Five Things I Love: Twelve Men I Lust For

You all, I worked on this on and off all weekend. Seriously.

Firstly, five things that I currently love becasue I want to spread the word to the world so you can all enjoy to.

This Amos Lee CD: Firstly, I know that you're saying "Every time you go to YVR, you get in some folksy southern mode. Like, last time it was all Paul Brady. What's up with that?" I don't know. But I do know that I LOVE LOVE this cd. I even love the political song (Freedom), and I love the lyrics to "Line of Pain" and I mostly love "Shout Out." And probably you should listen to this cd, too, unless you really hate southern folk. In which case I'm not sure why you read my blog and talk to me.

Vancouver: And I say this every time I'm here, but why am I not living here? We'll talk more about it later, but if you've never taken a trip to Vancouver, you should.

Plantidote by Origins: It's the most amazing face product ever made by anybody. It's completely changed my skin. The other night, I got drunk and fell asleep with my makeup on, and my skin was all horrid the next day, and I put on the plantidote and it was fine in a few hours. It's like youth in a small, round tub. Love it.

This Amazing Story That I Can't Repeat to You: But it's about a person I know who went on Blind Date as a dare (but not really a dare, more like a challenge). And every time I'm feeling stressed during the day I think about it and it makes me laugh. Like out loud laugh.

This Little Piece of Crack: No, seriously. It's chocolate, peanut butter and pretzels in one nice little package. I expect one to be packed in to every single Christmas card I receive this year. I mean, clearly a woman created this. And she should be the next President of the U.S. Of the WORLD, really.

Now, twelve men whom I lust for. I've been meaning to share this revelation with you for a while, but, you know, football season. A while back, before football started and I went dark, G-Man of Playsure and I were having this extended conversation about how I should adopt the whole Hollywood marriage paradigm and marry one person a month for a year. That, of course, led to our spending days, literally, hammering out a list of who would be my top twelve celebrity husbands. Because this is the stuff we enjoy. It took a while, because I would eliminate anybody who was already married from consideration, which I probably didn't need to do since it was a Hollywood marriage paradigm. But this is the list we ended up with. Ladies, enjoy this break in your work day.

#1: Mark-Paul Gosselaar: Yes, ladies, you loved him in Saved by the Bell, but he really won your hearts in NYPD Blue. G-Man of Playsure actually obtained an autographed picture, which hangs by my desk at work. And when I'm feeling blue during the work day, I talk to Mark-Paul about our future on a beach in Hawaii somewhere with a pair of prop handcuffs from NYPD Blue and a really kinky moment when I call him Zach.


#2 Jensen Ackles: People, his acting resume includes Dark Angel, Smallville and Supernatural and he looks like candy. For a nerdy girl like me who loves her science fiction and her hot men, he's perfect. And by perfect I mean like a little package sent down by God to make the world a better place.


#3 Andrew Dan Jumbo: Of TLC's While You Were Out fame. He can seduce me by making fine, custom teak furniture and woo me with a hammer in his hands. I think he is most likely the only man on this list whom I would never be able to say "No" to in any capacity. And the accent. And the funny saying t-shirts. And the guns. Oh my GOD. Catwoman says "Oh my GOD" too!


#4: John Bruce: Yes, you say, "Jocelyn, two of your top four men you would want to marry for a month are from a home improvement show on TLC, and one of them is presumably gay." I say, "I don't have to answer to you. Good design makes me hot."



#5: Chris Drury: Because last I checked we all knew that I like big, burly guys. shamus does not find Chris Drury hot at all. Neither does Halff. But I don't need to answer to either of them. For real, you all. A person doesn't need to have teeth every moment of the day to be hot. In fact, having lost some of your real teeth while being a warrior on the ice may just be hot all on its own.


#6: Hines Ward. How did Hines Ward fall to number six on my list, you may ask. Because the Steelers are losing and losing is not as hot as winning. But still, I mean, he's so yummy. It we were going to make near-perfect men, they should be modeled after Hines Ward. He even has a sexy name. And he's so happy! All the time! He's always smiling, and that's the hottest thing about him!


#7 Leland Chapman: It's a combination of the fact that he's Hawaiian, ripped, heavily inked and charmingly not that bright. And any man in a lai and all black combat gear can arrest me at any time. That last one was not very original, but I was so distracted thinking about Leland Chapman that I couldn't focus on writing anything clever.


#8: George Clooney: Every woman in the world is offended right now that he's way down at number eight, but I saw Syriana and the fat-Clooney is still boldly imprinted on my mind. But, I mean, he's Clooney. There is no man who more personifies what women find hot, and I feel like a hack for even having him on this list.


#9 Kieffer Sutherland: By which I obviously actually mean Jack Bauer. It makes me want to become an international terrorist spy just to get taken down by him.


#10: Naveen Andrews: He technically probably shouldn't be on the list since I think he's actually with Barbara Hershey, but we're going with it anyway. Why are we going with it? Yes, partially it's because there are moments on Lost where he looks so hot that I literally make this little burble type noise out loud and offend all of the other men in the room. But mostly it's because of the film Kama Sutra. Yes, dudes, that's the one where somebody dies by getting stepped on by an elephant. That's not my point in reference to Naveen Andrews though.


#11: Johnny Reznik: He may be married too, but I've lost track. The dimple. The messy hair. The "deep, probing" lyrics. The guns. The whole "sad little rocker boy with so many sad little problems" thing. Really, mostly the "sad little rocker boy with so many sad little problems" thing.


#12: Taye Diggs. I will simply quote G-Man of Playsure here. "What woman's list is he NOT on?" And because of that we overlook his happy and stable marriage to a wonderful woman.


"So this entry is what you did with your weekend, Jocelyn?"

"Yep."