Holidays in PA: Chapter Two (in which I call my family's drinking problem heartwarming)

There was a lot of drinking of the alcoholic type while I was home. On Friday, Candy and Bill of the Big and I went out. First Candy and I went out, and most of what I remember involves walking into the liquor store and holding up a bottle of freakin' Beefeater and announcing that we could buy that shit and be just like my dad. I didn't even think it was funny, but apparently it was.

Candy is beautiful. This odd fusion hibachi, sushi, bar place called Nakama on Carson Street is hot. I drank endlessly. And then...

Candy asked me the next day, "Which is lower on your Christmas list this year? They day you woke up to find your family drinking Jim Beam at 5 in the morning, or having to listen to Bill and I fight at full volume all night long last night?"

And I looked at her like she couldn't be serious, because watching my family booze at five in the morning is heartwarming. Listening two people argue about taking the garbage out at four in the morning is not. On the other hand, it was entertaining. I don't want to make this sound like I didn't have a good time out with Candy, because despite lots of unexpectedness, it was so much fun. I'm just saying...I'm saying that if Candy weren't somebody I adore, I'd probably recreate some of that argument dialogue here and it would be amusing.

Holidays in PA: Chapter One (In which there are large menorah on cars)

Pookie cruises into the Starbucks on Murray Ave, sits down, strokes his chin contemplatively and says, " Have you written your journal entry on your holiday trip home yet?"

"No," I say, "Why do you ask?"

"Because, Jos, I feel that if you haven't written it yet, you'd be doing your readers a disservice if you didn't talk about the huge, mounted menorahs."

So, let me talk about that, lest you get shortchanged if I don't. Most of my trip home was spent in Squirrel Hill, which is the center of JewPower in Pittsburgh. During Hanukah, the Squirrel Hill faithful mounted huge, lit-up menorahs on top of their family sedans and mini-vans and drove around the streets of Pittsburgh yelling "Happy Hanukah" out of the windows. I'm not talking about small lit-up menorahs. I'm talking about two-foot tall menorahs, and sadly little children yelling out of car windows that we should all enjoy this holiday that's one step down from Christmas.

Pookie strokes his beard again and says, "It's really, you know, tasteless. I mean, there's no way you can put something like that on top of your car and not realize that it's tasteless. But I guess every holiday has something that's tasteless. And really, I guess it's no worse than putting a magnetic ribbon on the back of your car."

"Really?" I say. "Is it really no worse than a magnetic ribbon on the back of your car? Really?"

New for 06

Yes, new for 06 we switch to blogger format in my template because, well, it's easier and faster. I know you will hate me and it's probably not quite as pretty, but we'll all need to work with it, yeah?

You can find all of the pre-blogger entries in the old sitemap area, which will be current until December 06.

New archives will live below that and such.

And also, I did this so you all could comment instead of my posting and auditing emails. Now, of course, you will have nothing to say, but that's how it goes, no?