only to come up against another river partway through the day...

So, listen. It's not snake wine, but...
James is the kind of guide who likes to point out things of interest going on on the side of the road as we drive. Sometimes this is, well, annoying to me. Sometimes, however, it is highly useful. Highly useful includes today when James points out men making moonshine/sugarcane gin on the side of the road. Sugarcane gin is made from -- you guessed it -- sugarcane and water. The water, in this case, comes from a dirty puddle on the side of the road. Not to be deterred by the threat of malaria or other health concerns, as soon as James points this activity out, I yell, "STOP THE CAR."

James negotiates a forty cent savings for me, but who am I to stop him? I get a water-bottle-sized amount for about sixty cents (USD). James warns me that, though this batch is somewhat weak, I'm still about to experience some strong booze. I smile. Content.

People! African sugarcane moonshine is excellent! By that I mean if you like your liquor strong, which is how I like my liquor and my boyfriends (emotionally, I mean). It's soooooo goood. You actually can get really serious hints of sugarcane in there. So good! I go to sleep with a shot every night for the rest of the trip. Okay, maybe not so much for the rest of the trip because the moonshine is preservative free, and by the time we get to Mihingo it's, well, not good. Ho Lin! Nobody was there to take a picture of my first drink, but we did get these pictures of me searching for a booze fix in the middle of Africa.




If you'd like to marry me, my mom needs a bag of onions.
For the first two hours or so of the car ride, Lisa and James have an animated conversation about marriage in Uganda.

Oh, and yes, please note that by day four of the trip, Lisa has moved into the front seat by James. This arrangement works out perfectly for everybody. Lisa gets a more comfortable seat. Lisa likes to talk. James likes to talk. I am less of a talker. They can spend the drive talking, and I can spend the drive going into my own little world in the backseat.



Anyway, after James gets done telling Lisa that she could fall in love with a man even if that man were not educated or wealthy (though I think James may have been wrong), he then launches into the story of how he married his wife. He ends the story by explaining that he paid for her by giving her family a padlock, a fence and a saucepan.

Lisa
It sounds like you got off pretty cheaply.

James
Oh, I mean, I also had to give four cows, ten goats, many chicken, a bag of sugar, a bag of rie, a bag of onions...

So, gentlemen, my mother is currently taking bids to marry me off. She too needs a bag of onions, as well as some corriander, a jar of sweet gherkins and some Nature Valley granola bars.

Lunch!
Lunch is, of course, depressing. James is insistent that we find a spot where the local village children won't bother us and beg, but after we've settled into the grass, word gets out and it isn't long before the children are there. We end up pretty much giving most of our food away, but even by day four I've lost my tolerance for bananas, pineapple and passion fruit anyway. This is pretty much the lunch experience anytime we stop in random places. I hate it. I want to take them all home with me. Like Oprah.



Bridge Out!
James has been stressing out all day because the bridge that we need to cross to get to Port Portal is flooded. He stops every single person we pass on the road coming from that direction to ask the status of the bridge. And, yes, they all confirm that it's flooded. Yes, they all confirm that if we want to cross it, we will have to drive through the water. And, yes, they all confirm that if it rains again before we get there, we will simply not be able to cross the bridge. If we can't cross the bridge, the "detour" will be several hours.

We get to the bridge, and it is, in fact, flooded. The water would come about up to our windows.

Me
James, how often does this bridge flood?

James
It, you know, happens during the rainy season.

Me
Why don't they just re-build the bridge so that it's higher than the water when it rains?

James
(insert look of "You silly, silly white woman" here)

So, the bridge is flooded and it is a scene. The predominant way that people are profiting from this unfortunate natural disaster of sorts is to offer to push your car through the water if you cross. Apparently, the day before, another guide from our safari group had paid to have his Land Cruiser pushed. Pussy. James is having none of that. He tells the guys that if they just move the car they're using to block the access to the bridge out of the way, he'll pay them to push us. And then, as soon as they move the car, he takes off without them. About halfway across the river when a boat sails by my window, I am convinced that I am about to drown in the middle of a flooded river in Africa. But James gets us out safely. In fact, I think he even enjoyed it a little bit.




And then we are at 'N'dali. And it is heaven. But we'll talk about that later!

To see a complete set of photos from this day, click here.