Being means: not numbering and counting, but ripening like a tree, which doesn?t force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it comes only to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly silent and vast. I learn it every day of my life, learn it with pain I am grateful for: patience is everything!
We are called to be fruitful - not successful, not productive, not accomplished. Success comes from strength, stress, and human effort. Fruitfulness comes from vulnerability and the admission of our own weakness. sometimes...i read lovely stuff. sometimes...not.
The Tourist: A New Theory of the Leisure Class - Dean MacCannell
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If we do not bear the cross of the Master, we will have to bear the cross of the world, with all its earthly goods. Which cross have you taken up? Pause and consider.  i would die without my iPod Rascal Flats - "What Hurts the Most"
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There are many people who are sincere without being simple: they are ever afraid of being seen for what they are not; they are always musing over their words and thoughts and thinking about what they have done, in fear of having done or said too much. These people are sincere, but they are not simple: they are not at ease with others, and other people are not at ease with them. There is nothing easy about them, nothing free, spontaneous or natural. People who are imperfect, less regular, less masters of themselves, are more lovable. This is how people find them, and it is the same with God.

i am never satisfiedfreakin' ad sales

or anything from my wishlist

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A brother said to an old man, ?I do not know of any warfare in my heart.? The old man said to him, ?Then you are a building open on all four sides. Whatever wishes to, goes in and out, and you do not notice. If you had windows and a door, and shut them so as to bar certain thoughts, you would soon realize how many there are outside, waiting to slip in and attack you.?

i fear fat I'm so taking the week off.

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What You Mark in Ma.gnolia Stays Found.

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I know that life is a doorway to eternity, and yet my heart so often gets lost in petty anxieties. It forgets the great way home that lies before it. Unprepared, given over to childish trivialities, it could be taken by surprise when the great hour comes and find that, for the sake of piffling pleasures, the one great joy has been missed. I am aware of this, but my heart is not. It seems unteach- navigate around, why don't you?
what i wrote yesterday
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everything ever. sort of.
sometimes...poetry
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    Wednesday, May 31, 2006

    China Entry The First: Especially for (I Love) Paul Jack

    Dear (I Love) Paul Jack,

    Since we were unable to see X3 together, I thought I would instead treat you to some delightful photos of the X3 promos in Hong Kong, where it appears that they may love the movie more than we do.


    X3 in Hong Kong
    When a normal-sized billboard just isn't enough.

    X3 in Hong Kong
    I touch Storms' naughty circles and create lightening.

    X3 in Hong Kong
    These were plastered ALL OVER.

    X3 in Hong Kong
    Jolie in the famous angel wings.

    Yep. Went to Hong Kong. Took pictures of X3 stuff. For real.

     

    Wednesday, May 17, 2006

    Christmas In June

    So I'm sitting here and there's nothing else to do while I wait (or nothing I'm awake enough to do), so I'm finally posting these pictures from Christmas time. Click any photo for a larger image view.


    Terry and Michelle at Ohio dinner.


    Terry and Michelle at Ohio dinner.




    Dan and Linda at Ohio dinner.


    Dan and Linda at Ohio dinner.




    Gib, Sue & Adam at Ohio dinner.


    Gib, Sue & Adam at Ohio dinner.




    Jeff, Denise & the Kids at the House.


    Jeff, Denise & the Kids at the House.




    Greg & Little Matthew at the House.


    Greg & Little Matthew at the House.




    Di & Day at the House.


    Di & Damon at the House.




    Me, Pook & Mamacita at the House.


    Me, Pook & Mamacita at the House.

     

    I'm in China, bitches.

    Actually, I'm in SFO. But I'm about to be in China. You may want to check the blog though. It's possible I'll post a note.

    In the meantime, learn about Pandemonium.

    Or read the best mfm craigslist ever.

    It's like I don't even have to do any work around here anymore.

    Also, regarding this:
    This item will be released on November 15, 2006.

    For real. They will never finish this game. Only tease me with the possibility. I played a PERFECT Majora's Mask game in preparation, and now...November. Yes. Perfect. Every.Single.Heartpiece....and by that I mean every ridiculously hard mini game and that endless singing frog challenge and the silly Deku trading sequence.

    I'm an adult.

    That is all.

     

    Friday, May 05, 2006

    In a Random World, the Non-Sequitur Girl is Queen

    #1
    I'm not sure which of the following was my favorite reality tv moment of the week:

    - The moment on The Real Housewives of Orange County where the slutty housewife was getting dressed to go get her party on and said, "I'm glad (my son) is in juvenille detention. At least I won't have to worry about him running around."

