But in the end, we're all sinners.

This is in the name of my giving you what you wanted, which is less introspection, more funny. It's been quite a while since this happened (so long ago that I referenced it the other day and K-Rock had actually entirely forgotten about it), and originally I shared it almost exclusively via email to only people whom I actually knew, but perhaps it's time for it to be a public romp.

...

So, on Saturday night, K-Rock and I went to Fado. Fifteen minutes after we got in there, I looked around and said, "Wow. Every man in this bar is dressed to look like John Mayer. I'm not sure I can handle that. Maybe we should leave!" But we did not leave. In fact, because of late I have apparently looked very Midwestern coed, the most John Mayer of the John Mayer lookalikes begins hitting on me. He BUYS ME FREAKIN SHOTS LIKE I'M STILL IN COLLEGE, but I like to play, so I stay. My breaking point, though, is when he goes up to the band and asks them if they know any Dave Matthews Band covers. I return to my table quite sure that I should never return to this bar again.

But then this incredibly hot guy, NOT dressed like John Mayer, starts flirting with me and buying me drinks that do not come in shot glasses. He looks like Henry Rawlins before Henry Rawlins went crazy with the weight lifting. And by 2am, I'm like, "Yeah, okay."

So home we go, and during the deed, I'm like, "This is totally weird. This guy is brutally hot, and my age, and it's like he has no idea at all about what he's doing. What the hell?" Afterwards, I gently find a way to mention my observation in a way that was not nearly as straight forward as how I just wrote it, and he says, "I probably should tell you, I've only ever been with one other person, and that was over 10 years ago."

Before I can stop the next stupid thing from coming out of my mouth, out pops, "Are you, you know, really religious?"

That question falls into the category of "questions you shouldn't ask if you don't really want the answer." And I didn't really want the answer, particularly since the answer was, "Actually, I'm an ordained minister. I just in the last week or so realized it wasn't my calling and that I didn't want to put my life on hold any longer for a God who doesn't seem to be all that loving."

All I can think at that moment is "I am GOING TO HELL. Right now, God's cherubs are hand-stamping my passport to hell because I just facilitated one of the flock fleeing. Of all the easy girls that this dude could have met in a bar on a Saturday night, it's me. And now I'm going to be Satan's whore for the rest of my life."

At this point, a wiser person than I am stops talking. I, of course, actually instead say "So, even if you're not a minister anymore, you must still believe in the Bible, right? Isn't this a sin?"

And he says, "Yes, it's a sin. But in the end, we're all sinners."

And you know what I do next? I ask, "So are you going to ask for forgiveness in the morning?"

And he says, "Absolutely."

And ladies, there is nothing less hot than being in bed with somebody and they're telling you that the next day they will be asking God to forgive them for being with you.