How to Really Impress a Guy You've Been on Three Dates with in 10 Steps

1. First, go out and party like this. Click any picture to see a bigger version.







2. When that party wraps up and you and TrickyNic are obliterted and Toni isn't fantastic either, ensure that the drunkest of the three of you (which is NOT you, btw), starts SCREAMING "I want to go swimming, I want to go swimming." It's 2am, so there are no pools open and you don't know what to do with her. In your drunken stupor, think that it's a good idea to call THESWEETESTBOYEVERINTHEWORLD because he has a sick swimming pool. Call him and scream into the phone: "I'M DRUNK AND MY GIRLS ARE DRUNK AND WE'RE AT NEW YORK NEW YORK WILL YOU COME PICK US UP ON THE STRIP AND LET US SWIM IN YOUR POOL?" Remember later that he's a stand up kind of guy when he comes to collect all three of your drunken asses from the pavement outside of NY NY.

3. Once he collects you and your two drunk ass friends, make sure that the drunkest of the three of you starts screaming "I NEED PIZZA! I NEED PIZZA." Be amazed when THESWEETESTBOYEVERINTHEWORLD pulls over to the grocery store on the way home (because even in Vegas it's too late to order) to run in and buy frozen pizzas for the three of you.

4. Make sure that while THESWEETESTBOYEVERINTHEWORLD is in the grocery store, you crawl over into the driver side of the Jeep, open the door and lean your head out to "Get some air." Make sure that when he comes back, you look up at him and mutter "I really don't feel fantastic right now."

5. Next, when you arrive at his house, make absolutely sure that before he can even lock the front door behind him, you and your two drunk ass friends have ripped off all your clothing and run and jumped in the pool. Classy.

6. Eat pizza and have all three of you ramble drunkenly at him. Suddenly, look at him and say, "I'm going to be really sick." Run to the downstairs bathroom and puke in the toilet. Make sure you look as AWESOME as possible while you do this, with your pool towell and your mousy pool hair and your running makeup. When you are done, be sure to look up at him and say, "Do you have an extra toothbrush?" Because you are a classy girl who would want to brush her teeth now.

7. Go to bet and LEAVE THESWEETESTBOYEVERINTHEWORLD downstairs to manage the drunkest of your drunk ass friends. Then really show how classy you are when the drunkest of your drunk ass friends insists on coming in to say goodnight to you before she goes to sleep and crawls on top of you and screams at you to wake up for 10 minutes.

8. When you wake up in the morning, tell THESWEETESTBOYEVERINTHEWORLD that you need to go to the grocery store because you want to make everybody breakfast, but make sure that when you go downstairs to leave for the grocery store, the drunkest of your drunk ass friends is standing ass naked in the middle of the kitchen looking for Diet Coke.

9. Then make sure that when you get back from the grocery store, your other drunk ass friend is laying ass naked by the pool. Jesus.

10. On the way back to the strip to drop Drunkest Friend off and get your car out of valet, make sure less drunk friend invites herself and you back to THESWEETESTBOYEVERINTHEWORLD 's house for the REST OF THE DAY to lay out by the pool. Make sure she also gently suggests that grilling steaks on his sick grill would also be awesome. Then actually do that.

For the record, then do awesome and sweet things for that boy all week while telling him what a super star he is and wondering actively why on earth he would ever ask you out again. Don't mention to him that your crazy girlfriends are coming back to town in a few weeks while you do this. Make him lots of dinners and walk the dog for him.