    - The moment on Tiara Girls where the girl's father tells her that he's contacting her principal and telling the principal that the girl can't be bothered with homework the week before the pagaent and the girl says "But dad, I care about my school work."

    - The other moment on Tiara Girls where the girl is trying on dresses and her father says "You can see too much cellulite in that one."

    #2
    Dear Donnie Deutsh,

    I'm tired of you. I forgave you for the FOUR episodes on Donald Trump and the million episodes on polygamy, but really. Now you're doing an episode where you interview a housewife from a gated community who sued a porn producer for shooting in her neighborhood? HOW PHIL DONAHUE CAN YOU GO?

    #3
    Is there any better TV than Dog the Bounty Hunter? Probably not.

     

    Tuesday, May 02, 2006

    At SFIFF (I mean, for real)

    So, you know, just got back from the SF International Film Festival, or as they now call it, SFIFF. I mean, really. But there are some films you should consider seeing.

    Gubra
    There is, as you probably know, a category of things I love above all other things -- Things that, for better or for worse (because, you know, some are material things), cause me to have emotional reactions so positive it's like drugs. It runs as follows:

    - Books by Milan Kundera, F. Scott Fitzgerald or Michael Dorris
    - Paintings by Matisse or Miro
    - Bath product from Origins
    - My mother's kitchen and the run path along the old school road
    - The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament
    - The Steelers
    - Snowy Nights or Nighttime at the Ocean
    - Dark Angel, Sports Night and Peanuts holiday cartoons
    - Films by Wim Wenders and Yasmin Ahmad

    Because you may remember that last year I couldn't stop talking about Sepet. All year. I kept saying things like "I don't know how to describe it. It's just...so...sweet yet sad. Everything about it made sense to me. Everything about it made me laugh or smile or cry or turn my eyes away. I love that film. I love it so much it's not even reasonable. I love it in the same way that I love Until the End of the World. I love that film.

    So how happy was I when I found out that there was a sort-of sequel showing at SFIFF this year? They call it a sort-of sequel because theoretically you don't need to have seen Sepet to follow it. However, if you're planning to hit eBay to try to find a copy, I'd suggest buying Sepet and Gubra together because it does help to have seen the back story. You won't like Orked nearly as much if you don't -- in the first film you see her lose her innocent joy. You kind of resent that it's gone if you only see the second one.

    Yasmin Ahmad is a Malaysian filmmaker, so her films so far have all explored the diversity of Malays and Chinese, Muslims and Catholics, rich and poor. Gubra is a maturation for her. In Sepet, the story was really driven by the love story between Jason and Orked, but in Gubra, the story is about having faith in modern times. I'm a big believer in not giving spoilers when I talk about movies I love, but I will tell you this.

    In Orked's last scene in the film, she looks at her husband, whom she is leaving, and responds to his plea that she promised she would stay with him if he left his mistress by saying, "I promised you that I would stay. You promised my father that you would never hurt me. Jason promised me that he would never leave me. These are modern times, my dear. There is no room for such things these days."

    The rest of the film deals wraps up the other story lines, and you are left to yourself to determine whether the characters have or have not honored the promises they have made throughout their lives. The final line of the film is the line from the Koran that closes several of the prayers: "Show us that you are not a breaker of promises."

    There's room to feel optimistic that there is room for faith and for promises. Orked's parents have consistently been a showing that making a promise can last, and the seeming reconciliation of Jason's parents at the end implies the same thing. The subplot, which deals with a mosque and disenfranchised prostitutes, leaves you with mixed emotions. But it's all balanced by Orked, the youngest character, and the one seemingly with the most lost faith.

    God, it's such a beautiful film. I think, absent Orked, the greatest character struggle is Orked's husband. He cheats on her, he says awful things about women, but he loves her tenderly and honestly too. It's hard to to reconcile him, and that's probably a good thing, because you don't want to be too forgiving of Orked's bitterness about life. You want desperately for her to be more like some of the less-priviledged characters, to be able to find joy more easily even when the truth that life is often more painful and joyful is thrust at her. So it works.

    And Ahmad fills this film with as much sweetness and humor as she did with Sepet. There are very few scenes where you don't find yourself laughing out loud at least once. And I love her. I went into this film thinking that I was too excited about it and was sure to be let down. I wasn't let down. I love her.

    The Descent
    Horror flick by a Scottish dude. Here's kind of how RJ, shamus and I sounded through the whole movie.

    RJ, shamus, Me
    Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ewwwwwwwwww! Arghhhhhhhhhh!

    shamus
    Fuckers.

    RJ, shamus, Me
    Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ewwwwwwwwww! Arghhhhhhhhhh!

    shamus
    Fuckers.

