Madonna Tribute - Cast of Glee
SMOS vs. SMOA
Oh, people, let me promise you that this one is a winner if you follow me to the end.
Firstly, it was girls' Saturday in Denver this weekend, by which I mean Princess Night. Here are the rules of Princess Night:
- The first rule of Princess Night is do not speak of Princess Night unless it is on your blog
- The second rule of Princess Night is that all of the following are required: sparkling tiaras, fairy wands, margaritas, chips and salsa, tarot cards, dancing to Britney Spears on the patio, singing along to Howie Day like you're all fourteen again and singing along to the radio at your sleepover.
- Not required but good to have in the day leading up to Princess Night are The Man Band, Casino Royale, Kiran, ramen, goyoza, new bath product, coffee, pastry and napping.
- The third rule of Princess Night is feel fearless about telling each other the truth about love, life, spirituality, dating men with children (which two of us are doing), dieting, drinking, baby making sex, non-baby making sex, feeling lost, feeling fearful, feeling empowered, feeling like you're on a good path, feeling insecure, feeling drunk. Mostly though you need to be fearless about talking about your own failings in those areas.
- The fourth rule of Princess Night is wear something with an elastic waistband. My bad.
It was a good Princess Night. And over ramen and Kiran and then over margaritas and chicken enchiladas, SMOS vs. SMOA was established.
And so that was girls' weekend. I love those girls. Ladies, ladies of ILovePaulJack, BEGIN TO SAVE YOUR PENNIES NOW (unless you are about to purchase a home in which case you will read that sentence and then ask me if I know that I'm an asshole for forgetting that every penny you have is going to your new home for your children - LOVE YOU CANDY). Dee, K-Yo and I are planning a girls' trip to Madrid next February. We picked February because it's off season and cheaper to travel, but it's also my birthday month so, you know, awesome. We picked Madrid for three reasons: sangria, it's language friendlier for most of us, men. MEN. And SMOS doesn't really end until February, so that works out. I'll send an email, but you know you want to come (please come).
You can commit to coming and then bail due to pregnancy or incarceration. Sadly, those are BOTH concerns with this crew.
Firstly, it was girls' Saturday in Denver this weekend, by which I mean Princess Night. Here are the rules of Princess Night:
- The first rule of Princess Night is do not speak of Princess Night unless it is on your blog
- The second rule of Princess Night is that all of the following are required: sparkling tiaras, fairy wands, margaritas, chips and salsa, tarot cards, dancing to Britney Spears on the patio, singing along to Howie Day like you're all fourteen again and singing along to the radio at your sleepover.
- Not required but good to have in the day leading up to Princess Night are The Man Band, Casino Royale, Kiran, ramen, goyoza, new bath product, coffee, pastry and napping.
- The third rule of Princess Night is feel fearless about telling each other the truth about love, life, spirituality, dating men with children (which two of us are doing), dieting, drinking, baby making sex, non-baby making sex, feeling lost, feeling fearful, feeling empowered, feeling like you're on a good path, feeling insecure, feeling drunk. Mostly though you need to be fearless about talking about your own failings in those areas.
- The fourth rule of Princess Night is wear something with an elastic waistband. My bad.
It was a good Princess Night. And over ramen and Kiran and then over margaritas and chicken enchiladas, SMOS vs. SMOA was established.
Me
I'm completely dedicated to this six months of single concept.
K-Yo
SMOS, you mean?
Me
Oh, an acronym! Perfect. Every project is more successful with an acronym.
I'm completely dedicated to this six months of single concept.
K-Yo
SMOS, you mean?
Me
Oh, an acronym! Perfect. Every project is more successful with an acronym.
K-Yo
Hey, but, you know, what about you and that cute boy with the sexy glasses?
Me
Oh, but, I mean, we're not exclusive.
K-Yo
But you would say you're dating, right?
Hey, but, you know, what about you and that cute boy with the sexy glasses?
Me
Oh, but, I mean, we're not exclusive.
K-Yo
But you would say you're dating, right?
Me
Yes, but not exclusively. Dating other people as well. So it's still SMOS.
K-Yo
No, it's SMOA.
Me
?
Yes, but not exclusively. Dating other people as well. So it's still SMOS.
K-Yo
No, it's SMOA.