    RJ, shamus, Me
    Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ewwwwwwwwww! Arghhhhhhhhhh!

    shamus
    Fuckers.

    To quickly sum up, this is the story of six women who go caving, only to discover a hidden set of caves where blind, human-flesh eating monsters live ... and kill. I didn't really do it justice. I many ways, it's an awesome tribute to sci fi female heroines throughout the ages. There are many fantastic shots of the women, covered in blood, muscles buff, in warrior poses before or after battle that make the movie worth seeing, even if you don't like horror films.

    Let me say this though, if you don't like gory and blood and guts, this film is not so much for you. There are no shortage of scenes of gross blood squirting from wounds. It's also a tribute to the fact that women can't stay off other women's men, because the entire plot centers around a secret affair that the human antagonist has with the protagonist's husband.

    Because it happens two miles underground, lots of the film is incredibly dark and shot in cam corder infrared mode. Spooky. The monsters don't even make an appearance until maybe 30 minutes in, and there's a bit of a debate among those of us who saw it as to whether the exposition is too much and takes too long or not enough but still too long or just right.

    And, of course, we saw this movie at 11:30pm, so I didn't sleep that night while I was having nightmares about monsters and caves. As I mentioned coming out of the movie, this movie is scarier to you if you believe that monsters exist. Like me. The girl who seriously evaluates the zombie-safety rating of her home. Scary shit, and more entertaining than a typical scary movie because it's an all female cast.

    Illumination
    So this is a French film, which by default means it's about love. Ha. Let me say to begin that I did adore much of this film, but it's the first year in three years that I didn't walk out saying the French love commentary film was my favorite of the festival. Some of this was situational. We got in at the last minute from the rush line and the only seats left were in the second row. The first part of the film takes place on the water, so all of the motion shooting from that close up started me out feeling ill. Then poufy hair man sat in front of me and obscured the majority of the subtitles, so I was gong on portions of subtitles and French vocab that I know for most of the film, which was not as bad as it sounds, but also not ideal.

    That said, in a non-circumstantial element, the film is shot in a color palette of mono-chromatic grey, you know, like films that take places in harbors. I hate that experience. I don't live in San Francisco largely because I can't stand a grey world. It's hard for me to completely get into a film that looks like it could have been shot in black and white and not have changed the visual aesthetic all that much.

    Plus, there's some extra footage in this film that takes it to being 130 minutes long that's totally not necessary. There's this entire 20 minute (possibly more) chunk of film in the middle where the protagonist stops visiting his shrink and wonders off into the country to seek guidance from a spiritual guru and his cult. That story goes nowhere and serves no purpose except to set up a few good jokes later on. There's probably an argument that without it you feel less like the protagonist goes on any kind of journey, but I would have gladly given up the twenty minutes to get into the story of his romance with Christina more quickly. Or to get back the scene that was clearly cut out between Christina and Ilduit meeting for the first time and then bumping into each other in the street.

    But, even with all of that, it's still a beautiful film. The ending is fantastic. There are some adorably funny scenes. The sense of two people making a connection is as well done as you've ever seen it done. I had a lot of problems with elements of the film, but you still get swept up into it as it goes along. Those French and their emotion-driven films. What to do with them?

    Look Both Ways
    This won the Academy Award in Australia this year. Which means that both the Australian Academy Award and the US Academy Award for best picture were given to films that were ensemble cast pieces. Remember all those trailers for Crash where Don Cheadle or somebody is doing the voice over that goes something about how people just want to make a connection so desperately that they're willing to crash into each other just to do it? Well, that's what Look Both Ways is pretty much about too. Remember how Crash got so wrapped up in its political statement on racism that it didn't really totally deliver on the whole "human connection" element so much? Well, Look Both Ways comes pretty close to getting wrapped up in its philosophical statement on mortality that it almost forgets that part too. The difference? Mortality and philosophy are more closely tied to human connection than politics and racism (though, you know, just barely), so you get more to ponder on the human connection front.

    William McInnes is my new Australian fantasy boyfriend, but his performance is the weak point here, which is sad since he has the lead role. The thing that really makes this movie work are the performances of the ancillary characters.

    Revival Films
    For the record, we also went to the afternoon with Jean-Claude Carriere and then saw the revival of Belle du Jour, otherwise known as "Women like to be beaten and fucked." Ha. Really, Belle du Jour is a film about a rich woman who has sadistic fantasies and goes to work in a brothel to satisfy them. It's an exploration of the dark continent folks, as explored by a man, so there may not be all that much validity to that. That said, I love that film. I mean, issues, but I do love that film.

    And we saw two Kubrick films. I dislike Kubrick films. I know that makes me a blasphemer, but what can I do?

    All in all, a good film experience.

     

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