Me
?
K-Yo
Six Months of Available. That's different. If you're dating somebody regularly, you're not getting all of the same growth you'd get with SMOS because you still have the security of knowing that somebody wants you.
Me
Oh. I think you're right.
K-Yo
SMOS would mean you never dated anybody for longer than a month during that time period.
Six Months of Available. That's different. If you're dating somebody regularly, you're not getting all of the same growth you'd get with SMOS because you still have the security of knowing that somebody wants you.
Me
Oh. I think you're right.
K-Yo
SMOS would mean you never dated anybody for longer than a month during that time period.
Me
Oh.
Really?
K-Yo
Yes.
(long pause while I think it through)
Oh.
Really?
K-Yo
Yes.
(long pause while I think it through)
Me
What if at the end of the month, after the expiration date on dating the person had hit, it just became about sex? What if we weren't dating anymore, but we were still having sex?
K-Yo
Could you really do that without getting emotionally attached?
Me (gives look of "Have you met me?")
Yes. Surely. You just have to have rules that limit things like time and nature of conversation before and afterward. A good set of rules can totally avoid the emotional connection. Yeah. Sure.
What if at the end of the month, after the expiration date on dating the person had hit, it just became about sex? What if we weren't dating anymore, but we were still having sex?
K-Yo
Could you really do that without getting emotionally attached?
Me (gives look of "Have you met me?")
Yes. Surely. You just have to have rules that limit things like time and nature of conversation before and afterward. A good set of rules can totally avoid the emotional connection. Yeah. Sure.
K-Yo
You need to have an actual set of rules drawn up then. I'm not sure I trust you to stick to them if you started to get really into somebody.
Me
Sure. I think next week I'll ask DCWP to do that for me. He's good at that sort of thing.
K-Yo
I think SMOS is important for you. I don't think you'll get what you're looking for out of SMOA.
Me
So much about this conversation is fucked up, but mostly just that we're having it.
You need to have an actual set of rules drawn up then. I'm not sure I trust you to stick to them if you started to get really into somebody.
Me
Sure. I think next week I'll ask DCWP to do that for me. He's good at that sort of thing.
K-Yo
I think SMOS is important for you. I don't think you'll get what you're looking for out of SMOA.
Me
So much about this conversation is fucked up, but mostly just that we're having it.
And so that was girls' weekend. I love those girls. Ladies, ladies of ILovePaulJack, BEGIN TO SAVE YOUR PENNIES NOW (unless you are about to purchase a home in which case you will read that sentence and then ask me if I know that I'm an asshole for forgetting that every penny you have is going to your new home for your children - LOVE YOU CANDY). Dee, K-Yo and I are planning a girls' trip to Madrid next February. We picked February because it's off season and cheaper to travel, but it's also my birthday month so, you know, awesome. We picked Madrid for three reasons: sangria, it's language friendlier for most of us, men. MEN. And SMOS doesn't really end until February, so that works out. I'll send an email, but you know you want to come (please come).
You can commit to coming and then bail due to pregnancy or incarceration. Sadly, those are BOTH concerns with this crew.
Labels: advice, boys, candy, dcwp, in the name of humanity, k-yo
posted by pregamejocelyn at
5:11 PM
permalink baby
3 Comments:
J,
I think you just need to commit to SOBB (Single Only Between Boyfriends).
And I promise after we are finished moving in (yay!!!) that I will settle down.
Love,
C
By
Anonymous, at 6:29 AM
I love that you make me sound smarter and wittier than I am in real life. However, I am way wittier when Kirin and margaritas are involved.
And I think you need a contest for the SMOS logo.
By
k-yo, at 6:45 AM
J,
I was talking to your mom today about how much I admire your determination and dedication to things. You climbed a mountain, surpassed all business expectations, had a girls weekend, at 5 a.m. arranged for people to drink champagne at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, further encouraged the bitchwhore contest and finished 90210 in a seven-day period.
Her response?
"Well, she's an insomniac. I've always said Joel is going to save the world, and Jocelyn's going to buy it from him."
Love it.
And while Joel is trying to save the world and continues counting blades of grass, I think you should start the SMOS contest. You, go-getter, you.
Love,
C
By
Anonymous, at 11:15 AM
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